Never thought I'd become one of those people who keep a journal but it helps me process my thoughts and keep my sanity intact.
Not that I'm actually documenting this anywhere. Can't ensure the safety of a physical journal and don't exactly trust computers so I'll keep everything in my mental logs. Not a bad usage of my newly gained perfect memory and I think taking the time to write and reflect on events through these entries will do me a lot of good, I heard a lot of depressed people use this exercise for venting. So here we go.
Now how should I move forward from here? The beginning? Would make the most sense, wouldn't it? Or do I need to provide some background first?
Ugh, I always did struggle in English class when it came to writing an intro and transitioning to the actual story. Didn't think it would apply to my personal journal too. You know what? I'm not doing this for a grade and it's not like someone's going to read it and support me, so who cares. I can write whatever I want. It's my story. I think starting with the beginning is best and I'll try and weave in those extra context clues as well.
Alright. Personal journal entry number one starts now. Where it all began.
…
It's the first day of my summer vacation and last night I stayed up late scrolling through one of my go-to sites for stories to read. I'm a big fan of reading, started when I was young and we couldn't afford to keep the cable running all year-round and over the years it's become an enjoyable pastime for me. From the popular 'Young Adult' novels like 'Holes, The Outsiders, Ender's Game, Hatchet, Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, Monster, Artemis Fowl, The Thief, Redwall, Stormbreaker' when I was younger to more… 'adult' theme ones, works as my interests shifted. Don't judge me. Everyone has some kind dark pleasure.
Anyway, found something interesting to binge and didn't put my phone away until after two in the morning, and as I went to pee before bed, I was already feeling sleeps and knocked over something and had my skull bashed on wash basin at a weird angle, I think I died at that time. My memories are a bit cloudy but I remember I was in some dark space and saw a light coming from far at a very high speed, it was coming towards me and then bam, collision.
I instinctively knew what it was from my new memories. Yes, new memories that I unlocked from my previous life or was it a version of me in a parallel world. I don't know.
The new memories were of a man from his childhood to a 22 year old guy, Lucas. Our names were also the same. He was a normal guy who went to community school, had a few friends in school, never broke rules and studied when it mattered. He graduated High school, and on his graduation day his parents had an accident, they died instantly. He was devastated and depressed but life goes, Lucas didn't contact anyone and broke contact with every one of his friends. Locked himself in a room and spent all his day watching anime, webseries and webnovels to escape from reality. One day, all his inheritance money ran out.
Rather than getting back to society and earning a living, he found it easier to just off himself.
So here I am Original Lucas with memories of a depressed Lucas. But I don't really feel very sad with these memories. I feel sad in a way, when you watch a sad movie but, really it doesn't affect me that much.
So I was understandably confused upon waking up with all these new memories but felt strangely refreshed for a man who slept in his bathroom.
"Huh?" As I wake up without feeling any signs of injury even when I remember falling pretty hard with my skull broke and just as I acknowledge how weird this is, I become aware of information that I have no reason to have. "What the fuck?"
I guess Lucas also gave me something besides his memories, an illness of mind because I saw a screen floating in mid air with stuff written on, It reminded me of a game status page so I suppose the best way to visualize it would be something like this.
[Lucas Reed]
LVL: 19
HP: 39
MP: 52
STR: 4
AGI: 4
END: 3
INT: 6
WIS: 4
LUK: 5
SP: 0
There was more to it than just that though; I had a long list of skills composed of everything I'd ever done in my life. Stuff like various sports, cleaning, singing, etc.; all things I'm familiar with only now the list puts a number beside it as if to say how proficient I am with that skill. How absurd is that?.
Can you believe cooking was one of my higher one's? Thanks Mom.
However, of all these skills, two skills that grabbed my attention were: gamer's body and gamer's mind. From the memories of dead Lucas who was an avid reader of fanfics, I knew how overpowered and important these skills were.
But they were not exactly the same from the fiction as I read their description, but still very useful and unique.
A body gives me a video game character's body with potential for better integration with time, basically means I can look forward to becoming more game-like. Yay. It also comes with faster recovery and the ability to sleep off damage. As for mind, I would summarize it as the ability to regulate myself. It doesn't take away my emotions but it allows me better control over them so they won't be the only guiding force behind my actions. Kind of like some Navy SEAL or something being cool under fire despite whatever fear or tension they're feeling. I got that without having to go through the toughening experiences. Maybe, it was the gamers mind that kept me calm or I would be freaking out by now with whatever was happening.
Pretty sweet starter pack, you know, assuming this is real and I'm not tripping.
And on that note, with hesitant steps I make the short trip to look at my face from the mirror above the dresser. Can't stop the sigh of relief that leaves me then. I'm still me in all my dark haired, grey eyed glory. All my teeth are in place, the top canines didn't suddenly become fangs or anything. No discoloration or new body accessories when I looked at myself over and sighed in relief.
Crisis averted because new powers - supposedly, fingers crossed - are one thing, having physical deformities to go along with those powers is something else entirely. Blame it on all the books I've read or the X-Men movies I've seen but having visible clues that I'm different from every other human is not something I want. Down that path lies discrimination and sharp tools inside sterile labs. I prefer my insides go un-probed thank you very much.