Chapter 1: Banana Proof I'm Not Crazy (Probably)
My name's Kyle Walker, and yeah I might be losing my mind.
If you don't believe me, that's cool. Treat this like a fantasy story, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the ride. But for me? This might be my first (and hopefully last) record of the madness I've been dragged into.
So here's the deal: I think I'm seeing things. Not "Oh look, a unicorn!" things more like status screens, quest pop-ups, and XP bars. You know, the kind of stuff that's fun when you're reading a web novel, but less fun when you're the one stuck inside the plot. Spoiler alert: it's not nearly as cool when the danger's real and there's no pause button.
Now, let me ask you something, If you suddenly saw a glowing character panel float into your vision, what would you do?
Scream and run like a lunatic? Faint dramatically like the heroine in some old-school romance?
Yeah… not me.
I just stared at it. Mouth slightly open. Brain completely offline. Like an idiot.
Look, I'm 14. I still get nervous ordering my own food. So when a video-game-style interface popped up in the middle of math class, I didn't scream. I didn't run. I just sat there, blinking at it, trying to remember whether I'd accidentally inhaled marker fumes.
Here's what I saw:
Kyle – Level 3
Grade: 9th Grade Student (Not That Bright 😎)
STR: 7
INT: 7
WIS: 7
DEX: 9 (Nimble hands—excellent for stealing snacks from Mom)
VIT: 8
LUK:10
Yeah. Real flattering. I mean, the system gave me a whole 7 for Intelligence and followed it with an emoji. Rude.
And can we talk about that "Level 3"? Like I'm three steps above a tutorial NPC. Great. Just great.
At first, I figured I was just sleep-deprived. Too much caffeine, too many late-night dungeon-crawler marathons, and a complete disregard for anything resembling a bedtime. I thought my brain was just throwing a fit.
Then a glowing blue window floated over my math teacher's head. It said:
Mr.Alge Lv:9 Math Teacher
"Potential Threat: Low-Level Miniboss. Weak to Sarcasm."
That's when I realized I'd crossed the line between "mildly tired" and "possibly cursed."
So yeah. Either I've been chosen by some cosmic game master with a weird sense of humor, or I'm going full-on bonkers with bonus hallucinations. Either way, buckle up. Things are about to get seriously weird.
My mind was basically doing cartwheels outside of my body, which, under normal circumstances, might've been fine. But try telling that to Mr. Alge.
Correction: Mr. Alge, destroyer of joy and ruiner of daydreams.
"Mr. Kyle," he said, voice dripping with the kind of glee only evil villains and math teachers possess.
"Please stand up and answer the question."
Great. I stood up slowly, still reeling from the digital delusion floating in my eyes. Mr. Alge's eyes lit up. He had spotted fresh prey.
"Please explain the problem on the whiteboard," he said, clearly expecting my total academic annihilation.
I finally dragged my brain back into my body and glanced at the board. Thank the math gods,it was a problem I actually knew. I walked up, scribbled the remaining steps, and finished it off.
Mr. Alge's expression soured like he'd bitten into a lemon, but he gave a stiff nod.
"Correct. You may sit."
I slinked back to my seat.
"Hey… not bad,"
Jimmy muttered from the desk beside mine.
I just nodded, trying to act cool, even though my heart was still doing double jumps.
Ding.
A soft chime echoed in my ears, and a message flashed across my vision:
"Congratulations! You correctly answered the Miniboss's question. +1 Intelligence."
Wait what?! That's a thing?
I quickly thought open panel, and boom there it was.
Kyle – Level 3
Class: 9th Grade Student (Not Exactly Honor Roll Material 😎)
STR: 7
INT: 8
WIS: 7
DEX: 9 (Snack Ninja Hands)
VIT: 8
LUK: 10
So now answering math questions boosts my stats? I might actually start paying attention in class.
Maybe?
Nah...probably not.
But of course, the problem wasn't going away. Because that would've been too easy, right?
Second period rolled in like a punishment quest, and it was time for English class. Luckily, Ms. Norma was the kind of teacher who dressed like a ninja librarian and moved just as quietly. The woman could sneak up on you like a ghost in cardigans but today, her stealthiness worked in my favor.
Her silence gave my not-so-genius brain a chance to think.
First things first. Should I tell someone about all this? A teacher? A guidance counselor? Maybe my parents?
Yeah… no.
Absolutely not.
They already think I'm a little weird,okay, a lot weird and telling them I'm seeing glowing game windows would basically lock me into the "needs serious help" category. Best case scenario? I get a therapist. Worst case? A padded room and no Wi-Fi.
So no ...thanks. I'll just deal with this on my own.
Besides, how bad could it get?
(Yes, I realize asking that question basically guarantees everything will get worse. But give me a break I'm still new at this.)
I actually tried paying attention in English class. Like, seriously. For a solid five minutes, I gave it my all—nodded at the right times, underlined a few metaphors, even raised my hand once.
And… nothing.
No ding. No floating "+1 Intelligence" notification. My Intelligence stat was still stuck at a majestic 8. A whole one point above average. Yay.
Hmm… how does this thing work?
Does it only reward me for surviving boss fights disguised as math problems? Or maybe it's just messing with me for fun.
Honestly, the longer this goes on, the more I start wondering:
Am I hallucinating?
I mean, that would explain a lot. Like the floating text, the pop-up windows, the sudden obsession with stats like I'm stuck in a light novel.
But no ... if I was hallucinating, wouldn't I at least be imagining something cooler? Like laser eyes or dragon powers? Not +1 INT for surviving math class.
No. I need proof. Concrete, undeniable, not-just-in-my-head proof that this system is real.
Because if I'm going crazy, I want to know now preferably before it assigns me a "Defeat the Lunch Lady" quest.
So I kept testing.
I really concentrated. Like, deep thinking, monk-level focus. I thought so hard, steam probably came out of my ears.
For the first time in my life, I was genuinely trying to be smart not for grades, not for approval just to see if this weird floating stat system would notice.
Nothing.
No ding. No +1 INT. Nada.
And that's when it hit me: Stat increases? They're not proof. You can't feel smarter. There's no IQ meter in your eyeballs.
I mean, what does an extra point of Wisdom even do? Help me give better life advice? Predict the weather?
No. If I was going to prove this thing was real, I needed something measurable. Something I could track.
Strength.
Now that's a stat I can test. Go to a gym, lift something heavy, record it. If I can double my lifting power in a couple of days, that's solid evidence. That's science. That's the kind of proof even the school counselor couldn't ignore.
But then came the real question:
How do I increase Strength?
Was I supposed to grind like in games? Do push-ups until my arms fall off? Fight sewer rats and collect EXP?
(Please no sewer rats. I've seen what they do in video games. I'm not trying to get the plague.)
I needed a plan. A real one. Something safe. Controlled. Preferably rat-free.
And for once, I was kind of excited about PE class.
Time flies, and suddenly—it's lunch break.
Problem? Yeah. A new one.
Now, in the top-right corner of my vision, I can see bars. Like, actual semi-transparent status bars floating in my field of view, like I'm wearing invisible gamer glasses. Three of them.
Red. Blue. Green.
Red's gotta be HP, every game ever uses red for health. Blue? MP, obviously. You know, mana points because I'm definitely a wizard now. Totally.
But the green one? No clue.
Stamina? Sanity? Social awkwardness meter?
I tried focusing on it, and just like before, the numbers snapped into view like my brain unlocked a hidden feature.
HP : 180/180
MP : 180/180
SP : 175/180
SP? I guessed Stamina Points. Unless it stood for Spaghetti Power—which, honestly, wasn't too far off considering it was almost lunchtime and I was running purely on spite and protein bars.
Still, this was new. The system was evolving. Before, it was just panels and pop-ups. Now? I had a real-time HUD. Like I'd just unlocked the Heads-Up Display DLC on my own eyeballs.
Naturally, I opened my full status window to see if anything else changed.
Sure enough, there it was:
Kyle – Level 3
Class: 9th Grade Student (Still not expelled)
HP: 180/180
MP: 180/180 (How do I even have this?!)
SP: 175/180 (Spaghetti Power still unconfirmed)
STR: 7
INT: 8
WIS: 7
DEX: 9
VIT: 8
LUK: 10
...
ATK: 7
DEF: 8
EVA: 10
No new stat points, but now I had more numbers to stress over. I didn't even know how to use most of them yet. I mean, having a magic bar when I've never cast a spell? That's like being handed a lightsaber with zero Jedi training. Cool, yes. Safe? Absolutely not.
Also, I can now see "ATK," "DEF," and "EVA." I'm guessing that's Attack, Defense, and Evasion. Which is great... except I haven't even attacked a squirrel yet. What am I supposed to do, throw pinecones at them and hope my stats kick in?
Also: what happens if one of these bars hits zero?
Because I have questions. And I have a feeling I'm not going to like the answers.
If I was gonna be a hero—or whatever the heck I was turning into—I had to face the real trial of the day:
The school cafeteria.
I took my tray, loaded with food that looked like it had been cooked by someone legally banned from seasoning, and made my way to the corner table. My usual spot. Safe. Quiet. Mostly ketchup-free.
I stared down at the tray like it might attack me.
Mystery meat, beige mashed potatoes, and some green thing that could either be broccoli or a tragic science experiment. Even the pudding looked nervous.
Still, I picked up the fork. Heroic, I know.
I poked at the food. Sniffed it. Contemplated my life choices.
That's when it happened.
Ding.
The now-familiar chime echoed in my skull. A bright blue window popped up right in front of my tray:
New Skill Acquired: Appraisal
You've stared at suspicious food long enough to unlock the ability to identify things before they kill you.
Another window popped in under it:
Target: Unappetizing Canteen Food
Effect: Stamina +3
Status: Questionable. Possibly alive.
I blinked. Twice.
"You've gotta be kidding me," I muttered.
Apparently, even the system thought this food was sketchy. But hey—Stamina +3 just for eating. That's not so bad right?
I took one brave bite. It didn't kill me.
Yet.
So, let's recap. I now have:
A floating status bar in my eyeballs.
A stat panel like I'm in a video game.
A skill called Appraisal unlocked by glaring at lunch.
Either I'm going insane in the most elaborate way possible…
Or my life is leveling up, one awkward moment at a time.
Then Jimmy showed up.
As usual.
We're not part of any school group. Not jocks, not theater kids, not even full-on nerds. We're more like… NPCs. Background characters in everyone else's high school drama. The guys who coast through life unnoticed, blending into desks and group projects like furniture.
I've known Jimmy since second grade. He's one of the few people I can talk to without feeling like I'm in an awkward interview.
"Hey, Kyle. You good?" he asked, sliding his tray across from mine. "You've got that detached from reality look again. Late-night gaming binge?"
"Something like that," I mumbled.
"Mind's not exactly in my body right now."
"I feel that, bro," Jimmy said, nodding like a philosopher.
"Existential drift. Happens to the best of us."
We ate in silence for a minute. This was normal for us. Comfortable, even. Two background characters vibing at lunch.
But what wasn't normal?
The floating window that appeared above Jimmy's head.
Yup. Another translucent pop-up, hovering just above his messy hair like a glitch in my vision.
[Jimmy Ashfang Brown – Level 3]
I stared. Blinked. Stared harder.
Nope. Still there.
[Jimmy "Ashfang" Brown – Level 3]
Title: Awkward Teenager (Certified)
HP: 197/200
SP: 155/170
Middle Name: Classified nonsense. Possibly a demonic pact. Definitely regrettable.
I still had no idea where "Ashfang" came from. Was it his vampire LARP phase? A forgotten MMO username? A result of that one time he sneezed during a Latin chant? Nobody knew. He wasn't telling. And honestly, I wasn't sure I wanted to know.
"Are you okay?" Jimmy asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You're looking at me like I grew a second head. Did I grow a second head?"
"No," I muttered.
"Worse. I think my brain just upgraded again."
Because now? I could see other people's levels. Their stats. Their titles.
This wasn't a game anymore.
This was real or was it?
And it was getting more complicated by the minute.
Then I heard it the all too familiar notification chime. That sweet little sound that meant chaos was inbound.
A blue window floated into view like it was casually ruining my lunch:
URGENT QUEST UNLOCKED!
Objective: Save School Beauty [Mina Yamada] from a banana-related accident.
She will fall 3 feet away from your location in: 1 minute 36 seconds.
Reward: Proof of the Almighty System's Existence.
Failure: Eternal Doubt. Mild Guilt. Regret-flavored dreams.
My brain short-circuited.
Am I losing it again?
Did my "insanity stat" level up? Is that a thing?
Or… was this finally the proof I needed?
I froze. Sat perfectly still in my chair like one of those ancient stone guardians at a temple entrance. Except way more awkward. Time ticked down like a bomb in my vision.
Let me tell you: 1 minute 36 seconds is not long when you're doing literally anything else. But when you're just waiting for gravity to attack a pretty girl?
That's an eternity.
At exactly T-minus 10 seconds, Mina Yamada—the school beauty herself—came strolling down the cafeteria lane with her tray, laughing with her picture-perfect friends. Like it was just another day in the anime.
And then—oh, fate. Sweet, glitchy fate.
I spotted the banana peel.
Launched by none other than Reggie, the resident school bully and part-time banana artillery specialist. The guy couldn't aim if you taped a laser pointer to his forehead.
But this time…
The peel landed right in Mina's path.
3…
2…
1…
Her foot hit the slick spot, her tray wobbled, and time slowed down.
Instinct kicked in. I jumped from my seat like a caffeine fueled ninja and caught her just before she faceplanted into pudding flavored disaster.
Screams echoed around us, hers, her friends', maybe mine a little bit.
She blinked at me from my arms, hair a little tousled but otherwise unharmed.
"Th-thanks," she muttered, cheeks pink. Then she turned and glared laser beams at Reggie, who suddenly remembered he had somewhere else to be.
I returned to my seat. My heart still pounding.
So yeah. I had saved the school beauty from banana-related doom.
Cool cool cool. No big deal.
Just one question remained:
Was that definite proof of the system?
Or just really dramatic luck?
Ding.
Another notification popped into my vision, just as I sat down and tried to look like I hadn't just gone full anime protagonist.
Quest Complete!
School Belle Saved
Favor +1
You have earned a new title:
"Savior of School Belle from Banana."
Equipping this title grants: DEX +1.
Because catching falling girls in public requires exceptional reflexes and a complete disregard for social anxiety.
"Are you serious?"
I muttered under my breath, rubbing my temples.
Jimmy leaned over with a chicken nugget halfway to his mouth.
"What now? Did your brain glitch again?"
"No," I sighed.
"Worse. I just got rewarded for banana-based heroism."
He stared. I stared back.
"...I need context," he said.
"No, you don't."
Still, I couldn't help but mentally equip the title.
Title Equipped: Savior of School Belle from Banana
[DEX +1 Applied]
And yeah, I felt it. A tiny jolt, like someone installed an extra microsecond of reaction time in my muscles. It was small, but real.
Which meant all of this—the stats, the system, the floating windows, the weird magical banana physics—wasn't just in my head.
It was happening.
And I had no idea why.
Or where it would go next.
But apparently, my first legendary title involved cafeteria product.
Character Status – Kyle
Level: 3
Title Equipped: Savior of School Belle from Banana
Grade: 9 (Not That Bright… But Getting There)
Class: Confused Teenager with a HUD
HP: 180/180
MP: 180/180
SP: 180/180
Strength: 7
Intelligence: 8 (+1 from answering Mr. Alge's math trap)
Wisdom: 7
Dexterity: 10 (+1 from banana save title ... By the way nice catch)
Vitality: 8
Luck: 10
Sanity: [Redacted. Probably low.]
Att: 7
Def: 8
Eva: 10
Skills:
Appraisal Lv. 1 – Can identify basic info about objects and people.
Passive: System Awareness – System windows are visible. Whether that's a gift or a curse is still undecided.
Quest Log:
[COMPLETED] Save School Belle from Banana Peel
[ONGOING] Figure Out If I'm Crazy or Chosen