WHOOSH!
Su Chen shot up like a cork from a wine bottle, floating on the surface of the pond with his arms spread wide like he was posing for a painting titled "Cultivator Resurrection."
"Hey… hey you, lowly human! Can't you hear me?! Get out of MY pond!" a sharp voice barked.
"Huh?" Su Chen cracked open an eye.
Still lying flat like a corpse, he lifted his head lazily—and then froze.
On the bank, drenched and puffed up with righteous fury, sat a fat black crow. And it had just spoken.
"…A talking crow?" Su Chen blinked slowly. He'd seen many weird things in this world—like a tree that gave advice,but this one still caught him off guard.
The bird fluffed his feathers smugly. "Hmph! Surprised? Never seen a handsome golden crow before? Want to become my human pet? I might consider it—if you beg."
Su Chen stared at him blankly, then slowly sat up in the water, Qi keeping him afloat like a bored cultivator-shaped boat. His expression darkened.
"You ugly bird. Shameless. You feathered fraud," Su Chen snapped. "What 'golden crow'? You're black! BLACK! You look like burnt toast! Don't gaslight me—and you want me to be your pet? Even trash like you has delusions now?"
The crow screeched, flapping his wings in outrage like an offended feather duster.
"You bastard! You filthy hairless monkey! First, you interrupt my sacred spiritual moisturizing bath, and now you dare insult me? You charcoal-colored soul-eater! You—!"
He puffed up like he was about to explode. "Even if you call me a meatball, or a rotisserie chicken, I might forgive you! But UGLY?! That's where I draw the line! You ugly human bitch! You're ugly, your whole family's ugly—your entire race is ugly! Except fairies. Fairies are fine. But you? You're just racist!"
He looked genuinely heartbroken, like Su Chen had just stepped on his dream journal.
"Shut up, you noisy flying meatball," Su Chen snapped back, veins popping on his forehead. "If you don't shut your beak, I'll personally remind you why humans are at the top of the food chain!"
He sounded like a man falsely accused of stealing, now yelling at the real thief.
The crow's eyes widened in bird-like confusion. "What did you just say?! Top of the food chain! Aaaa a..... Blasted ?!"
He launched into the air like an overcaffeinated pigeon. "I'll kill you! Drink your blood! Eat your flesh! Only then can I restore the dignity of birds everywhere!"
Rising dramatically—well, as dramatically as a round crow could—Da Huang flapped his wings furiously. Ten golden Qi feathers shimmered into existence around him, spinning like old fan daiyana making sound.
Su Chen narrowed his eyes. Calm. Annoyed. Tired.
"This damn bird again…"
Fine. If it wanted a beating, he'd oblige.
Maybe it was time to pluck a few feathers.
Without hesitation, he activated his Qi-Sensing Technique, scanning the golden feathers hanging in the air. The analysis came quickly.
Hmm. Not bad. These feathers could definitely take out a middle Foundation Realm cultivator…
But me?
Su Chen glanced at his own body, subtly flexing his fingers.
With my current physique, unless he hits a vital point dead-on, these won't even leave a scratch.
He exhaled slowly,Cracking his neck, Su Chen rose from the water like a vengeful koi dragon, Qi lifting him smoothly into the sky.
Boom!
Da Huang launched his golden Qi feathers with a squawk, slicing through the air like missiles.
Su Chen shot forward to meet them.
He wrapped his hand in Qi and punched one of the incoming feathers head-on while dodging the others. Boom! The impact shattered three of them like glass.He twisted midair, dodging the others with absurd ease.
The rest missed arrow crashed into the pond, splashing water high into the air.
Water exploded in all directions from the impact, but neither Su Chen nor Da Huang stopped. Both shot toward each other again.
BOOM!
They clashed midair like two very angry, very sparkly mascots at war.
Su Chen was pushed back slightly—maybe a foot.
Da Huang? He shot backward like a fat comet, SWISH-SWISH, tumbling end over end before crashing into the waterfall with a dramatic SPLASH.
The impact was so strong, the nearby rocks shook. A few birds flew off in terror. Somewhere, a squirrel dropped its nut in horror.
Su Chen floated midair, sighing.
However, Da Huang didn't stay down for even a second.
"Hehe… human, do you think you've won that easily?" he said in a tight voice, rising back into the air as if nothing had happened.
He flapped his wings hard, trying to look majestic—but there was a tremble in his feathers. Pain laced his voice, but he hid it behind a proud glare. His dignity, it seemed, was tougher than his body.
Su Chen, floating midair, sensed it instantly.
Hmm… did I go too far? he thought, tilting his head. He's just a bird… a very annoying bird, but still a bird. Maybe I overdid it?
He cleared his throat and suddenly softened his tone, his voice turning as sweet and polite as a bank clerk trying to sell you a loan.
"Ahem. How about we don't fight? I mean… really, was it even either of our fault?"
Da Huang hovered suspiciously, flapping in place.
"Hmm… I could agree," he muttered, still puffed up. "But you disturbed my sacred bath, so you have to compensate me somehow."
In truth, he wanted to fight. He wanted to claw this human's face and peck out his hair. But after that punch? That one punch?
Nope. Not today. Unless he used the treasure his parents had given him when he left the clan, he'd get flattened like a steamed bun.
Su Chen scratched his head, his ragged sleeves fluttering.
"Oof… I've got nothing valuable on me," he said, spreading his arms. His robes were tattered, half-burned, and smelled faintly of pond water. "Look at me—I'm one step away from begging on the street."
Then his eyes lit up with sudden inspiration.
"But!" he said, straightening his back and suddenly speaking in a wise, professional tone. "I've learned fortune telling and deduction arts. I can read fate! Karma! Luck! Very useful, very rare!"
His expression had turned into that of a fake Taoist at a tourist trap.