Present.
"His Majesty the Emperor is here—!"
Head Eunuch Ming's announcement snapped Zi Hua out of the past.
Li Zhen Tian's tall figure appeared in the doorway, his golden dragon robes glaringly bright. When he entered, she could no longer see anyone or anything else.
He was the sun, while she could only look up at him.
With a sigh, Zi Hua curtseyed. "I greet Your Majesty."
Li Zhen Tian's smile vanished, replaced by a frown.
"Everybody, leave us," he commanded.
"Yes, Your Majesty."
Head Eunuch Ming was the first to react, hustling the stunned eastern chamber maids on his way out and even shutting the door for his master's privacy.
When they were alone, Li Zhen Tian walked up to Zi Hua and cupped her cheek. "Zi Hua, is something wrong?" he asked.
She turned her head aside. "Nothing Your Majesty should worry about."
She sounded flippant. Distant.
She wasn't like this last night... So the change could only have happened while he was away.
"Tell me, did something unpleasant happen at the morning assembly?" he pressed. "What did they say to you?!"
'They' could only refer to his other consorts, and reality gave Zi Hua a solid punch again. She wasn't his only consort, yet he was her only "Zhen".
He hadn't went to see Bai Nan Feng after the empress dowager punished her, and compared to what Bai Nan Feng went through, her own experience was child's play. It was hardly worth mentioning.
"It's really nothing," Zi Hua insisted, pushing him away gently. He still looked dubious, so she added, "I just realised I've been committing great disrespect towards you ever since we met. You're the emperor, the ruler of Li Empire, and I... I shouldn't have called you by name. It's wrong."
"Hahahaha!"
"What? Did I say something funny?"
Li Zhen Tian's laugh trickled out. "Who was the one who claimed she didn't care about my identity last night? I do not recall you being drunk to forget it."
"That— I— You..." She scrambled for an excuse and failed.
That's right. Why had she let inferiority strike her?
Just because a random matchmaker whose name she couldn't even remember, or the noblewomen whom she weren't familiar with belittled her, didn't mean the people she truly cared about did.
In Xiping, her father and brother loved her unconditionally, never restricting her freedom or happiness. Here and now, Zhen expressed acceptance as well. Besides, he'd seen what she was like already, in all sense of the word.
"Then... Zhen?" His nickname rolled off her tongue. It was the same as six months ago, yet with his identity and his permission, it felt... different.
She didn't expect him to shake his head. "Call me 'Tian' instead," he said. "It is the only part of my name which is my own."
Somehow, Zi Hua understood why he held his name dear. His surname, Li, was a symbol of imperial authority, legacy, and supremacy. It belonged on the nation's flag, above the citizens it governed and loved. His middle name, "Zhen", was likely the common denominator of his generation's imperial scions, like how she and her brother shared the middle name "Zi".
In retrospect, using "Zhen" as his alias was a smart move to hide his identity, because "Tian" was quite literally the national name of his reign.
"Do you have any siblings, Tian?" she asked.
Back in Xiping, she had asked him the same question. Sudden curiosity arose: 'How much of his answer had been the truth?'
"I have two half-sisters, but both are married now. The empress dowager's in the capital; the consort-born in a distant province."
"What about brothers?"
For a second, a shadow fell over Li Zhen Tian's face. "One left—Grand Prince Hong."
"Oh! Isn't he the prince-general who quelled the West River Revolt at the age of sixteen in the Twenty-Fifth Year of Yong and—"
'Oh no, why did I bring him up?!'
The words died on Zi Hua's tongue as an important fact belatedly registered.
It was common knowledge that Emperor Tian was Former Emperor Yong's fifth son... and his least favoured. Nobody could have foreseen him being anointed as crown prince and becoming emperor, but such was the twist of fate—Grand Prince Hong, the then-favoured Fourth Prince, returned from a victorious battle only to be greeted by the news of his imperial father's passing and younger brother's ascension to the Dragon Throne.
The throne many had believed was his to claim.
However, that wasn't the end of his surprises. After the victory banquet, Emperor Tian and Empress Dowager Qiu's factions had wasted no time in confiscating his military authority and troops, granting him the empty title of "Grand Prince", and exiling him to Yongrui under the guise of governing it as part of his new territory.
Three years passed, and he had never stepped foot in the capital since. Only whispers of his valour and success on the battlefield remained, circulating in the border provinces he used to defend from barbarians. Once a war hero, turned a powerless prince.
Zi Hua would never have dreamt that she would come to have such a strange connection with a figure whose fate she had briefly lamented before.
But still, Grand Prince Hong was a sensitive topic, and Tian's feelings were more important than her feeble curiousity.
Luckily, a knock sounded on the door, shattering the awkwardness.
"Your Majesty, Noble Beauty Yang, the food has arrived from the Imperial Kitchens," Head Eunuch Ming called. "May this servant enter?"
Li Zhen Tian cleared his throat and headed for the dining table. "Enter."
Zi Hua followed and sat opposite him wordlessly. Even when the servants streamed in and filled the table with over twenty delicately-plated dishes, she barely registered the opulence of this meal.
How could she have been so ignorant, missing the cues written on his face?
Although she knew it would be unwise to bring up the abandoned topic, it felt wrong to leave it hanging like that. So when the servants left under Tian's insistence, she reached over the table and clasped his hand.
"Tian," she started, "I'm sorry for how tactless I was earlier. If you feel uncomfortable, or if it brings up some bad memories, you don't have to answer my questions. We can get to know each other at your pace; I'm not going anywhere. Always."
Her assurance seemed to take effect, and the shadows of the past drew away from him. He didn't look as closed off anymore, nor did he reject her apology.
"To have you by my side is already a fortune," he said with a small smile. "What discomfort would there be?"