CHAPTER 381 - A MOTHER
JAY-JAY POV
Maybe I should apply to be a guard. How much do they earn? Can you afford my greed?
I've been watching over Mom for a while now. I followed her from the laundry area, to the kitchen, the bedroom, and even the bathroom. She looked disgusted with me.
"Why don't you just shut up in a corner?" She asked, clearly annoyed. "You've been following me around nonstop."
"I'm watching you. You might suddenly disappear."
She raised an eyebrow. "Where would I go?"
The police might just suddenly pick you up.
"Maybe you and your ex will get back together," I answered, and she quickly frowned.
"Why would I go back to your dad?"
I squinted. "I'm talking about Andy."
She immediately turned around and continued vacuuming her room. Okay, just a little more—pretend you're not thinking about Dad. A little more... grind it.
Wait a minute, let me trip you up.
"What do you like about him?" I asked, but she didn't answer. "Come on, I'm just asking."
"He's kind, he accepted me even though I already have a child, I don't expect anything from him, and most of all, he loves me."
"DAD?" I asked, shocked.
She widened her eyes. "I'm talking about Andy."
"I thought you meant Dad."
She went back to what she was doing, and I laughed. I let her finish before I spoke again. Maybe she'll fall in love with me and throw the vacuum out of nowhere.
It didn't take her long. She pulled the vacuum plug from the socket and leaned it against the corner. Then she turned to the bed and began adjusting the sheets and other things she had moved to clean.
"But do you still love him?" I asked, and she shot me a dirty look.
I showed her I was serious so she'd know I wasn't joking.
That's what she thought.
"Maybe, yes—"
"DAD?" I interrupted, and she almost threw the pillow at me.
"You little pest! Go outside!"
"I was just asking. Why are you so grumpy? Are you menopausal?"
She sighed. "Don't you have anyone else to bother? I'm the one you decided to visit?"
"No. Kuya's asleep, Aries is busy, and Tita Gema went out with Tito Julz."
"Go review. You have an exam, right?"
I smiled widely. "Don't worry about that. I'm too smart for the exam."
"Your arrogance, damn it," she muttered without looking at me. "Must be inherited."
She must've thought I didn't hear that last part. I immediately jumped onto the bed after she fixed the sheets.
"Who did I inherit it from? You? Or Papa?"
She looked exhausted. She clearly didn't want to answer, but I wasn't going to stop.
She continued fixing things in the room. Then she turned to her cabinet and started arranging clothes.
"Come on, who did I inherit it from?"
She ignored me, so I repeated the question louder. "WHO DID I INHERIT IT FROM?"
She seemed irritated. "To be naughty? From your father."
"From Dad? I don't believe that."
"You're crazy. You asked and then you don't believe my answer."
I almost laughed. That's exactly how I talk too.
"What did Papa do for you to call him naughty?"
"He kept coming back to the cafeteria where I worked. He only bought one piece of candy each time—he just wanted to know my name."
I stopped laughing out loud. My dad is very strict. Yes, it's like I inherited my nastiness from him.
From my Father.
I stared at Mama for a moment. Maybe if Papa didn't have a wife, maybe they would've been fine. Maybe we would be whole now, and Aries and I would have grown up together. Maybe Mama wouldn't have killed Rodrigo, and she wouldn't have gone to jail. If only they had met before Papa got married.
Even though she was pregnant with Aries, Papa still managed to like her. I sat down, hugging the pillow. Mama's expression changed when she saw Aries' dad. If I had known what he did to Mama, I wouldn't have brought him home.
"Mom, are you still mad at me for bringing Aries' dad here?" I asked.
She paused for a moment and looked at me. "No. Why should I be angry with you?"
"I heard you and Aunt Gema. I know what that man did to you."
She let go of the clothes she was holding and didn't take her eyes off me.
"And—"
"Get out, Jay. I'm going to rest," she interrupted before I could finish.
I guess I shouldn't have said I knew.
I bit my bottom lip before quickly standing up and leaving her room. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have told her what I heard.
She really doesn't want to tell me the truth about what happened to her and why she can't come to me. What else could the animal that is Aries' father have done? It's like I made her suffer even more with what I did.
I don't even know why I told her. Maybe… maybe I also want her to open up to me. Maybe we can at least have a little connection. She did say she wants us to get along.
Still trying to connect. She doesn't want to tell me how hard this is.
"Jay?" Aries called out when he saw me. "Why do you look like that? You look like you've been bullied."
"Because I'm annoyed."
"Have you eaten yet?" he asked, and I looked at him with irritation.
It's okay to ask.
Is food the immediate solution to my problem? Do I look that hungry to him? "I wish I could invite you to eat outside. I bet there's no more threat to your life now that Ram is gone," he said, and my face lit up.
He's right. There's still Keifer's dad, but he's been quiet lately and hasn't visited the hospital. So I guess it's safe to go out. And let's be honest—nothing can stop a hungry person.
I nodded at him. "Alright, let's go. I need it."
He laughed a little and shook his head. I said I'd just grab my phone and wallet. Even if it's empty, I still want to bring it. When I came back, he was gone, so I went straight to the living room, where he stood near the door.
"Let's go for a bike ride," he said, and I nodded.
We took my bike out from the garage together. He checked it to see if there were any problems. I hadn't used it in a while.
"Aren't the tires flat?" I asked, pressing one of the wheels.
"Nope. Let's go," he said while holding the bike.
He was the one who opened the gate and rode first, then pointed at his back to tell me to hop on. I did, and he immediately started pedaling.
It was noon. There were a lot of cars on the road because of rush hour. Luckily, Aries was good at avoiding them and always stayed alert. I, on the other hand, kept looking behind us. I even saw a car driver smiling at me like a fool. He was trying to act cute, but he looked like a living corpse.
I just gave him a dirty look and watched his car pass.
We arrived at the mini-mart. We joined the crowd and waited a bit before entering. Most of the shoppers were students from different schools. They were so tall, it was hard to tell if they were grade schoolers or high school students like us.
I think the other students were college students because of their familiar ID lanyards. As far as I know, Mini Mart is far from the university—how did they end up all the way out here? That's quite a distance to come.
"That's Pre, from HVIS. Take her number," I heard one guy say to his companion. They were both college students and were looking at a group of our female schoolmates approaching.
I know the other year levels still have classes because our exam schedules aren't the same.
"That's a minor idiot."
"I'll agree with that. The HVIS students are still walking," replied the other one, and they both laughed.
I couldn't help but glare at them. I don't know exactly what they mean by "pre-walk," but the way they laughed made it sound like an insult.
I think they're idiots.
"Jay," Aries called out, pulling my attention away. "Stop staring—you might start a fight."
"Because they are," I replied, pointing at the college students. "They said the HVIS students were told to walk. What does that even mean?"
His brows furrowed, but he quickly composed himself. He looked at the college students for a moment, then turned back to me and pulled me away.
"Just ignore them. Pick what you want," he said.
I was about to protest, but I saw another wave of students arriving outside. It'd be hard to shop if it got too crowded. So I just grabbed what I wanted and walked around the Mini Mart for a while.
After getting everything I needed, I returned to Aries. I saw him holding his phone, looking like he had just taken a picture. He was typing something on it. I looked over to see who he might've taken a picture of, but I only saw the group of college students nearby.
Why would he take a picture of them? Is he an artist?
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Nothing. Just reporting them to someone who can do something about it," he replied with a sigh.
He handed me the basket he was holding so I could add my stuff. I laughed uncontrollably because I had only grabbed large snacks. He had to get another basket for his own things.
Who could he be reporting the college students to? It couldn't be Kuya Angelo—he usually sides with the college students. Unless, of course, they were bothering us.
After picking up everything we wanted, we paid at the counter. I laughed even harder when Aries scratched his head at the total cost of our purchases.
He paid for everything.
As we left the Mini Mart, I saw the college group again. I stared at one of them when I noticed him looking at me, acting all smug like he thought he was handsome.
"Is there any problem?" I heard him ask his friend, pointing at me.
Because of how much we had bought, Aries and I had to walk. I pulled the bike while he carried the bags. I couldn't stop laughing—his arm veins were popping out from the weight of everything he was carrying.
We were quite far already when I suddenly remembered where I'd seen the college students' ID lanyards before. It was during our university visit, the day I saw Papa.
University of Eme.
I still can't remember the exact name of the place. Should I try again?
"Do you want to go home, or should we go to the park first?" Aries asked.
I didn't want to go home yet, so I quickly told him, "The park." We changed our route, but he didn't tell me how far the park actually was from where we were walking.
I was out of breath and still hungry. When we got to the park, the lights were already on. It was still full of people even though it was dark. Luckily, there were some empty benches, so we found a place to sit right away.
"Food, food," I said, grabbing a plastic bag from his hand before sitting down.
I started eating right away. He sat next to me and took out the stuff he had bought. We didn't talk at first—we were both too busy eating. But when the crowd in the park began to thin out, he finally spoke.
"Your mother is going home to the province," he said.
I raised an eyebrow. "Our mother. And why is she going back to the province? She doesn't even have a house there. Where is she going to live? With Grandma?"
"Maybe. I just heard them talking."
I was suddenly shocked. I feel like she's not just going home to the province.
"I thought she wanted us to get along. Why would she leave?"
Aries finished the bread he was holding, then shook the crumbs off his hands. "Maybe she's giving up."
I finished eating and immediately drank the juice that came with what we bought.
I know he's hiding something. I just don't understand why they have to make up a story. Do I look like I was born yesterday? Do they really think I'm that clueless?
"I want to see a psychiatrist," I said, freezing my brother in place.
"Jay?"
"I'm not stupid. I know Mama is facing a case."
He was clearly surprised and was trying not to show it. "Who did you hear that from?"
"I overheard Kuya before. And there's also what he said the first time he brought me to Dr. Claudia," I explained.
I don't plan to tell him that I learned the whole story of Mama's case from Keifer. Maybe that'll just start another fight. They're getting along better little by little, and I don't want to ruin that.
"I know I'm the only one who can help Mama. It has something to do with what happened when I was a child — something I can't remember now. I want to remember, so—"
"Shut up," he cut me off. "Kuya is the only one who wants that, but he doesn't realize that what he's trying to make you do is dangerous."
"So what should I do? Just let it go?"
He sighed. "Exactly."
I washed my face and stood up, taking several deep breaths. I tried to calm myself. I tried not to cry, because I wanted us to understand each other. I tried not to say anything harsh or curse. But I don't know how to stop myself anymore.
I can't just abandon Mom!
"Do you hate our mother so much that you'd let her go to jail?" I asked calmly, though my tears were starting to fall.
"That's not my reason." He bent forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. "I don't know if Kuya is ignoring it, or if he just hasn't realized that the court might not even recognize your statement." His words worried me.
"What? W-Why?"
"Think about it. Do you think the court will accept a statement from someone with mental health issues? I'm not saying you're unstable, but if the other lawyers find a way to portray you that way, they will. They're notorious — when it comes to winning, they'll do whatever they're allowed to. So if they target your personal life and mental health, what if your symptoms get triggered?"
I was stunned. I covered my mouth and sat back down next to Aries. He's right. He's so good at predicting things, he could read fortunes. He even predicted what might happen to me in court.
Amazing. Like a human lotto predictor.
I remembered in telenovelas how lawyers make victims cry in court — even the witnesses get grilled like they're the criminals. I probably couldn't handle it if someone talked to me like that. What if I freeze or snap and get thrown out of court?
"What I'm more worried about," he continued, "is if everything comes back to you all at once — if you remember by force — your mental health might not be able to take it. What if you have a breakdown? What if you completely lose yourself?"
I could feel the worry in his voice.
He's right. If Kuya wants me to remember everything, which is opposite to Aries decision. It's like they're destined to clash.
Death and horoscopes.
An epic battle.
"But I want to help Mama."
"We'll find another way," he said with a smile. "We can still visit a psychiatrist. It's good that we know your illness."
I nodded. "I want to, too. But if we can, let's not tell Big Brother."
He chuckled a little. "We're thinking the same thing."
I smiled and returned to my food. I finished the bread I had picked up. He did the same with the food he bought. He was the first to finish because he only bought a little.
I was forced to leave the rest and just take it home. He also said we should go home since it was getting dark and our phones kept ringing.
We walked. It's hard to ride a bike when you're full.
I glanced at Aries. I remembered what he said—that he would come back for me. I could say he has recovered. But maybe things would be different if he and Mama were okay.
It's worth trying. "Are you really not going to forgive Mama?" I asked, and he looked at me for a moment.
"When it comes to forgiveness, I've already forgiven her," he replied, and my mouth formed a small "oh."
So he forgave Mama—then why aren't they talking properly?
"You forgave—"
"I forgave her for what she did to me. But not for neglecting you," he interrupted. "If she had been practical and adopted us both, that wouldn't have happened to you. The people she was with wouldn't have hurt you."
He doesn't know. He doesn't know what Mama did to protect me.
I wanted to yell at Aries and tell him about Mama's sacrifice. He has no right to say that about her. If only he knew, maybe he wouldn't talk that way.
If only I could tell him, but I chose not to speak. I don't want to be led again, like I told Mama earlier. Maybe we just share the same heart. So I'll choose to stay silent about what she did.
But when the time is right, I will make my brother understand.
"It's been a long time... if I'm ready to forgive her, maybe it's time for you to try too."
He raised an eyebrow at me. It's starting all over again.
"What's gotten into you that now you're planning to forgive her? When you argue with her, it's like you're the one who gave birth to her."
I winced.
Maybe it does seem strange to suddenly change my mind. But I won't deny that sometimes, my anger still comes back—flooding in like a wave. Maybe if I forgive her, that will finally go away.
"Don't you feel that longing to be with your mother? It's hard to explain... but there's that feeling that no matter how big her mistakes are, you still don't want her gone from your life," I said.
"People who get cheated on by their partners feel the same thing."
My eyes widened, and he laughed. Was he really comparing my explanation to cheating?
"I'm just kidding… yeah, I know what you mean. I used to feel that way too. But sometimes, that longing fades as we grow up and realize that not all our ties to our parents are meant to be kept."
I could feel there really was no hope for him and Mama to be okay again. I couldn't help but feel sad. They've been through so much. Maybe a second chance is possible.
I had to insist. "Maybe it's better to try. At least once."
He shook his head. "No."
I tried again. "You know, the Bible says, 'Honor your parents.'"
He laughed loudly. "Not you quoting Bible verses when you don't even fully understand them."
"I'm right."
"Yeah, you are. But honoring someone isn't a free pass to abuse or tolerance. Believe me, I can honor her while keeping my boundaries."
I snorted. It's hard to convince my brother. After all, if Kuya isn't pushy, what else can I do? I still want to hope that they have a chance to be okay again.
But with Aries' attitude, maybe there's no point in hoping. We arrived at the house and were greeted by a frowning Brother Angelo.
"Ram just disappeared, and now you two won't stop chatting!"
So annoying. I thought he slept the whole day since he said he needed rest—but here he is, with enough energy to scold us.
Aries and I entered the house together. I was about to knock on Mama's room when I noticed Aunt Gema's medicine and a glass by the door.
"Jay, don't disturb your Mama. She's not feeling well."
I couldn't help but feel sad. Why do I feel like it's my fault?