"Lord Rimuru! I just drew the Gourmet Fruit!" Shion exclaimed with stars sparkling in her eyes. "This means my cooking skills are going to level up again!"
"What!?" Rimuru's face went pale, the joy from just receiving the Space Fruit and Origin Flame vanishing faster than soap in a storm. That monstrosity-level cooking of hers—already comparable to biochemical weapons—was about to get buffed!?
"Huh?" Shion tilted her head, confused. "Lord Rimuru, you don't seem happy. Aren't you excited? The things I cook for you are going to taste even better now!"
"Heh, heh heh…" Rimuru forced a smile so stiff it could shatter. "No, no! I'm thrilled... really… I guess?" Inside though, he was panicking. Should I go tear down every kitchen in the country? But knowing her, she'd just cook on a campfire! Ugh, forget it. At least it won't kill me... probably. I'll just call Benimaru and the others to join—suffer together, right? That's it! United we fall.
Completely unaware that a culinary cataclysm was looming, the others were still busy playing with their new powers.
"Well, I'll go experiment with my new ability! Bye-bye, Lord Rimuru!" Shion ruffled his hair cheerfully and skipped off.
As her figure disappeared in the distance, Rimuru could feel a deep sorrow stirring in his heart.
"Gurararara!" Whitebeard laughed thunderously. "Seems fate agrees with me and the Enhanced Tremor-Tremor Fruit! I got it on the first draw!"
"Tch, big deal." Garp scoffed. "Look at my Human-Human Fruit—Titan Form! It's way more badass than yours."
Watching these two bicker like schoolkids over who had the cooler loot, Rimuru could only sigh. Seriously? A bunch of geezers over 50 acting like they're in kindergarten.
Eventually, he left the chaos and returned to the underground chamber beneath his house. It was time to examine the abilities of his new Devil Fruits.
Sitting cross-legged on the floor, Rimuru pulled out the Space Fruit. It resembled a symmetrical polyhedron, as if it had been slashed dozens of times, and was etched with glowing blue runes.
He guided his internal energy into the fruit, channeling it in precisely. As the power was absorbed, the fruit crumbled to ash in his hand.
Immediately, he felt a dramatic change inside him—another one of his inner starfields began to shift.
The entire starfield began to glow with strange lights. When the radiance faded, the scene before him had transformed—each star appeared to be fractured and scattered, floating aimlessly like shards of glass.
But Rimuru could sense clearly—it wasn't the stars that were shattered, it was space itself that had layered and folded over itself, creating an illusion of fragmentation.
He waved his hand gently. Ripples flowed across the air like water. He pressed down, and the space quivered, then settled.
"Amazing." Rimuru grinned. This ability wasn't just strong, it was absurdly practical. Instant teleportation, space slicing, dimensional storage—he could already imagine all kinds of uses.
Next up was the Origin Flame. He brought it out and absorbed it just as he had with the Space Fruit. Immediately, another starfield in his body began to transform—this time erupting in blazing flames. The stars themselves ignited, unleashing energy capable of incinerating everything.
Another grin tugged at Rimuru's lips. This, too, was a monstrous upgrade. His offensive power had skyrocketed. And better yet, the Origin Flame could consume other flames to evolve even further.
I wonder how the others are doing, he thought. Let's check in.
He opened the chat interface.
Rimuru: "Hey everyone, how are your new powers working out?"
Garp: "I just devoured that Titan Fruit. After transforming, I'm a full two hundred meters tall! Whitebeard better start looking up to me! Hahaha!"
Whitebeard: "I don't care if you're two hundred or two thousand meters tall, I'll still beat you down until even your mom doesn't recognize you."
Rimuru: "Can you two knock it off for just one second?"
Benimaru: "I got the Explosion Fruit. My combat power's seen a nice jump. Thank you for your concern, Lord Rimuru."
Hakurou: "I received the Slash Fruit. Doesn't benefit me too much, but it's a fine power regardless."
Veldora: "Mine's called the Fission Fruit or something? Seems I can shoot missiles from my mouth now. Doesn't feel all that impressive though."
The Fission Fruit… Rimuru's eyes twitched. (⊙▽⊙!) Wait, does that mean Veldora's gonna become some kind of walking Godzilla? A literal nuclear dragon??
Sengoku: "You guys got all the good stuff! Why the hell did I end up with the Sweet-Sweet Fruit? What am I supposed to do with this!?"
Everyone immediately imagined the same horrifying image: an enemy stares him down. Sengoku, striking a fabulous pose, smirks and says, "All sins are forgiven because I'm this handsome." Then he blows the enemy a heart-shaped kiss.
Rimuru broke into a cold sweat. Nope. Nope nope nope. That might be the most terrifying scene ever conceived.
Garp: "HAHAHAHA! Sengoku, maybe you should eat it. Imagine that—just blow a kiss and gross your enemy to death. Victory without a single punch!"
Sengoku, his face now darkening to a dangerous shade of violet: "You're dead, Garp. I swear, if I don't pound you into a coma today, I'll start writing my name backward!"
Everyone: "..."
Shion: "Lord Rimuru! I just finished a brand-new recipe. I'm bringing it to you right now!"
Rimuru: "Oh, uh, I just remembered I have something super important to take care of. Yeah, the guild headquarters thing! Super busy the next few days, no time to eat—sorry, gotta run!"
Shion (T_T): "Aww… I can't believe I won't get to serve you my handmade food. But don't worry! I'll make even more for when you get back!"
Doom… absolute doom. Rimuru felt like a prisoner on death row. There would be no escape from this culinary nightmare.
Shion: "So, who else wants to try my new dish today?"
Benimaru: "Ah! I forgot I have some urgent military business to attend to. Excuse me."
Geld: "Uh, I've got a whole row of houses that need repairing—super busy, gotta go!"
Hakurou: "This old man must go practice swordsmanship. Farewell."
Everyone who knew Shion's cooking instantly bolted, finding the lamest but most legitimate-sounding excuses they could.
Still, there were a few brave—or foolish—newcomers who had no idea what doom awaited.
Garp: "You guys aren't eating? Well, count me in!"
Whitebeard: "I'm curious to try her food too. Add me!"
Shion: "No problem! I made lots! Anyone who wants some can come get it anytime!"
No… no one wants it. The others shared a collective moment of silence, mourning the two poor souls.
May they rest in peace.
Amen.
~-------------------------
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