Chapter One – My College Crush Is Getting Married
Lyn blinked hard as he checked the clock on the nightstand. The LED lights cut through the dark without giving a damn about his insomnia. Three AM – in two hours, he should be on his feet, ready to go for his morning run. Then a quick shower, an even quicker breakfast, and he'd be off to work looking as sharp as ever. Burning the candle at both ends never ends well, his boss Amber would scold him over and over, but Lyn didn't feel tired. He felt as driven as the day he had passed the bar exam, and if he wanted to make partner before turning forty, sleeping shouldn't be in the cards for the next decade.
Still, at times, when he woke up just a few hours before dawn, he couldn't keep his thoughts at bay. His professional life was perfect; he put in the long hours, he reaped the rewards. Since he'd been promoted to mergers and acquisitions, his life had taken an even more interesting turn.
But that was his professional life. Regarding the other parts, Lyn couldn't help feeling that something was missing. The ghost of a breath on his back reminded him that he wasn't alone in bed. Once every three nights, on the dot, he was never alone in bed.
His fuck buddy shifted in his sleep, turning his back to him. He liked El; he liked him a lot, and they were great in bed together. But—
His phone screen lit up, another beacon in the darkness. He couldn't sleep anyway. Lyn swung his legs over the edge of the bed and grabbed his phone.
For long seconds, he stared at it, wondering if he wasn't seeing things. His insomnia could make him feel confused, his doctor had warned him, while advising him for the umpteenth time to get more rest.
Still, no matter how many times he blinked, the message was right there.
You're a hard man to find, Lyn. But I knew it was you the moment I saw your name. Looking great, man. So damn sharp. Corporate law, huh? It's been too long. Let's catch up. By the way, I'm getting married. There's no way I'm taking this big step without you present. What do you say? Give me a call.
For a moment, Lyn thought the room was tilting. He checked the message again. Now wasn't the time to let anxiety get the better of him. The doctor had warned him that what he felt wasn't a condition, but the result of too many black coffees and long hours. But it could develop into one if he wasn't careful.
The doctor had never mentioned the possible treatment for getting contacted by your college crush after eight years only to learn he was getting married.
"Fuck," he murmured under his breath.
Brad was always on his mind. He was one of the reasons for his insomnia. Although he hadn't wanted to share such intimate details with his doc, Lyn had hinted there were things he couldn't let go of.
You're very driven, Lynton. A great trait for a lawyer, but a damn trap for a human being. You can't stand losing, right?
Yep. The good ol' doc was right about that one thing. Lyn couldn't stand losing, and eight years ago, he'd lost in the most crushing way. He should've been more careful. It wouldn't have been the end of the world if he'd just kept his mouth shut. What was that thing about being fearless to get what you want? Not without proper backup, or a plan B. He had rushed in blindly. And for eight years, he had lived with regrets.
He read and re-read the message. The only social media profile he kept was on a platform intended for professionals, but Brad had found him anyway.
Lyn was glad. He was mad, too, because Brad was getting married. But this was his chance to see Brad again. He wouldn't mess up; he wouldn't miss this chance.
He sighed and ran one hand over his face. The one-day stubble felt rough under his fingers. El told him he looked like a ruffian when he didn't shave on weekends. Lyn liked how El's eyes shone when he said stuff like that. They were good friends. But that was all.
"Up already? What time is it?" El said in a sleepy voice and threw one arm around Lyn's waist.
"It's early. Go back to sleep." Lyn rubbed El's arm in reassurance. He needed more time alone with that message, to go over every word and parse it for any shred of meaning that might have escaped him the first time he'd read it.
"You're tense." El moved behind him and began massaging his shoulders. Lyn groaned in pained pleasure. "Why do you keep checking your phone? Bad news?"
How could he describe the news he'd just gotten? "You could say that," he admitted. "My college crush is getting married."
El stopped massaging him for a moment. "Brad? That Brad? Well, is he marrying a gal or a guy?"
"What sort of question is that?" Lyn snorted. "A woman, obviously."
The message didn't say that. But there was no way Brad would have taken a trip to the wild side. The mere possibility was enough to open a large can of worms and make Lyn's stomach clench tightly. No, but that couldn't be.
"Well, at least you'll have closure," El said, patting his shoulder.
"Yeah, I guess," Lyn replied, letting out another audible sigh. "Would you like to be my plus one?"
El didn't say a word for several long moments. It was always comfortable to talk to El in the dark like this. Lyn had always found that it made him feel a lot more rested than plenty of other activities that were meant to put his mind at ease, like meditation and whatnot.
"Are you going to hate me if I give you more bad news?" El eventually said, most likely feeling Lyn's attention trained on him and his lack of reaction.
"What bad news?" Lyn asked, modulating his voice to avoid any pitchy tones. He was quick to jump to conclusions when it came to bad news. He had learned to take his time first, learn what the news was before jumping the gun.
"We won't be able to see each other like this anymore," El said, sounding weary and regretful. "Mark asked me if I'd like us to go steady. I told him 'yes'."
"Mark? The guy with the goatee?"
"Yeah."
"He seems nice."
"Yeah. Yeah, he is nice." Another awkward silence followed. "Are you mad, Lyn?"
"Mad? Because you found your better half? No way." Lyn pushed himself up and walked over to the large window. His bachelor pad offered a nice view of the city, dormant, yet still alive at this hour. He shivered as his naked soles touched the hardwood floor. But lingering in bed with El after this little bombshell would feel wrong.
"Okay, not mad, but maybe jealous? A little, at least?" By the noises he was making, El was wrapping himself up in the sheets.
"Why would I be jealous?" Lyn rested his forehead against the cold glass and stared bleakly at the few solitary cars heading toward their unknown destinations at that hour. "We're fuck buddies, El. I mean, we were until one minute ago. Fuck buddies don't get jealous."
"Wow, you're harsh," El commented.
"What would you like me to do? Or tell you? You know I'd never lie to you. I'm not going to start now."
"Okay, that's fair," El agreed. "I should get an Uber."
"At this hour? No way. Go to sleep and you can leave in the morning."
"What are you going to do? Somehow, I don't think you're coming back to bed."
"That would be weird," Lyn admitted. "I like you, El. But now that you have a boyfriend, I'm not going to fuck you anymore."
El let out a short, breathy laugh. "Is this your way of telling me I'm a whore?"
Lyn frowned. He was starting to get a headache. There was a reason why he didn't do relationships. They were messy, complicated. With so much on his plate at work, he didn't need this kind of complications. El seemed pretty reasonable, but now was proving how touchy he could be.
"Did I say that? Stop reading into my words. I promised you honesty, and you're getting it."
Although he couldn't understand why El had come to him tonight and slept with him. The sex had been good. It was always good. The men who had passed through Lyn's bed were usually pretty wowed by his technique. He was good at it. He was a great top. Their words, not his.
"Ask me why I came tonight when clearly I told Mark 'yes' before that." El sounded petulant and vengeful. A bit like a child. Well, he was five years younger. Lyn had counted on that and on his lack of interest in becoming responsible to get him in bed. The hipster clothes and bleached spiky hair definitely contributed to it. But it looked like age or style choices had nothing to do with a person's attitude toward commitment.
"Fine. Why did you come tonight, El? Are you going silent on me again?" Lyn insisted, once more silence followed.
"Because I hoped you'd tell me--" El started. "Ah, forget it. You're right. You told me not to expect you to fall for me or any other stupid shit like that."
"Jeez, aren't you a little too old to throw a tantrum? When did I ever say anything like that?"
El laughed again, but hell, he didn't sound amused at all. "Right. You're perfect, Mr. Lawyer. You say only words that could never be used against you in a court of law."
Lyn turned on his heel and walked over to the bed. He climbed onto it and pushed El against the headboard hard. He caught his smooth jaw and kissed him once on the lips. "I'm going to miss you, El. For real. Make sure Mark treats you right, okay?"
"Damn you, Lyn," El complained, but the fight was gone out of him. "I'm going to miss you, too. You're so damn good in bed."
"I'm sure Mark is going to keep you satisfied," Lyn said in an easy tone.
El sighed and pushed him away playfully. "Let me sleep, you insomniac. By the way, since it's my last night here, can I hope for breakfast?"
"You'll find juice and eggs in the fridge. Drop the key in the mailbox when you leave."
El groaned. "There's not one romantic bone in you, Lyn. Fine. I'll do that. Now go. Stalk Brad on social media, check out his wife. You know you want to."
For the last eight years, he'd felt tempted so many times. But he had never given in to temptation. Brad's life wasn't his business. But El had a point. If he was going to attend the wedding, he needed to learn what he was walking into.
***
Since all his details were in the professional profile he had set up, Brad must have known that his message would arrive in the middle of the night to its recipient. Lyn munched on his lower lip while looking at the time at the bottom right of his computer screen. He'd call during his lunch break. That way, he'd avoid seeming too desperate to reconnect.
"Hey, what's with you?" Amber waved a sheaf of papers in front of him, interrupting his musings. "Did you get any sleep last night? You look ghoulish."
"Yes, of course, I did," he reacted. No, not really. He had stalked Brad on social media, just like El had advised him. Her name was Bella, and she was true to the name her parents gave her. A tall blonde woman in her late twenties, with a dazzling smile. She looked happy in all of Brad's pictures with her. The perfect golden couple.
Brad looked… older. Handsomer. He caused the same ache to squeeze Lyn's stomach, even after eight years. The young man had grown into a man with broad shoulders, knowing eyes, knowing smile. Lyn couldn't help thinking Brad was mocking him with his perfect happiness.
"And what do you mean, I look ghoulish?" he said, revolted, grabbing the papers from Amber's hand. "More work? Really? No wonder I look as worn as your old law textbooks." Amber was as much a workaholic as he was. They could joke like that.
"Interesting comparison, but it doesn't fit you. I'd say," Amber pondered while crossing her arms, "that you look like a wet kitten."
Lyn scoffed. "Are you calling me a pussy? Really? Wait till HR hears about this."
Amber snickered, too sure of herself. It pissed him off, but he also liked her rough behavior.
"No, but you do look ruffled, miserable, and in need of saving. Just like a wet kitten."
He might be all of that and more. Therefore, he couldn't hold such a thing against Amber. "I might need some time off then."
"You? Time off? Are you telling me Lynton Calloway is taking a vacation?" She slapped her cheeks, doing a bad impersonation of that famous kid forgotten at home by his ditzy parents. "The world must be ending. Should I start stocking up on toilet paper?"
"No. I'm going to a wedding," Lyn replied, gathering all the courage he could drum up to say that. "To be frank, I need a break from you."
Amber touched her chest, gasping in outrage. "That hurt, not gonna lie. Okay, let me know how much time you need. It's summer, and business is slow anyway."
Lyn nodded. "Thanks, Amber," he called out to his boss, who was already on her way out of his office.
"Don't mention it. Have fun at the wedding. Make sure you don't catch the bug, though."
Lyn shook his head. As if. He hadn't had an actual relationship in his life, if he didn't count his fuck buddies. There was no chance of him catching that particular bug. Even if it was Brad tying the knot.
***
"Hi, Brad." He hoped his voice sounded sure enough, and like it belonged to an accomplished lawyer who had barely had time to think of his college crush from eight years ago. Twelve, if he counted all the college years he'd been in love with Brad. "Got your message."
"Lyn, my man!" Brad chirped happily at the other end. His voice sounded natural, familiar, as if they had talked only last night. Or every day for the last eight years. "So stoked to hear you. So, what do you say? Are you ready to send me off to the land of eternal marital bliss?"
Who talked like that in today's world? Lyn shook his head. Brad always had to put on a full display of showmanship.
"More than ready," he replied affably.
"Awesome, that's so great! Now, listen, I know you're a big shot lawyer, but can you spare like a week… no, ten days?"
"Ten days? What sort of wedding is that?"
"I was thinking of a reunion. A vacation before I tie the knot. You know, a bit of time for us to reconnect. All expenses paid," Brad added like an agent dangling an impossible-to-refuse deal in front of a hesitant customer.
Lyn felt his heart do a little flip. Brad wanted to reconnect. Over ten days. "I'll see what I can do," he said, keeping his tone neutral.
"Great, great, I'll send you the details. Pack your swim trunks. We're going to hit the beach, drink cocktails, remember the good times… you know, all that fun stuff."
Ten days with Brad. Reconnecting. Lyn had to grab his knee to stop it from jerking. He was reading too much into what had to be Brad's way of throwing a long-ass party. It was his way of doing things.
"So, a reunion, huh? Who else is coming?"
"Oh, we'll be a bunch of people," Brad said enthusiastically. "Bella invited her entire family and like a few dozen friends."
Lyn grimaced. What had he been expecting? Did he really think Brad would want him all to himself for a week or so before his wedding? That was the sort of stuff that turned perfectly reasonable men into schmucks.
"And of course, it wouldn't be a reunion without him," Brad continued to blabber on, emphasizing the last word, giving it the right meaning for Lyn to catch it.
"Ah," Lyn grunted noncommittally. "Have you kept in touch with him? All these years?" Neither had to say the name; they knew who they were talking about.
While you didn't make an effort to search for me until you were getting married?
"Nah, nothing like that. I had a harder time finding him than you. He's a heart surgeon now. Big shot."
Everyone was a big shot in Brad's eyes. Lyn pushed back the nasty sting. He wasn't all that special to Brad, and he needed to live with it.
"By the way, you'll be rooming with him. We're a little cramped with all the people coming. And there was also a little mix-up with the reservations and--"
"Sorry, what? Rooming with Alexander? Oh, damn, Brad. What did I ever do to you to deserve such punishment?" Lyn said in a mocking tone.
Brad couldn't have forgotten, right? There wasn't exactly any love lost between Lyn and Alexander. Actually, there wasn't anything of the kind between Lyn and Brad, either. Or between Brad and Alexander. That last night of college life had taken care of that.
To his surprise, Brad chuckled like it was no big deal. "Come on, Lyn. I know you're a neat freak, and he's going to pester you for it, but feel free to tell on him if he gets on your nerves too much."
Lyn sighed to hide his disappointment. "Is he going to be there for the whole ten days you're planning?"
"Yeah." Brad fell silent for a few moments. "It's so good to hear you, man. I can barely wait to see you. I was talking with Bella about you, and I was telling her: Can you believe this guy was like such a huge nerd in college? Look at him now, stylish enough to be on the cover of GQ."
Lyn pressed his lips together to stop himself from grinning. So Brad had noticed that he'd gotten handsomer, too. Even if it was only to tell his future wife about it. What wet kitten? Amber better eat her words. For those ten days, he'd look his best.
That felt good. It even took away the unpleasant edge of having to room with that obnoxious Alexander for the entire ten days of their reunion.
"Is he just as stiff as he was in college? I suppose he still can't stand to be called anything other than Alexander."
Brad laughed. "Be grateful he doesn't want us to call him Alexander Montgomery III all the time. Although he's the very definition of stiff upper lip still, he's not as stiff as he used to be in school. Life has given him a few tumbles, so don't be too hard on him."
Alexander? Tumbles? Lyn couldn't picture that. The cool, collected, and arrogant Alexander he knew would treat them as mere nuisances.
But Brad's words had the effect of an ice cube dropped unexpectedly in a hot cup of coffee.
"What happened to him?"
"I'm not going to tell you. If he wants to share stuff with you, that's fine, but I don't want to risk his wrath." Brad's voice was more subdued now. Alexander could be fierce and scary when angry. That wasn't the kind of image Lyn thought he'd ever forget. "He didn't open up to me, either, so don't be jealous. I just googled him, that's all. You could do the same."
Yes, he could. But Lyn had no intention of googling Alexander when he had to prepare for ten days of perfect summer.
With Brad. After all these years.
"I'm not the type to pry. As long as he keeps to his side of the room and doesn't make a mess, I'm fine with the situation."
"That's awesome, man. I knew you'd be a total sport about it."
Since when had Brad started using words like 'sport'? Did he also have a membership at the local country club? Lyn could see him as part of that scene. He'd blend right in.
He shook his head to get rid of the petty thoughts crowding his mind.
"Send me the details and I'll be there."
"Awesome," Brad repeated the same word he seemed to love so much. "Let's do this."
"Cool," Lyn replied, trying hard not to be infected by Brad's enthusiasm. "By the way, congrats on finding your girl."
"Yeah, she's awesome."
Like everything else in Brad's life. Would he still think the same when their little reunion was over? Lyn swung his chair around, taking in the city at his feet. Maybe it was better for them to let bygones be bygones.
And maybe he'd get that closure. Yeah, it sounded like a plan. Although Lyn wasn't sure about the closure part. Brad wanted to see him after all.
Him and Alexander. The notorious third wheel.
TBC