'I think I'm dying.'
That thought came to him somewhere between the 200th back-to-back episode and his fourth bowl of instant ramen.
His eyes were bloodshot, his mouth dry, and his body numb from hours of immobility. But none of it mattered—because Naruto and Sasuke had just sealed Kaguya, and he needed to see what happened next.
Sleep? Who needs it?
Water? Later.
Life? Apparently optional.
The screen blurred as the world tilted. The iconic "To be continued…" echoed in his ears before everything faded to black.
"Fuck… I was right. I really am dying."
Akira Ryujin let out a shaky breath, a strange sense of calm washing over him.
"I just hope hell doesn't exist… because with the amount of Tsunade stuff I've fapped to, I'd have a first-class ticket there."
He chuckled weakly at his own morbid humor.
For the first time in years, he felt… peace.
Akira Ryujin hated his life more than anything.
It wasn't always like this.
He had been an orphan since birth, tossed aside before he could even crawl. But somehow, he'd managed to rise above it all. He clawed his way out of the gutter, built a good life—a damn good life. A high-paying job. A beautiful, loving wife. Everything a man could ever want.
But Akira's life took a complete 180 when he discovered his wife had been cheating on him. The betrayal hit hard, and things only got worse—she filed for divorce and accused him of domestic violence.
Although the court found him innocent of all charges, the damage was done. He still had to surrender 70% of everything he owned as alimony and compensation for the mental distress she claimed he caused.
But the aftermath was even worse. Due to that case, Akira's reputation was completely tarnished, and no company wanted to be associated with him. He was fired from his job and couldn't apply anywhere else.
But that was all in the past. For the last two years, Akira's life had been complete shit.
Wake up in the morning.
Eat a cup of ramen.
Watch shows and anime.
Fap twice.
Eat another cup of ramen.
Then go to sleep.
It was the same cycle again and again—and this death? It was the peace he had always wanted.
At least, that's what he thought...
Instead of everything going blank—or being welcomed by a horned demon or a smug angel—Akira found himself still staring at the blue sky.
Wait. 'Sky?'
"What the fuck…?" Akira muttered, sitting up. His body didn't creak, groan, or protest in pain. No numb limbs. No neck cramps. No belly swollen from overprocessed junk.
He touched his face. No acne—just clear, smooth skin. His hair was tied in a ponytail, no sign of baldness like his old body.
He looked at his clothes. He was wearing some kind of jumpsuit, with kunai and shuriken in a pouch tied near his thigh.
He could feel his abs even through his jacket.
"Okay. Either I died and reincarnated… or this is one hell of a fever dream."
Akira stood up, looking around to understand where he was.
There was grass swaying in the wind as far as he could see.
Finally, he saw someone—something—coming toward him at unbelievable speed.
One moment, the figure wasn't even in view, and the next—
WHOOSH!
Wind exploded past him as a blur of motion stopped just a few feet away, kicking up a cloud of dirt and grass.
Akira stumbled back, heart slamming against his ribs.
Standing before him was a man wearing a black mask and green jacket. His outfit looked oddly familiar, but as soon as Akira looked at his headband, he instantly realized where he was.
'Wait. I have to make sure. I could be seeing things.'
Akira rubbed his eyes and took another firm look. No doubt about it—that was the headband Shinobi from the Leaf Village wore.
"Hey kid, what are you doing out here in the wild?"
Those words snapped Akira back to reality and made him realize this was actually happening.
"Oh—oh, nothing," Akira stammered back, trying his best to sound calm.
"State your villag—" the man paused mid-sentence. He stepped closer, looked over Akira's entire body, and his tone completely changed.
Suddenly, the man's demeanor shifted—less formal, more casual, even friendly.
"You're from the Leaf Village," he said, eyes glancing at the headband on Akira's forehead.
Akira blinked. "Huh?"
Instinctively, he reached up and felt the cool press of metal against his skin.
Clink.
His fingers traced the engraved symbol—the iconic leaf swirl.
His eyes widened. 'No way…'
"You alright?" the man asked, raising an eyebrow. "You look like you've never seen a forehead protector before."
"I… yeah. Just a little lightheaded. Must've hit my head or something," Akira muttered quickly, trying to play it cool.
The man gave a short chuckle. "Wouldn't be the first time a rookie took a blow to the head. You're a genin, right?"
Akira nodded slowly. "Yeah. Genin."
But the man's gaze lingered on him a little too long. His friendly smile faded ever so slightly.
"Alright then," he said, crossing his arms. "If you're from the Leaf… what's the name of our Hokage?"
'Shit. Time to think fast.'
'Fuck—I don't know what time period this is…'
If Naruto's the Hokage, then it's post-war—maybe even the Boruto timeline. But if it's during the Shippuden arc, then Tsunade's still in charge. Before that, it was the old man, Hiruzen…
'Come on, Akira, think. THINK.'
He glanced at the man subtly. He didn't look too futuristic. No advanced tech. Still rocking flak jackets and a classic mask...
Alright. Best bet? Play it safe. Pick the one with the longest term who'd still make sense here.
"Hiruzen Sarutobi," Akira said, closing his eyes as he prepared himself for the worst if his answer was wrong.
There was a pause.
The man's eyes narrowed slightly… and then he nodded.
"Good. And your favorite food spot in the village?"
Okay, safe territory. Deep breath.
"Ichiraku," he said, feigning a half-smile. "Teuchi-san's miso pork is kind of legendary."
The man let out a small laugh. "You sound like that brat Naruto."
'Jackpot.'
"Yeah well, he talks loud enough for the whole village to hear," Akira replied with a smirk, trying to sound natural.
"True enough," the man said, relaxing a bit. "One last thing. Who was your jonin squad leader?"
'Oh fuck. What do I say here? Should I make up a name? Risky…'
'No, wait—if I say I hit my head and I'm still foggy, maybe he won't press further.'
"I… don't remember," Akira admitted, rubbing his forehead. "It's all kind of fuzzy. I just remember the food and faces, not the names. Maybe I took a harder hit than I thought."
The man stared at him for a few seconds, then nodded slowly. "Yeah… could be a concussion."
'He actually believed me.'
Akira exhaled silently, tension easing from his shoulders.
"Name's Satoshi," the man said, offering a hand. "Chunin patrol. Was sweeping the area for rogue activity. You're lucky I found you."
Akira took his hand, shaking it firmly. "Akira Ryujin. Genin… I guess."
Satoshi chuckled. "Well, let's get you back to the village. Medic-nin can check your head, and maybe your squad's looking for you."
Akira followed beside him, the grass swaying under their feet as the wind picked up.
He couldn't believe it—but somehow, some way…
He was actually in the Naruto world.
'I still can't believe I'm really here!' Akira thought, pinching himself.
'Yup. That felt real.'
A sense of excitement taking over him.
'Wait—why am I getting excited? This world is pretty fucked. I better avoid dangers if I want to live my life to the fullest here.'
As Akira continued following Satoshi, the main entrance of the Leaf Village finally came into view.