I woke up in pain, a dull throbbing ache pulsing on my side as if someone had kicked it repeatedly. My hand, without thinking, put a little pressure, and I couldn't help but yell out.
"Ouch." As I continued to try and catch my breath, I couldn't help but wonder why I was in so much pain.
The last thing I remember was going to sleep, and then all of a sudden I'm here. Just who am I? I looked at my small, delicate hands that looked very unfamiliar. Also, all the dark marks across my skin and pain radiating throughout my body were from injuries inflicted by another person.
Even though it was difficult, I concentrated on memories that weren't mine but also were at the same time. I used to be a man, but somehow I'm now a girl named Seraphina.
I couldn't help but laugh in a mocking manner at what I've become.
My side was lying on the cold ground while my body was curled into itself. I didn't have the strength to pull myself up and only looked at what was around me in this dark room. A floor that was grey and poorly taken care of with visible stains of the abuse this body experienced over the years.
"She's awake." A voice said from outside the door I was now fixated on. Not one that was kind but one this body feared.
The door was pushed open violently, and then rough hands grabbed my arm. I couldn't help but wince in pain. My body lifted off the ground as if it was weightless, yanked in the direction of the door he had just come through.
"Come on, you bastard!" The voice barked. I looked up and saw a man who was middle-aged with a sharp appearance. He obviously had no respect for me, so I tried to pull back, but his strength was far superior to mine, forcing me to move. "Don't be difficult, or you will be hit!" He roared.
Of course I didn't answer him as my body went limp without any energy to force myself out of this situation. I wanted to cuss him out or yell, but the endless abuse this body has taken over the years has taken a toll.
I couldn't help but sway side to side as the world tilted. My stomach turned and knees buckled until I stumbled forward. He just kept dragging me no matter if I was willing or not, giving a rug burn to my feet.
The hallway we entered was cold and smelled of wet stone, with decorations littered across the wall pretending to be noble. It had chipped gold trim, portraits that watched you like they regretted being hung here, and faded rugs.
"You're always causing trouble." The man muttered under his breath. "You should be grateful you even get to sleep indoors."
I wanted to spit in his face, but for some reason I couldn't feel my tongue.
A stain on a noble house's pride was my birth, and the bastard father was named Count Everen Durel. Apparently, this body was born from an affair the Count had with a servant, and when the woman died giving birth, he begrudgingly took me in. Not out of love or anything, but for the convenience of selling me off in the future for gain.
He didn't even bother to care for the original that is currently my new life. Being a woman in a world that very much looks down on the fairer sex, my future is probably doomed.
I still don't know how I ended up here. Maybe it was a god's joke to punish me for living a pathetic life in the past. The idea of ending up in another world after my death was always a fantasy of mine, but not like this. If I were to be put into a girl's body in this kind of setting, at least give me some power!
Days turned into months, and before I knew it, I'd been living this hell for a year. It was hard for me to ever truly know how long I've been here because of the small gap that allowed me to see the outside world.
To put it bluntly, I was pretty much Cinderella, but instead of a wicked stepmother and sisters, I got a whole house of horrible people. The hired help would treat me as if I was lower than them, pushing their odd jobs off on me.
Then there's the true evil of this household, the Count's true daughter, Evelyne, who has made a game out of humiliating me daily.
I remember the first time she slapped me very vividly. It was because I didn't bow low enough to her. So when I begrudgingly accepted her order while being forced down by the help, she would place her foot over my head as if saying, 'You're nothing.'
No matter how hard I tried to fight back, I couldn't do much with such a weak body. She was also merciless at making sure I was never one hundred percent fully capable. Meaning, I was always hurt in some way, giving her pleasure of some sort on her disgusting face.
Her evil laughter was like nails on a chalkboard. I wished for nothing more than to rip her eyes out and stab her relentlessly with a dull blade until she bled out.
The most pathetic part is I thought because I was a man in my last life, I actually thought I could stand up to her. But that only made it worse.
I remember reading stories in my last life of girls in these types of stories just accepting the fact they were being abused and never giving any effort to get out of the situation. Now I truly understand just how hopeless you can become when you've tried so many times to escape but are always brought back and beaten even worse.
What makes it even worse is the body seems to remember. It trembles so much towards certain people, and trying to get myself to overcome these emotions isn't easy. My soul fights it relentlessly, but this body just won't allow me to truly fight back.
Even though I know it isn't her fault, some part of me despises the original owner for not getting herself out of here before I entered her body. But I know that isn't fair, and she didn't ask for any of this either.
Every day I was dragged out of my room by that same evil man to be gifted right in front of Evelyne. She would look down on me with such a provocative face that deserved to be smacked. I don't even remember the last time I woke up naturally.
It was usually by force, causing me to always roll up into the fetal position, trying to protect myself in the only way I'm able to.
As I opened my eyes to start another morning, I was stunned awake by freezing water hitting my face like a slap from hell. I choked, sputtering as I jolted awake, pain running through my injured body. It felt like something shifted inside my body. A grinding crack in my chest that made me nearly black out.
My hands shot to my side, instinctively cradling it, but the water kept pouring down on top of me. The nightgown I was wearing clung to my skin. I felt like I was shrinking into myself, every inch of this cursed body screaming in protest.
Then I heard it, a disgusting laugh that I was all too familiar with.
"Good morning, sister." Evelyne cooed, like a cat toying with a dying mouse.
Her foot was placed on my head after I had tumbled out of the bed. As I looked up at her with hatred, I saw the look on her face that showed as if she'd just stepped on something revolting. Those blonde curls were pinned up perfectly; if only I could grab each one and pull them off her head.
The dress she wore was, of course, exquisite, something she enjoyed pushing into my face on most of our encounters. There was also an empty bucket in her hand, not caring at all that I saw she was one of the culprits.
"How does it feel?" She asked sweetly.
I looked up at her with water still dropping from my chin and strands of hair sticking to my face. My breath is heavy, and my body is screaming with the abuse I've taken over the years in this household. But none of that compared to the boiling rage I felt inside.
Her face told me everything, and it was Prepare for pain. How dare you look at me with such contempt? Then before I could even brace myself, she was in front of me with her hand coming across.
Crack
The sound rang like a gunshot; her lips curved up looking at me in utter despair and pain as if she's getting off on it. The weight of my own powerlessness, once again, was blaring loudly at my current situation and the routine of this psychopath, Evelyne.
I couldn't help but let out a groan as I rolled over onto my side. It wasn't really from the pain but from the fact I've mentally given up at this point with how futile my current situation has become.
If only I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but all I saw was a deep black hole of Evelyne.
"You'd better fix that attitude." Evelyne snapped, towering over me as if she was my god or something. "Because if you keep looking at me like that, I'll make sure no one ever looks at you again. Not even with pity!"
Evelyne crouched low, her voice laced with venom. "I'll toss you to the filth in the slums. You think your pride means something? Try surviving one night among homeless dogs. They'll ruin you, rape you, and beat you worse than I ever could." Then came her laugh, as if she would really do it and probably watch with delight.
A shiver ran down my spine as my hands started to tremble at the thought. I couldn't help but pull my damp sheet over my body and curl into it as if it's some type of makeshift force field to keep away evil.
Of course it didn't help me at all! Even through the sheet I could feel her gaze burning through it. She let me lay there in my own world for a little while, hearing no one leave the room, as if trying to play a trick on me.
The sharp sting of something hard slamming into my back followed. Not once or twice, but until whoever was swinging the weapon got tired.
Remembering the years of memories I had from the original owner and my own will that's been battered over the last year since I've entered this body, I tried not to scream. Until she became bored of my non-action would be the only way I could get her to leave me alone.
"Tch, it's not even fun when you play like a dead dog." She muttered, tossing whatever she'd been using to the floor with a loud thud. "Oh, and by the way." Evelyne said before she left the room. "You won't be eating today. Consider it punishment for that filthy look on your face."
After that, everyone hurried out of the room with a loud slam of the door.
I didn't move for a long time. The blanket was still damp with cold water and stuck to my skin like a second flesh. My cheek throbbed from the slap, and my back felt as if someone used it for batting practice.
I HATE THIS!!! I couldn't help but say it in a low whisper so no one outside the room who could be listening in could hear.
In my old life, no one laid a hand on me without getting something broken in return. I didn't care if they were bigger or if they could hurt me. The idea of bowing to another and being used like this was so far outside the realm of possibility that I couldn't understand the thought process behind the idea of doing it.
But with this body… this cursed body… It didn't care about who I used to be or my willpower from my last life. The pride I gained from being someone who never backed down from a confrontation.
This body was weak and feminine. I've been abused for so long it all blends together. Most days I only have one meal, and actually seeing the outside world and getting proper exercise was only a dream.
Every time I tried to stand up to her, I crumbled. When I tried to glare and show my hatred for her in a manner that wasn't directly blurting it out, I still suffered. Even now it feels more and more like my voice might even be abandoning me.
As time passed, I just stayed in this fetal position because what was the point of even getting up? Do I really want to live such a life? I was, of course, too afraid to kill myself, but I wanted someone to save me!
This wasn't even a dream I could wake up from, but reality, and I was trapped.
I stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours. The wooden beams above were cracked like old bones. At some point a tear slid down my cheek; that was a rather common reaction to my utter desperation at this life.
If there is a god in this world, which obviously there is because how else would I be here? Just why did you give me such a life? Am I only worth this much? Not to mention me, but even this poor girl who lived this life before me. She was even more miserable.
If only we could give each other a hug and comfort one another, then at least we would have someone in this big, cruel world.