So there I was.
A fresh, dumb Hollow with a bone mask, standing in the middle of Hueco Mundo's never-ending white desert, having just licked a rock and yelled at a boulder.
And I wasn't even close to done.
Current EP: 235 / 10,000.
I needed to pick up the pace.
That's when I saw it.
Off in the distance, standing tall and smug, was a cactus.
Okay — not really a cactus.
More like a weird spiny plant sticking out of the sand, probably dead for a hundred years. But in my eyes, it was a worthy opponent. The king of this particular patch of sand.
I pointed dramatically.
"You and me, green boy!"
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Challenging a plant to single combat — +100 EP]
Current EP: 335 / 10,000
Alright, cactus. Let's dance.
I sprinted toward it, roaring like a maniac. A few nearby Hollows watched, heads tilting in confusion.
One of them started gnawing on his own hand. I made a mental note to avoid him.
As I neared my target, I leapt into the air — or at least, what counted as a leap for a clumsy rookie Hollow — and performed a wildly ungraceful somersault midair.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Attempted an acrobatic attack without knowing how to flip — +150 EP]
Current EP: 485 / 10,000
I landed shoulder-first into the cactus.
Needles went everywhere.
It hurt like hell.
"GRUOOOHHH!!"
(Worth it!)
I staggered back, half my mask dented, needles sticking out of my shoulder.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Headbutted a cactus — +200 EP]
Current EP: 685 / 10,000
The plant fell over with a soft plop.
Victory.
I raised my arms in triumph as the other Hollows gave confused, half-hearted howls in my direction.
I was making a name for myself.
A name nobody would remember because they didn't speak human words, but it counted.
I decided to take a victory lap, running in circles around the fallen cactus.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Celebrating like an idiot — +50 EP]
Current EP: 735 / 10,000
"GRUOHOOOH!"
(Yeah baby! Who's the king now?!)
Then I tripped again, faceplanting into a sand dune.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Faceplanted for comedic effect — +75 EP]
Current EP: 810 / 10,000
I lay there a moment, half-buried in the sand, thinking about life.
And by life, I mean what dumb thing I could do next.
Then I had it.
An idea so monumentally stupid it might just work.
I would build a sand sculpture.
Of myself.
And challenge it to a fight.
Hueco Mundo wasn't ready for this level of brainless ambition.
"GRUOH!"
(Let's do this!)
And with that, I started scooping sand into a vaguely Hollow-shaped pile, humming a tune I made up on the spot.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Declared war on your own sand statue — +150 EP]
Current EP: 960 / 10,000
Almost a thousand.
I was getting there.
The other Hollows were still watching.
One had fallen over. Another was trying to eat the fallen cactus.
A third was spinning in circles for no reason.
Ah. I was starting a trend.
Hueco Mundo's first Stupidity Movement.
Kenta, the idiot revolutionary.
[EP: 960 / 10,000]