Kim Dokja didn't want that.
If he weighed the two again, his friendship with Yoo Joonghyuk was more precious than the romantic feelings he harboured.
Didn't mean that he was perfectly alright and happy with it.
At first, he was filled with envy and resentment. Then it simmered down into something he didn't have a name for, curling into his heart, creeping around it like thorny vines and gripping it. It never left after that.
He thought back to all the memories they had shared. It seemed like out of a romance book, putting that in perspective, shouldn't he be the love interest that the main lead would end up with?
They had shared an umbrella so many times, and when they didn't have one, Yoo Joonghyuk had put his jacket over Kim Dokja's head to shield him from the rain. Yoo Joonghyuk had fed him using his chopsticks, he cooked for him. They confided in each other. They were even each other's first kiss! Sure, it was something that stemmed from curiosity, their classmates were playing truth or dare and walking back home, the topic came up.
It was a short kiss, lips on lips, unmoving, nothing else.
Yoo Joonghyuk had pulled away first, he was also the one to lean in first.
"So?" Kim Dokja had asked. "What did it feel like?"
"What about you?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked and Kim Dokja shrugged back.
He truly didn't know. He didn't think of it as weird, he didn't even find it foreign. He found it natural, in a way. . .He wasn't aware of what it was back then.
They went to different colleges because they scored differently on their CSATs. Kim Dokja felt it was a little unfair how Yoo Joonghyuk, who played more games than he studied got a better percentile than him. But he kept that to himself. He was supposed to feel happy for his friend.
Yoo Joonghyuk started a gaming career while Kim Dokja tried to make it into a mediocre college and get through his classes.
They didn't get to meet each other often since they went to two different universities, but they still texted a lot. One day, Yoo Joonghyuk called him and asked him to meet up for drinks, he had something important to say.
That's where Yoo Joonghyuk introduced Lee Seolhwa to him, his girlfriend.
Kim Dokja still remembered the utter turmoil his mind had been going through when he smiled at Lee Seolhwa and shook hands.
Everyone left with smiles on their faces and when Kim Dokja saw Yoo Joonghyuk kiss Lee Seolhwa, he felt like throwing up.
Completely confused, he went back to his college dorms. Was he like homophobic, but with straight couples instead? What was that even called? Heterophobic?
It took him three days to arrive at the solution.
He nearly broke his only coffee mug that day.
He was given no warning again! How was this fair?
Falling in love wasn't like they said in the books. At least not for him. Being in love was even worse.
He wished he could get it out of himself and throw it away. Nothing good came from it, not for him.
He tried a different route. Supposing that he was the second lead in Yoo Joonghyuk's story, his role had two ways of going. One, the more frequently used one, the pathetic lovelorn loser. Two, a trope that had started rising only recently, finding a new person and moving on.
Kim Dokja didn't like the ending the first option would give, so he tried finding someone to date.
That was a bit difficult, but he managed to do it.
He got cheated on.
The first time it happened, it came to him as a surprise.
He was more curious than sad, even though Yoo Joonghyuk almost went to beat up his ex when he heard the news. But he would ruin his pro-gamer career if he assaulted a woman, so Kim Dokja and Lee Seolhwa held the man back.
Lee Seolhwa even said, "If someone has to do it, then let me do it. It's a win-win that way."
"Seolhwa-ssi, what?" Kim Dokja had said, confused.
And that's when Kim Dokja realised that over all the times they had met each other and all the times they had interacted with each other, even though he didn't consider Lee Seolhwa a friend, Lee Seolhwa had considered him a friend.
He felt horrible.
Lee Seolhwa was a good person. She was an incredible person, actually and it was very understandable how Yoo Joonghyuk had fallen for her.
Kim Dokja tried to find a new reprieve.
He found one very soon in the form of an online archnemesis, frenemy kind of person. They said they wanted to meet up in real life.
Kim Dokja had been talking, battling it out online with this person for years now and he agreed easily.
That's how he met Han Sooyoung.
Han Sooyoung quickly became a good friend and he introduced her to Yoo Joonghyuk and Lee Seolhwa. Yoo Joonghyuk who had heard Kim Dokja complain about the asshole he had a major issue with online found it very amusing how they'd become thick friends in real life.
Han Sooyoung got integrated into their group quickly. She was the same age as Lee Seolhwa, Kim Dokja and Han Sooyoung had a reader-writer chemistry going on and she and Yoo Joonghyuk were generally major assholes. They got along well.
They were around twenty-three when Lee Seolhwa had gone for a placement year abroad, for her studies.
It was just the three of them after that and they grew even closer.
But the closer Yoo Joonghyuk and Han Sooyoung got, the farther Kim Dokja felt from either of them.
He realised some secrets were never meant to be shared. Especially if it was someone close.
Yoo Joonghyuk got exempted from military service after making it big. He went back to his family, whom he despised and rarely ever spoke about and brought back his five-year-old younger sister and said he was going to raise her.
Kim Dokja and Han Sooyoung said, fuck it, let's do that and helped him out with it.
Kim Dokja went to finish his enlistment once he got his degree.
When he returned, he was surprised to see how his friends had all grown in the two years he was away.
Lee Seolhwa was back, a step closer to her goal. Han Sooyoung was a successful web novelist and Yoo Joonghyuk's name was known internationally.
Kim Dokja wasn't expecting this. He suddenly fell behind. Far, far behind with no way of ever catching up.
He felt a little betrayed. Not by his friends, but by life. Unfair.
Life had always been unfair. All he could do was roll with the punches.
He found a job, he had to, to make a living and to survive. It was a full-time job as a server at a restaurant.
It wasn't the best, but it gave him some money.
He hadn't visited his mother in a long time, so he went to meet her after years, only to find out that she was sick. She wasn't planning to let him know. He understood, he wouldn't have either.
Cancer, they said. She didn't have long to live.
His friends gathered around him to help him, but all he felt was suffocated. He didn't let it show though.
Money was tight, his friends said they would chip in. It was the least they could do, they said.
Kim Dokja wanted to refuse, but he didn't. They were too stubborn anyway.
His mother was more stubborn though. She refused it point blank. Told them to not even dream of it and that if they tried sneaking behind her back, she'd jump off the hospital's rooftop.
It scared the others, but Kim Dokja thought she was trying to take a jibe at him. He pretended he didn't understand it at all.
"You'll be in a lot of pain," Kim Dokja tried, a weak attempt at convincing her. "I'll pay them back somehow. Just get the treatment done."
"Dokja-yah, how much pain do you think is a lot?" his mother had said.
He had no response to it.
He tried his best regardless, picked up more part-time jobs, took out a loan, signed up for a scheme the hospital had, some goodwill charity that a nearby church was doing, pulled all stops and got his mother to get the treatment.
It didn't work. She passed away soon after.
At twenty-seven, Kim Dokja was an orphan.
Yoo Joonghyuk held him close to his chest at the funeral. Kim Dokja wasn't crying, but he held him back anyway, feeling a little sick as he relished the warmth. Han Sooyoung never left his side and Lee Seolhwa seemed to be weeping all the tears he couldn't give his mother. He was thankful for them, truly.
It wasn't like his mother was present a lot in his life anyway, he could live without her. They had pretended the other didn't exist all the time they were alive, what difference did it make now? He moved on.
Kim Dokja met Yoo Sangah, a friendly colleague. He asked her to join him and his friends for dinner one day. Yoo Sangah was great at socialising, they got along well.
Yoo Joonghyuk introduced Lee Hyunsung to them. An ex-military man worked in the same company as Yoo Joonghyuk and was often Yoo Joonghyuk's bodyguard when he went for his tournaments and events.
Lee Hyunsung was a great guy, and their friend group widened.
Kim Dokja met Jung Heewon and he offered her a hand when she was in a tough spot and that began their relationship. She was consequently introduced to their other friends and this person got along well with the group again.
Yoo Joonghyuk had three mentees, he let them tag along one day. Lee Jihye, Kim Namwoon and Jang Hayoung.
Their friend group started looking more like a family.
It was strange. Kim Dokja remembered it when it was just him and Yoo Joonghyuk.
Yoo Joonghyuk's younger sister Yoo Mia had two close friends, Shin Yoosung and Lee Gilyoung. For some reason, they got attached to Kim Dokja and the group.
Now it really was like a family.
It was a bit suffocating again.
Everyone was happy. Kim Dokja wasn't. It was suffocating. So, so suffocating.
He felt like he was falling.
He had always felt like that. Falling, falling, falling, the pull of gravity inevitable. His body feeling heavy and the dread of the final crash looming over him.
Kim Dokja knew what the crash felt like. He'd fallen before. When he was fifteen, he had jumped.
His story should have ended there, but when had life ever gone the way he wanted?
He wandered through life aimlessly, waiting to die, until Yoo Joonghyuk found him. He had found a reason to live.
Humans were greedy. He should be glad with all he had. His current situation was a great improvement from what he used to be. But he still wanted more.
He wasn't allowed more though. It just wasn't in his reach.
He squared his shoulders and walked on. The sun rises in the east, all rivers run to the sea, Kim Dokja was a miserable existence. It was illogical to try and fight it. Fighting was hard, it was tiring and he had no energy left.
He truly had no energy left. He didn't know what he was doing as days blurred into each other and whizzed past.
Funnily enough, even with all the other troubles he had in his life, the thing that bothered him the most was his unrequited love for Yoo Joonghyuk.
It was pretty pathetic.
In his attempt to hide away that secret, he piled up a lot more secrets. He could never reveal all this to anyone. It kept piling up and piling up and soon drowned out any guilt he felt.
Apathy in a way he had never known took over him.
He had barely managed to hang on to some compassion and love he had for his friends.
If he died tomorrow, he wouldn't give a shit.
His friends would mourn his passing? Well, that was their issue to deal with. He was done with the mortal plane, their problems didn't matter to him.
His friends would skin him alive if they ever knew what he was thinking. He didn't know why they were the way they were. They got attached way too easily, he felt.
His twenty-ninth birthday dawned, and his friends threw him a surprise party in his small apartment.
They didn't even fit in the place.
He smiled widely, hiding the fact that he felt like throwing up.
Winter passed, spring came and went, and then it was summer. The kids had all the time in the world, the adults didn't.
Kim Dokja was tired.
Every free second he had was spent with the kids who wanted him to help them with their homework or entertain them in some other way. Listen to their stories, and give them attention.
They were kids, they needed someone to look after them. They wouldn't have gotten so attached to him if they had someone more dependable around. He gave them what they wanted.
In the evenings, his girlfriend would be home, tired from a long day's shooting. He would pull her into a hug, rest her head on his chest, run his fingers through her hair, listen to all her worries and complaints and comfort her the best he could.
He was exhausted.
He found out about the ring Yoo Joonghyuk had gotten. Things made sense in his head and something in his heart died.
He dropped all the responsibilities he had. Made his girlfriend dump him, ignored the kids for a bit, pretended his friends didn't exist and left for a few days.
On the way, Kim Dokja imagined countless scenarios where the train would just blow up and kill him. But that didn't happen and now he had work to tend to.
He wasn't going to do it anyway. His contract with Minosoft was ending soon, they would let him go and he would have to look for another job again. He didn't want to put in an effort anymore. He had burnt it all away a month ago.
Walking through an exhibition with booths and stalls that did not interest him, Kim Dokja wondered if he should try jumping off another building when he turned thirty. Fifteen, thirty, it had a nice aesthetical sense to it. He still had another year, anyway. He'd think about it then.
Kim Dokja met a strange man.
He looked a little like Yoo Joonghyuk, sounded a little like Yoo Joonghyuk, acted a little like Yoo Joonghyuk. . .And oh, his name was Yoo Joonghyuk.
But he wasn't his Yoo Joonghyuk. This man was different, older and weirder.
His gaze was intimidating in a way Kim Dokja couldn't comprehend. He thought it was probably the scars on his face that did it and pushed it to the back of his mind.
"Oh, for fuck's sake, you were flirting with me!"
A realisation that had flipped Kim Dokja's world over.
Where the hell was the warning?!
This fucked up, shitty, worthless world! Where the fuck was his warning before it pulled something like this?
Surprisingly, they cleared up the misunderstanding and moved on like it had never happened.
It wasn't always that Kim Dokja got to meet someone like this person, in this scenario. So he let himself loose and he did not regret it at all.
He was having fun. He was having fun after a long time.
Singing, sometimes screaming into the microphone connected to the karaoke machine via Bluetooth, sitting next to the CEO of a gigantic, multi-million company, Kim Dokja felt a little relieved in years.
The alcohol, the company he had, and the strange giddiness in his head made him open his mouth and heart and blurt out everything to this new Yoo Joonghyuk.
"I don't care about it," Kim Dokja said. A statement he had been repeating for years, until it became his first response, until he convinced everyone, including himself that that's what he felt.
"Liar," Yoo Joonghyuk spat in his face.
Kim Dokja himself wasn't sure how they had gotten to his hotel room, but they had. They had a little chat about who would take the bed and then decided that no one was sleeping on the floor.
It wasn't the first time sharing a bed with someone. Kim Dokja had, until a couple of weeks ago, slept in the same bed as his ex-girlfriend whenever she stayed over at his place.
But she wasn't Yoo Joonghyuk.
Yoo Joonghyuk's grip was strong as he pulled him into his solid chest and tucked Kim Dokja's face under his chin.
"Your muscles are very firm," Kim Dokja slurred.
"I work out."
"That much is obvious."
"Is it bad?" Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"No," Kim Dokja said honestly. "It's nice."
"Good," Yoo Joonghyuk huffed. "I'm tired. Shh, now."
Kim Dokja could work with it. He was tired too.
He closed his eyes and with this stranger's warm body enveloping his, he fell asleep.
Nearly two weeks after they had parted, Kim Dokja got a text from the man he was sure he was never going to meet again.
Kim Dokja would have ignored the message or given some kind of excuse, but the alternative was a dinner with his friends.
'Sorry
I won't be able to make it
Something came up'
Kim Dokja sent a message to his friends and agreed to meet with Yoo Joonghyuk.
He thought it was going to be another fancy bar, but it was a nice restaurant with private rooms instead.
Yoo Joonghyuk was already waiting for him, in all his glory, wearing a handsome pinstriped suit that evening. It was strange how the scars on his face didn't take away from his beauty at all. If anything it made him more intriguing. His eyes, it could be the heterochromia, but he couldn't be sure, something just made his stare piercing.
"Kim Dokja."
And his voice was another blessing to the world.
Some people sure have it all.
"Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi," Kim Dokja greeted the older man back. "It's been a while."
"It has," Yoo Joonghyuk gestured at him to sit down opposite him at the table. "I remember I specifically asked you to contact me."
"If I needed a drinking buddy," Kim Dokja piped in.
"It was an excuse," Yoo Joonghyuk droned.
"What did I say, Joonghyuk-ssi, you need to communicate properly," Kim Dokja said blithely.
Yoo Joonghyuk had already once mentioned that he was interested in pursuing a temporary, purely sexual relationship with him. And then he said he was past it. If that was the case, then why did he call Kim Dokja now?
"Did you want to go to the karaoke again?" Kim Dokja said.
"You gave me no response, so I thought you'd contact me after taking some time to think," said Yoo Joonghyuk. "What's your response?"
"To?" Kim Dokja prompted.
"My offer."
"Your offer?"
"Yes. . .Did you forget?" Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"Which offer exactly—"
"Work for me, Kim Dokja," Yoo Joonghyuk cut him off.
That offer.
Kim Dokja was surprised that he actually remembered it. Kim Dokja had almost kicked it out of his mind completely, it was just uselessly occupying space, making him dream of things that weren't going to come true.
"I must decline," Kim Dokja said again.
It wouldn't work. He was being reasonable.
His talents were limited and he had simply managed to dazzle Yoo Joonghyuk for a mere moment, when he was intoxicated, that too. He would soon find out that there wasn't a lot of shine to him and that he had made a terrible investment.
When that happened, Kim Dokja would be thrown out again. And imagine the way his CV would look after that. Why did he get fired from N'Gai Enterprises? Because the CEO was an idiot who made the mistake of hiring him in the first place.
"Consider this seriously, Kim Dokja-ssi," Yoo Joonghyuk glared at him. "Do you truly think you are in a position to reject this offer?"
"Yes, I do," Kim Dokja nodded.
"Your contract with Minosoft is ending in three months, is it not?" Yoo Joonghyuk said.
The first thing that came to his mind was, 'How did he know that?'
Then he remembered that money was everything in the world and in front of him was a rich, influential person. Of course, he'd found out things about him.
That also meant he knew about Kim Dokja's past. If he had actually done a background check on him, then. . .Yoo Joonghyuk's gaze didn't change though. He showed no signs of pitying him or feeling sorry for what Kim Dokja's childhood had been like.
Kim Dokja pushed it to the back of his head again. He'd look at it later.
"Yes," he said.
"And you do not have another posting lined up anywhere, do you?"
"No."
"What is your plan then?"
"I'll send out applications," Kim Dokja said simply. "And maybe pick up a few part-time jobs in the meantime, maybe at a convenience store or something in the service and hospitality industry, because I've got some previous experience with it."
Yoo Joonghyuk was getting angrier as he spoke.
It was understandable.
For some unfathomable reason, he was offering Kim Dokja a block of gold and Kim Dokja was saying he wanted to go dig holes in the sand.
Kim Dokja would be pretty pissed if he was on the other side as well. But he wasn't and as Yoo Joonghyuk had said, he had to think about himself first.
Yoo Joonghyuk inhaled sharply.
"If this is about your credentials," the man said slowly. "Fret not. Your worries are reasonable and yes, your qualifications do fall short, but your attitude can make up for it."
Kim Dokja raised his eyebrows.
"You will be working directly under me. No one will question you."
That was worse.
"I can oversee your interview myself."
A horrible way of doing things. No thanks.
"I apologise, but I'll have to decline again," Kim Dokja bowed his head.
"Why?" Yoo Joonghyuk roared, slamming a fist on the table.
"May I be frank, Joonghyuk-ssi?" Kim Dokja said. Yoo Joonghyuk nodded, listening to him earnestly.
"I do not want to work for you," Kim Dokja said bluntly.
"Or with you," he said when Yoo Joonghyuk opened his mouth.
"Honestly, I would like it if I didn't have to work at all. Everyone can dream, can't they?" Kim Dokja joked.
"But I mean it. I do not want to work at your company, Joonghyuk-ssi," he said. "I'm sure it's a great place and believe me, I do understand how great of an opportunity it is, but I do not think I'm suitable to take the position you are offering me."
Yoo Joonghyuk's cold glare could have frozen the Sahara over.
"If this is just another issue that is bothering you, then please know that you have full permission to take all the credit for my silly little idea. It's all about implementing it anyway and I'm sure that with your expertise, it'll flourish more than I could have ever imagined. And please, feel free to come and ask me if I have something in mind. I'll be sure to tell you."
"If it is another excuse," Kim Dokja continued. "I will have to decline again. Engaging in such an intimate relationship is bound to ruin the one we currently have and I would rather not lose you as you are. I consider you a close acquaintance of mine, a friend even."
Yoo Joonghyuk sat silently for a long time, fuming.
"You are infuriating," he said finally.
"I apologize for the inconvenience I've caused you," Kim Dokja said smiling ruefully.
"Are you a wall?"
"I'm certain that I am human."
"This is the last time I'll say it, is your answer still the same?" Yoo Joonghyuk said. "I won't ever bring this up. Even if you regret it."
Kim Dokja's smile widened. He didn't think he would regret it at all.
"I'm sorry," he said.
He knew it was a great opportunity. He knew it, but he wouldn't do well. Kim Dokja didn't even understand what was so great about the idea he had told Yoo Joonghyuk. He couldn't keep up with that person's seasoned, brilliant mind. It was just a thought Kim Dokja had while he was reading a sci-fi web novel. There was nothing great about it.
Kim Dokja was a humble man. He didn't have the habit of taking credit for more than he deserved. When he said he wasn't the one for the job, he wasn't being self-depreciating or putting himself down.
He was being logical and reasonable.
He couldn't take a seat when he lacked the qualifications. And all the rumours that would follow him around at work if he should do as Yoo Joonghyuk was saying. Kim Dokja was tired enough already. He didn't want any more of it.
"I still want you, Kim Dokja," said Yoo Joonghyuk.
"I'm afraid, you won't have me," Kim Dokja replied.
"Not even as a drinking buddy?"
He sure was trying to trick him into it. He would have to try harder in that case.
Kim Dokja's smile was still on his face as he said, "I can be your friend, a confidant, a drinking buddy and someone to go to the karaoke with. We can even go have dinner as friends sometimes too."
Yoo Joonghyuk regarded him with a dubious frown for a while.
"The food's delicious," Kim Dokja said.
They had dropped the topic and ate mostly in silence. Both of them seemed to have their own things to think about and didn't bother talking.
"Of course," Yoo Joonghyuk said simply.
"Out of curiosity, do you have the habit of not eating food made by others?"
Yoo Joonghyuk put his chopsticks down, very pissed.
"Don't compare me to your friend," he said firmly.
"I wasn't," Kim Dokja said quickly. "I was just curious. That's all."
Yoo Joonghyuk drank some water and picked his chopsticks up again.
"I don't have a lot of time to cook for myself every day," he said. "In that way, I am compelled to eat meals made by others. But if I have the time, I prefer food that I've made."
"I see," Kim Dokja nodded.
"Do you cook, Kim Dokja?"
"I can make food that's edible," Kim Dokja smiled. "I'm pretty average at it. My friend's an expert though. He's a great cook."
Yoo Joonghyuk's mouth curled downwards in distaste.
"He comes over every now and then to my apartment and scolds me about not eating well," Kim Dokja said. "He sometimes does my grocery shopping for me or he'll leave some food for me."
"He's leading you on," Yoo Joonghyuk snapped.
"No, he's being a good friend," Kim Dokja said, unbothered by the comment. "He's always been caring. He's a kind man. He does it for everyone. He nags at the kids when they get lazy. He scolds another friend of ours when she loses too much sleep while writing her manuscripts—"
"Enough."
Kim Dokja almost flinched at the icy tone. Almost.
"You seem more invested in it than you were last time," Kim Dokja said, a bit annoyed himself. "Did you do a background check on him too?"
"I did," Yoo Joonghyuk said shamelessly. "And I would like it if you talked more about yourself than that stupid boy."
"He's just five years younger than you, not a boy," Kim Dokja said incredulously.
"He'll always be a boy in my eyes," Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed.
"Care to explain?"
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't seem to want to elaborate because he gave no response to Kim Dokja's words.
They sat in silence for at least three minutes, their dinner plates clean and the dessert was brought in. Only then did Yoo Joonghyuk revisit the topic.
"The friend you talk about," he said. "He's my younger cousin."
Eh?
"My father's younger brother's son," Yoo Joonghyuk continued. "They had a bit of a falling out, our parents. They turned out to be more similar than expected because they both chose to name their sons after their great grandfather."
"Are you serious?" Kim Dokja said.
"Why would I lie about this?" Yoo Joonghyuk said dully.
"Wow, the Yoo genes are strong, huh?" Kim Dokja said when he found his voice. "No wonder you look and sound and even act a little similar."
Yoo Joonghyuk clicked his tongue and scowled but didn't refute his claim.
"He doesn't like your family," Kim Dokja started talking this time.
"Neither do I," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "It was a stifling place, slowly killing one from the inside. That boy ran away when he was fifteen."
That was news. He didn't know about that. Yoo Joonghyuk never spoke about it. He just said his parents were useless and that he lived with his master instead. Over the years, Kim Dokja had pieced together a story about Yoo Joonghyuk's family though.
"I can't help but wonder, is it like in the dramas?"
Yoo Joonghyuk smirked a little.
"You could say that," he said. "They do have a sense of elitism. And with the family facing decline, the fervour was disturbing. Feuds between family members were life-threatening and the pressure on the children to be the best of the best was immense. It—"
Yoo Joonghyuk stopped talking abruptly and Kim Dokja looked up to see his annoyed frown.
"Is something wrong?" he said tentatively.
"Your face," Yoo Joonghyuk said.
Kim Dokja hadn't been this insulted in months. What?!
"I do not like the expression on your face."
What expression did he have on his face?
Kim Dokja did his best to smoothen out any expressions he might have been making.
Yoo Joonghyuk huffed and stuffed his sweet rice cake into his mouth, chewing angrily.
"Is," Kim Dokja started cautiously. "Is your family going to cause them any trouble?"
Yoo Joonghyuk gave him a very patronizing stare.
"The family might as well be non-existent now," Yoo Joonghyuk said with a dark smirk. "The older generation passed away. The last people remaining would be my younger cousins, me and their mother. She's suffering with some ailment and I don't expect her to stay around for a long time."
"That sure is some way to put it," Kim Dokja muttered.
"Wouldn't you put your own story in the same way?" Yoo Joonghyuk said.
The chopsticks slipped a little in Kim Dokja's grasp.
"You know, it would have been more respectful if you didn't bring it up at all," Kim Dokja said slowly.
"I was showing you my hand," Yoo Joonghyuk said, nonplussed. "I'm telling you all that I know about you. You do not have to confirm the story or give me an explanation. This is simply what I know of you."
Kim Dokja didn't really know how to feel about that.
Then he decided to not think about it. It wasn't going to change anything.
He did think that Yoo Joonghyuk knew about him. He just didn't think he'd bring it up like this and finish dealing with the uncomfortable topic within less than two minutes.
"You are very quick at dealing with things," Kim Dokja said.
"Do you dislike it?"
"I don't," Kim Dokja said honestly.
The expression Yoo Joonghyuk had on his face could be translated into 'Good'.
"Would you like to join me on a walk?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked when the waiters cleared their plates from the table.
"Anything particular that you have in mind? Are we going to be drinking or...?"
"No, a simple walk around the compound."
"Okay."
It was a pleasant summer night.
"It's a hotter June this year," Kim Dokja muttered as they strolled lazily down the paved path around the building that was the restaurant.
"Is it?"
"Mmhm," Kim Dokja nodded. "The temperature keeps going everywhere these days."
"Does it worry you?"
"Not really. It's just an observation. I know, I'm supposed to be bothered by it," Kim Dokja laughed a little. "But worrying about the climate and the state of the world in some ten, twenty years isn't something I feel mentally capable of doing at the moment."
"Understandable."
It was a large area and though they walked and walked and walked, they were yet to turn a corner.
"Are you not going to answer that?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, finally drawing attention to the faint buzzing from Kim Dokja's phone in his pockets.
"No," Kim Dokja said simply.
"Spam calls?"
"No," Kim Dokja shook his head. "Probably my friends, but I'm supposed to be busy with something that suddenly came up today. Since I'm busy, I can't answer the phone."
"Did you have something else planned today?"
"We were supposed to have our monthly dinner today," Kim Dokja said. "But I skipped it."
"You can let me know if you have prior appointments," Yoo Joonghyuk told him. "I don't want you to feel pressured to meet me. You can put your friends first."
"I know, I did it on purpose."
Yoo Joonghyuk turned his head to look at him and read his expression.
"Alright," he said finally. "Use me as your excuse whenever you want to take a break."
Kim Dokja gave him a tight smile.
"Thank you. Anything I can do for you in return?"
"You have to be my excuse when I want to take a break," Yoo Joonghyuk said simply.
"You want to take a break?"
"I have responsibilities and tasks to fulfill. . .And a very overbearing secretary."
"Ah. Please, go ahead. I'll be your excuse if that helps."
"Good."