They say time heals.
But sometimes, time just teaches you how to hide the pain better.
I was thirteen when the world cracked open beneath my feet. For two years, I lived in silence, surrounded by shadows wearing the faces of men. I smiled in front of my mom, I laughed at the right moments in class, but inside—I was breaking. Every touch burned. Every glance from an older man made my stomach twist. I stopped being a person. I was something else. Something used.
When she finally found out, everything stopped. Police, courtrooms, therapy rooms, medications—
A blur.
They were arrested. That should've made me feel safe.
It didn't.
The bruises faded. The scars on my skin healed.
But what they did to my mind... that lingered.
I cut my hair short, traded my skirts and soft colors for hoodies and loose jeans. Tried to disappear behind the image of a "boy" that people expected. The pretty face still got stares, but at least now they looked confused rather than hungry. It was safer that way.
It has to be safer now.
Today is my first day of college.
A new city. A new school. A new me.
I stood at the train station, watching the morning crowds blur past me. Everyone with a purpose. Everyone with somewhere to go. I pulled my hood up tighter, fingers brushing the edges of my earbuds—but no music played. I just wore them to avoid small talk.
My name is Hoshino Akari.
Yeah. Sounds like a girl's name, doesn't it?
I haven't had the courage to change it legally yet. The paperwork. The looks. The explanations.
Maybe one day.
But today, I just want to make it through the first hour.
I adjusted the strap of my backpack and stepped onto campus.
Don't look at anyone. Keep your head down. No eye contact.
It's just college. No one knows you here. No one can hurt you now.
You're not that kid anymore.
The breeze carried the scent of cherry blossoms—late bloomers clinging to the branches like forgotten dreams. A small part of me wanted to believe that was a good sign. That something could still grow from everything I'd buried.
I made my way toward the main building, gripping the schedule in my pocket like a lifeline.
"First-year orientation... Room 203... Okay."
I took a deep breath.
Then everything stopped.
Or rather—I did.
I'd turned a corner too quickly. My shoulder slammed into someone tall, firm, and solid like a wall. The impact made me stumble back, landing awkwardly on one knee, my heart lurching into my throat.
Shit. Shit. Shit!
The stranger leaned down immediately, his hand outstretched. "Sorry! Are you okay? I didn't see you—"
A man.
Tall.
Broad shoulders.
Dark hair that caught the light.
Warm brown eyes—eyes that looked... worried, not angry.
But it didn't matter. My chest clenched.
I froze. I couldn't move. My fingers refused to take his hand. My vision blurred, and the thud of my heartbeat drowned everything else out.
He's too close. Too close. Too tall. His voice—too low. He's just like—
"Hey—hey, it's okay." His tone softened even more. He stepped back, giving me space. "I'm not gonna touch you. I swear."
I blinked. Air rushed into my lungs like I'd been drowning.
He stepped back?
He knelt at a careful distance, hands raised in a non-threatening way, and offered a gentle smile. Not the kind that twisted behind closed doors. It was soft. Awkward, even.
"You're new here too?" he asked, voice still kind. "I'm Hayato. Second-year. I'm helping with orientation stuff."
I stared at him, still crouched on the path.
My throat tightened. "...Akari."
My voice came out small, almost a whisper.
I hated how shaky it sounded.
He didn't comment on it. Just smiled again. "Nice to meet you, Akari."
I finally forced myself to stand. My knees ached.
He didn't move to help. Didn't reach out.
Thank god.
"Sorry I bumped into you," I said, not meeting his eyes. "I wasn't looking."
"Me neither." He rubbed the back of his neck, sheepishly. "I always get lost in thought when I'm nervous. Even though I'm second-year, this kind of stuff freaks me out."
He's nervous too?
I glanced up for half a second. His face was kind. Not overly handsome like in the magazines—but warm. Safe-looking. Something about that made my heart ache.
"Are you heading to orientation?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Cool. I'll walk you there—unless you'd rather go alone?"
I blinked. That question.
Not "Come with me."
But "Would you rather?"
He was giving me the choice.
People rarely did.
"I... don't mind."
We walked in silence for a while. I kept a small distance. He didn't close it. No weird glances. No staring. Just comfortable quiet. It felt strange. Unfamiliar.
"Where are you from?" he asked, eventually.
"Eh... Miyagi."
"Ah, that's nice. I visited Sendai once for a festival. Amazing food."
He grinned to himself. "I got food poisoning, though. Worth it."
A laugh slipped from me before I could stop it. It was small. Quiet. But real.
He looked at me with mock offense. "Hey! I almost died!"
I shrugged, lips twitching. "You said it was worth it."
"True." He grinned. "What about you? You like festivals?"
I hesitated. "...I used to."
The silence that followed was heavy—but not uncomfortable. Like he understood I didn't want to explain.
"Maybe you'll start liking them again," he said, gently. "There's a big one this summer. I usually go alone. Could use some company."
I looked at him.
He didn't say it like a trap.
He said it like a maybe.
A maybe I could choose.
I didn't reply. Not yet. But something shifted in my chest.
We reached Room 203. A small crowd had already gathered. My stomach clenched again, and I instinctively pulled my hood further down.
Hayato glanced at me. "Want to sit together?"
I hesitated.
Then nodded.
And just like that—he smiled again. Like it wasn't a big deal. Like I wasn't a big deal.
I wasn't sure if I could trust him.
Not yet.
But I didn't feel the need to run.
And for the first time in years, that felt like a win.