The sky above me was beautiful.
Too beautiful, in fact.
Blood soaked my battered body, dripping from my cracked lips, staining my robes a deep crimson. Beneath me stretched a mountain of corpses—my enemies, my betrayers, my once-called allies. The scent of death was thick in the air, yet all I could do was laugh bitterly.
I was once the Sword Immortal.
The strongest cultivator of my era.
And yet, here I was—wounded, betrayed, abandoned.
The righteous sects. The demonic sects. Even my own allies—the ones who toasted with me under moonlit skies and called me "brother"—they all turned on me. Not because I did wrong, not because I fell to darkness, but because I grew too strong.
They feared me reaching Immortal Ascension. So they ganged up on me, sealing me away like some rabid beast.
I looked up at the heavens, my heart heavy, my vision blurry with unshed tears. "I never asked for this," I whispered. "I never wanted power. I never wanted glory. I only wanted… a peaceful life."
The cultivators surrounding me flinched, shaken by my words. My voice echoed like thunder. My tears fell like rain.
And then—BOOM.
With a single roar, I unleashed the full fury of my suppressed cultivation. The sky split. The earth cracked. Within 10,000 miles, everything exploded. Mountains crumbled, rivers boiled, and terrified screams echoed.
Still, it wasn't enough.
My soul began to fade. I smiled one last time, eyes distant.
A beautiful wife... a simple life... is That so Hard to Give?...
I had fought. I had conquered. I had earned fame, fear, and an infinite number of grudges. But none of it made me truly happy.
What I wanted… was peace.
As my soul scattered, I made one final wish.
---
The next moment, I was kneeling in a ridiculously luxurious room, my head bowed before a pair of delicate feet.
Wait… what?
"Lick it," a cold voice commanded.
Excuse me?
I blinked and looked up, completely disoriented.
Standing in front of me was a breathtakingly beautiful girl—white hair cascading down her back like snow, emerald-green eyes that gleamed with disdain, and a tight black dress that clung to every inch of her... distracting curves.
Before I could say a word—WHAM!
A foot slammed into my face.
I was sent flying across the room like a sack of potatoes, crashing into a marble pillar. The impact rattled my bones.
I groaned. "Since when… am I this weak?"
Then I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
"…Holy shit."
My face was skeletal, skin clinging to the bones. Black hair, messy and lifeless. Blue eyes dull and hollow. I looked like a half-dead scarecrow wearing noble robes three sizes too big.
"Fuck," I muttered. "I really reincarnated like this?"
As memories rushed into my head, I quickly realized the full horror of my situation.
I was now Sen Ashton, third son of the prestigious Ashton family—a noble house known for honor, dignity, and strength.
Unfortunately, this Sen was none of those things.
He was trash.
A perverted, useless scumbag who groped maids, used his status to bully the weak, and was universally hated by nobles and peasants alike.
I wasn't just reborn. I was reborn as literal human garbage.
Apparently, the old Sen had made a deal with his fiancée—Silvia Elowen, that proud and terrifying elf I now remembered kicking me in the face. If he licked her Foot (yes, her Foot). and this body
make a proposal engagement in name only and never bother him again.
And apparently… She agreed.
Unfortunately, Silvia had too much pride to go through with it, and instead shouted, "STICK! I will NEVER acknowledge you!" before storming out.
I looked down at myself and nodded solemnly. "Yeah… stick's the right word."
Then I threw a dramatic punch into the air—only to trip over my own feet, crash into a table, and hit my head.
Rubbing my bruised temple, I glared at the sky through the window and flipped it off. "Screw you, Fate! You did this on purpose!"
FWUMP.
A bird flying overhead decided to join the conversation by releasing a gift.
Right on my face.
"…You've got to be kidding me."
The smell hit instantly.
Rotten eggs? No. Worse. It was as if a skunk and a dead cow had a baby, and that baby exploded on my face.
I dry heaved all the way to the bathroom.
As I bathed, I could hear the whispers of the maids outside.
"Why does he smell like a sewer?"
"Did someone throw a corpse on him?"
"He's so disgusting… did you hear what he did to that poor maid last week?"
I didn't say a word. I'd lived lifetimes full of betrayal and hate. This was just another Tuesday.
After scrubbing myself clean of poop, shame, and past sins, I sat down in the bathtub and crossed my legs in a lotus position.
They think I'm weak because this body has no core.
And they're right. This body doesn't.
But I do.
My soul carried over my dantian—my true source of cultivation. While my power was far from its peak, I still had enough Qi to reach Nascent Soul realm. In this world where power was ranked from 1 to 9-Star Knights, Mages, Assassins, and Beast Tamers, I could still hold my own… even if I had to pretend I couldn't.
Perfect.
Two hours passed. By the time I finished cultivating, I had reached Mid Qi Refinement. I smiled, flexed my arms, and threw a test punch.
It actually had force behind it.
Next, I began body refinement. The best technique I had was the Golden Body Technique, something I stole—er, earned honorably—in my past life.
Unfortunately, my body was so trashy, I couldn't even reach the first layer. My smile twitched.
I got out of the tub, dried off, and dressed in fresh noble clothes. A splash of perfume later, I felt like a new man.
Then… she arrived.
"YOUNG MASTER! PLEASE DON'T TOUCH ME!"
The shrill cry pierced my eardrums. I turned around—and instantly regretted it.
Standing before me was a maid.
But not just any maid.
This one was so hideous, so round, so horrifyingly large, it looked like someone had stuffed a troll into a maid outfit and called it a day. Her face was as round as a mooncake, her voice deep enough to summon demons, and her shriek made me want to destroy the world.
I stared blankly. "...Touch you? Lady, I'd rather throw myself off a cliff."
If this was my past life, I might've sliced her in half just for breathing near me.