My name's Haruki Yagami. I'm 22. Yeah, you might've heard this name somewhere else, but hey—there are plenty of people with the same name. No big deal.
My grades back in high school were... not great. So naturally, I'm now living the soul-crushing life of your average office drone. What I didn't expect was to actually reincarnate.
The industry has always loved feeding us wage slaves stories about hard work, about victory, about how beautiful and fair the world can be.
Even when the world's neither beautiful nor fair, they'll dangle edgy power fantasy bait in front of us, making us think we're somehow special, destined to upend the world.
Then when we get slammed by reality, they'll comfort us with two-dimensional waifus to patch up our broken souls.
Once they've hollowed us out enough, they'll pitch the idea of reincarnating into another world—like some sort of spiritual insurance policy, so we can tell ourselves, "Hey, maybe I'll get a better roll next life."
But Haruki Yagami hadn't died—at least not until now. So he never believed in any of that crap. And really, having to die before living a good life just doesn't make sense.
Dead is dead. Reincarnation? The wheel of karma? Becoming some kind of Orphen or whatever? All that stuff is just fiction. Except now… it seems like he has no choice but to accept that he has, in fact, been reincarnated.
"Haruki Yagami, male, 22. Sudden death. Just like your last few lives, you're the perfect candidate for cultivating virgin energy."
"…If you're saying I'm forever a virgin, I guess I can't argue with that. But wait—what do you mean by 'last few lives'?!"
"You're literally talking to me in ghost form right now and still don't believe in reincarnation? What, you think this is all just some vivid dream?"
"Uh… I mean, no offense, but you don't exactly look like the King of Hell or anything."
Haruki Yagami frowned. The fact that he could actually express his thoughts to this guy proved it wasn't a dream.
Plus, he could float. Yeah, float. His lower body was just gone—like he was channeling Gojo Satoru—replaced by a little ghost tail.
He'd become a ghost, plain and simple. And he was currently floating in a really bizarre space.
It was huge, but not infinite—you could still see the walls and ceiling. Clearly man-made.
But it was packed with dazzling special effects, like a rave party from hell. And scattered throughout were little star-like objects floating in cages, making it feel like a tiny universe.
And right in the middle of this cosmic rave room, someone was swinging back and forth on a swing set.
The figure was pitch black, just a silhouette like something out of Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. Definitely not your typical Judge of the Dead.
If anything, a real King of Hell ought to have a silver-haired waifu with a scythe nearby. Or maybe a short green-haired chatterbox woman. Or a short-haired girl haunted by a fire lizard's ghost. Or that golden twin-tailed one who hasn't had a beach episode in years.
Hell, even the ox-headed demon from Dragon Ball would've made more sense.
—But this guy? He didn't look simple either.
"The author has no imagination, so they gave me this vague, shadowy design instead."
"So unimaginative that they couldn't even give you a single assistant?" Haruki Yagami deadpanned with a tired, dead-fish stare.
"Don't sweat the details. Point is—I'm the god in charge of your reincarnation." The swinging figure didn't waste time.
"Now—tell me. Which world do you want to start your new life in?"
"…I get to choose?"
Haruki Yagami looked skeptical. Every book he'd read said reincarnation was based on karma, on past merits. He hadn't exactly achieved anything noteworthy.
—This was getting less and less like what he expected.
"That's right. You've gone through multiple lifetimes without ever being in a relationship. That's tragic. So I'm cutting you some slack—letting you keep your memories and pick a world of your liking."
"…Can I, like, not reincarnate at all? I mean, it's not like I died peacefully of old age."
Even though the guy's explanation had some weird pity in it, Haruki Yagami wasn't too bothered. Might as well go with the flow.
—It's not like he was being charged a fee or anything.
"One day in this realm equals about a year back in your original world. You've been here for like an hour, so your body's already dust. Going back would just scare your family. And it's not like you'd find someone to hug even if you did."
The god shook his head—no dice.
"…Is finding someone to hug really that important?" Haruki Yagami muttered, barely holding back his frustration.
"Of course it is!" the god replied, all righteous and passionate. "It's the ceremony of life's creation! You've single-handedly doomed entire bloodlines for generations!"
"…Wouldn't that mean I should go back to fix that?" Haruki Yagami blinked. How did the conversation loop back here?!
"Alright then, can you even find someone to hug you back there?" The god's tone turned serious. "Answer me, Mr. Shinichiro Yamamoto!"
"Who the hell are you calling Yamamoto?! I'm perfectly capable of finding someone to hug, alright?!" Haruki Yagami refused to be compared to that sad bird-watching old man.
"…Can you promise your way is… healthy?" the god pressed, eyebrow metaphorically raised. Haruki Yagami's expression went weird again.
"And you're saying your way is?"
"Absolutely," the god said without missing a beat. "In fact, I've got several perfectly healthy world options where you're guaranteed to find someone to hug!"
"World 1: You reincarnate into a regular island nation family. You'll spend every summer and winter holiday at your aunt's place, making beautiful memories."
"World 2: You reincarnate into an American family. One summer, during a camping trip, a zombie outbreak begins."
"World 3: A matriarchal society. You're part of a male martial arts school, fighting to win respect for men in the World Fighting Championship."
"World 4: A world filled with mysterious creatures called Arimon. Your goal is to become the world champion by capturing and battling them… and maybe save the world too."
"World 5: Pretty much like World 4, except the Arimon are all girls. Your job is to lead them to the top."
"World 6: A medieval fantasy world. You're a hero, teaming up with various skilled girls to fight in tower defense-style battles à la Arknights."
"World 7: You're a Japanese high schooler who meets a debt-ridden girl. To help her repay her debt, you start scouting potential idols using your special skills."
"World 8t: You're a college student who moves to a mountain village with a history of mining disasters. There, a new life awaits you."
"…Aren't these way less healthy?! And why the hell would I, as a college student, go live in some mountain village with mining accidents?!"
Listening to this parade of absurd "worlds," Haruki Yagami was slowly losing it—especially when the god started showing illustrations to go along with each one.
—There's no way half of these would even make it past the censors back home!
"Of course, if you don't want the countryside, you can always work an office job," the god added helpfully, pulling out a new plan instantly.
"So now the village became corporate hell…" Haruki Yagami's expression twisted, while the god replied nonchalantly:
"Just say the word. Do you want to go or not?"
"Yeah. I want to go."
Haruki Yagami answered without the slightest hesitation. After all, the guy on the other side had practically spelled it out—keep being difficult, and things might escalate to something more... physical.
And if that happened, he'd be the one getting the short end of the stick. He was just an ordinary human—what was he supposed to use to bargain with a god? Better to go along with it for now.
Sure, it might be dangerous, but it still beat outright pissing the guy off. Besides, he could shift his thinking a little.
Instead of begging to be sent back to his original world, why not make use of this new one's power to research a way to travel through space and time on his own?
This was a chance the so-called god had handed to him directly. Now the only question left was—could this god actually let him restart his life in another world?
"I really get to choose the world myself, right?"
"Of course," said the god, that matchstick figure of his wearing a playful grin. "Go on, tell me. Which world do you want?"
"You can pick one of the ones I just mentioned, or suggest your own. Just keep in mind—it's gotta be the same kind of world."
"—A wholesome world where you can actually hug girls."
Yeah right, I still wanna say—your so-called 'wholesome' worlds are anything but!
"…Then the fourth one. The world of Arimon."
Haruki Yagami twitched his lips into a half-smile. Since the god had said it had to be one of those worlds anyway, he couldn't be bothered to come up with his own.
"Good taste. Then I wish you an entertaining life over there."
The god's tone turned breezy. As soon as the words left his mouth, he snapped his fingers—and Haruki Yagami vanished into thin air.
"So this is the world of Arimon…"
When Haruki Yagami came to, he found himself in a completely new environment. Judging from the thick greenery and dense trees around him, it looked like he was in a forest.
All kinds of strange creatures were roaming about. There was a brown bird with an angry expression perched on a branch.
Green caterpillars with red forked antennae, and oversized cocoons hanging off tree trunks. Big purple and orange rats darted through the underbrush…
These had to be Arimon, right?
Wait a minute. Caterpie, Kakuna, Rattata, Fearow—the hell is this?!
This is the freaking Pokémon world!