It was a normal morning at Anemo School.
Xiao was sweeping the garden paths with precision that could slice a hilichurl in half.
Kazuha was brewing tea with wind leaves.
Heizou was hiding alarm clocks in everyone's closets.
Wanderer was trying to erase his own name from the school roll with a Sharpie.
And then… a very polite knock echoed from the main courtyard gates.
Knock knock knock.
The doors creaked open to reveal a young man in Hydro-blue regalia, pristine boots, formal braids, and a stern yet elegant expression.
He carried a stack of holy documents, a clipboard, and the aura of someone who read the rulebook for fun.
"Hello. I'm looking for... Archon Barbatos."
Everyone stared.
"I think you mean Venti?" said Kazuha.
"Unfortunately, yes."
---
Enter: Dahlia of the Church of Favonius
Venti was mid-lute solo in the music room when the door slammed open.
"BARBATOS."
"EEP!"
The bard choked on his own windnote as Dahlia, the most church-licensed Hydro in all of Mondstadt, stormed in with the fury of a hymnbook avalanche.
"Did you forget your spiritual duties again, your holiness?"
Venti looked up, blinking. "Dahliaaa~! My favorite hydro-lecturer with a clipboard of doom!"
"Silence. Do you have any idea how many divine festivals you've skipped this year?"
"I was busy teaching gliding to children and drinking apple cider! That's divine enough."
"You turned the Cathedral's holy water into sparkling berry wine."
"They seemed very happy! Sister Rosaria even smiled!"
"She growled."
---
Dragging the Archon: Hour One
For the rest of the day, poor Venti was dragged through every corner of the school by Dahlia, who treated him like an underperforming choir boy.
"Barbatos, you haven't signed the holy weather schedule for two months."
"But sunny vibes come from the heart!"
"Your heart is full of hangovers."
Heizou laughed so hard he choked on a grape.
Wanderer whispered, "This is the best day of my life."
Kazuha just took notes in a poem titled 'The Wind Meets Discipline'.
---
Teatime Teasing with Grand Master Varka
During lunch, Dahlia activated the Varka Summon Protocol, i.e., a hydro communication crystal that made Venti's soul instantly shrivel.
"Hello, Grand Master," Dahlia said cheerfully.
Varka's booming voice came through: "Ah, my two favorites! Dahlia, my faithful paperwork knight. And Venti, my favorite irresponsible disaster!"
"HELLO DEAR FRIEND WHO DEFINITELY MISSES ME," Venti wheezed.
"Have you been attending archon meetings?" Varka asked.
"...Define 'attending.'"
"Have you been sober?"
Venti pointed to his juice box. "Mostly!"
Varka laughed heartily. "Dahlia, keep dragging him. I fully support the process. Don't forget the Barbatos Chore List! I added a line: 'Clean Cathedral windows. Shirtless.'"
"HE DID WHAT?!" screamed Venti.
---
Windboy Down: Detention by Divine Guilt
After surviving three lectures on spiritual responsibility, two passive-aggressive hymns, and one hydro-powered guilt fountain, Venti collapsed in the grass.
"Someone bury me in dandelions."
Dahlia stood above him, unfazed. "Tomorrow, we revise the Doctrine of Eternal Bardsmanship."
"Do you have a bedtime?"
"Yes. It's when I finish cross-checking divine logs for meteorological sins. Yours are in double ink."
Everyone applauded. Even Xiao cracked a faint smirk.
Wanderer leaned over and whispered, "I like this one. Keep him."
"I—wheeze—hate you all."
---
Evening: Softness Amid Suffering
Later, as the stars rose, Dahlia finally let Venti rest beneath the statue of the Anemo Archon. They sat quietly, the air gentle and cool.
"I know I'm a mess," Venti said softly. "But I still love this world. I just… show it in messy ways."
"I know," Dahlia replied. "That's why I keep showing up. Because someone has to remind the wind where it came from."
Venti smiled faintly. "...You're really annoying, you know?"
"I'm told it's a divine gift."
---
To Be Continued...