The morning was quiet — unusually so for the Grand Line.
The sea lay calm, a sheet of glass stretching to the horizon. Sunlight shimmered on the gentle waves as the Moby Dick drifted lazily along with the breeze.
Marco stepped onto the deck with a steaming mug of coffee, savoring the rare peace. For once, no rowdy brawls, no cannon blasts, no one wrestling sea monsters off the rails. Just the sound of gulls circling overhead.
Then something fluttered against the mast, catching his eye.
A piece of paper.
Marco squinted, reached for it, and pulled it free.
A wanted poster.
But not just any wanted poster.
Marshall D. Teach
Bounty: 50 Berrie
Title: Whitebeard Pirates' Pet
Crime: Being Ugly
Right in the center was a grainy photo of Teach mid-sob — snot, tears, and all.
For a moment, Marco just stared at it.
Then the first sharp snort escaped.
And before he could stop himself, he burst out laughing, doubling over, clutching his stomach as his coffee splashed onto the deck.
"BAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The sound echoed across the ship.
Somewhere nearby, Fossa poked his head up from below deck, bleary-eyed.
"Oi, Marco! What the hell's so funny?"
Even Whitebeard cracked one eye open from his great chair near the bow.
"What's all the racket, yoi?"
Marco waved the paper in the air, wheezing with laughter. "Pops… you gotta see this."
Whitebeard grumbled, hauling his massive bulk forward to pluck the poster from Marco's hand. His eyes skimmed the page.
And then his booming laughter rocked the entire ship.
"GUHAAHAHAHAHA! WHOEVER DID THIS — I'LL BUY 'EM A DRINK!"
Within minutes, the rest of the crew gathered around, drawn by the commotion.
"Oi, oi — what's goin' on?"
"New bounty?"
When they saw the poster, the deck exploded with laughter.
"Fifty berrie?! That's not even enough to buy a bottle of sake!"
"'Crime: Being Ugly?!' Damn, Teach got done dirty!"
Rakuyo nearly fell over, clutching his sides.
"I'm keepin' this one," someone cackled, already rolling it up like a treasure map.
Then Vista spoke up, squinting at the bottom corner of the poster.
"Wait… look at the stamp."
Everyone leaned in.
The official World Government seal.
Real.
Marco's grin faltered just a little.
"No way… only the Marines and Cipher Pol can issue these."
The laughter slowed.
"So this… this is legit?" Fossa asked, rubbing his chin.
"Legit as it gets," Marco said. "Somebody high up must've pushed this through."
A buzz swept the deck.
"Damn… someone must really hate Teach."
"Or they've got a hell of a sense of humor."
Whitebeard's grin only widened.
"Gurararara… callin' my boy a pet, eh? They tryin' to insult us or make a fool outta him? Either way — it's hilarious!"
Some of the crew started placing bets on how long it'd take before Teach lost his mind.
"Oi! Somebody wake him up already!"
They didn't have to.
Not a minute later, Teach stumbled onto the deck, scratching his head and yawning.
"Zehahaha… what's with all the noise—"
He stopped.
Dead.
His bloodshot eyes darted around.
Posters.
Everywhere.
Tied to ropes, slapped onto barrels, pinned to the mast. Dozens of copies of his ugly, snot-nosed crying face staring back at him.
"What… the… hell is this?!"
The crew howled.
Marco tossed a poster at his chest. "Hey, congrats on the bounty, Teach. You're officially worth fifty whole berrie."
Teach grabbed it, read it — and his face went from confusion, to horror, to murderous rage in the span of two seconds.
"'Whitebeard Pirates' Pet'?! CRIME: BEIN' UGLY?! WHO DID THIS?!"
His scream scattered the gulls from the rails.
"It's government-issued," Marco added with a smirk. "Not us. Maybe Cipher Pol. Or a Vice Admiral with a sense of humor."
Teach's face drained of color.
"The Marines… the freakin' Marines did this?!" he sputtered.
Whitebeard was still howling, slapping his knee so hard the ship creaked.
"Gurarara! Seems you made some enemies, boy. Or some very entertained friends!"
Teach spun around, yanking posters down like a madman while the rest of the crew snatched them up as souvenirs.
"ZEHAHAHA! YOU BASTARDS WON'T BE LAUGHIN' WHEN I'M WORTH A MILLION!"
"Yeah, yeah," Marco chuckled. "Fifty's a long way from a million, Teach."
Meanwhile, aboard the Red Hair…
Shanks sat in his cabin, feet up, skimming the latest newspaper.
A poster slipped free of the folds and drifted to the floor.
He picked it up, gave it a glance — then did a double take.
And burst out laughing so hard he nearly fell out of his chair.
"Oi! Beckman! Yasopp! Get in here!"
They came running.
"What is it?"
Shanks tossed the poster onto the table.
Beckman read it, then broke into a crooked grin.
"Fifty berrie? Crime: Being ugly? And it's government-issued? Holy hell."
Yasopp wheezed.
"Man… that's rough. Teach ain't gonna live this down."
Shanks pinned it to the wall, right next to Buggy's old poster.
"Best thing I've seen all year."
Back on the Moby Dick
Elsewhere on the ship, Lupin was fast asleep in his cabin.
Until a sudden chill made him stir.
Groggy, he reached for his blanket — but it wasn't there.
He cracked an eye open.
And immediately groaned.
"No. Not again."
Curled up beside him, hogging every inch of the blanket, was Izo.
Sound asleep.
Wearing his usual face paint and a smug expression, even in his dreams.
Lupin scowled.
"This ship is actual hell."
He sat up, teeth chattering, when a fresh explosion of laughter erupted outside.
"WHAT NOW?!"
Storming onto the deck, barefoot and disheveled, Lupin's eyes darted around.
"Oi! Why's everyone screamin' this early—"
Then he saw the poster in Whitebeard's massive hand.
And the smug grin on Marco's face.
His stomach sank.
And all around him, pirates were laughing like maniacs.