By the time they reach Tanner's study, Jess can't hold it in anymore. He knows this is safe than lashing out there.
"Tanner, how could you do that?!" he bursts out, voice sharp and frustrated. "How could you seriously send them to slavery when you're one of them?! We're one of them! Should we be next? Should we be dragged out and sold like you are going to have them sold?! How co...!"
A thunderous crack cuts him off. Tanner's palm slamming violently against the desk. The sound snaps through the room like a whip, Jess flinches instinctively.
"One of you?" Tanner's voice is low, but laced with fury. "Jess, get one thing straight. I am not one of you. Or one of them." His chest rises and falls with suppressed rage, and there's a bitter gleam in his eyes, like the truth he's about to spit out tastes like acid. "I don't know what this madness is. And whatever I did with you…" He falters, jaw tightening like he might shatter his own teeth. "I never did it willingly. I never did it because I wanted to."
Jess's heart caves in slowly, word by word.
"That wasn't me. I was being pushed. Manipulated. Whatever happened between us, I didn't choose it." Tanner's voice drops lower. Like he's trying to detach, to scrape Jess off of him with every syllable. "So no, I'm not one of you. And this?" His hand gestures vaguely, dismissively, between them. "This ends now."
He turns away, like Jess is nothing more than a shadow at the edge of the room. Walks to his drawer, opens it, and pulls out a thick bundle of money.
He doesn't hand it over. Doesn't look at Jess. He sets it on the table like it's a transaction.
"I want you to leave," he says, voice tighter now, like it hurts to say but not enough to stop him. "Go somewhere none of this pack will ever see you again. I'm doing you a great favor. There is no place for people like you here. You've seen that yourself."
Jess doesn't move. He's frozen, trembling slightly, like he's just been gutted and doesn't realize it yet.
"I don't even know what I was thinking when I wanted to keep you," Tanner continues, pacing, every step like a nail into Jess's chest. "You can't give me anything. Not a child. Not a future. Just some false illusion of satisfaction. How long do you think it would take before the pack starts whispering? Judging? My bloodline is meant to lead. And that means I must have a heir! Can you give me that?"
The silence afterward is deafening. Jess stands there, his breath caught halfway through his lungs. His legs numb.
Then Tanner drops the final blow, his voice barely above a whisper, but cutting deeper than a scream.
"I don't want anything to do with you. Or this madness of men wanting men. I'm not part of it."
Jess doesn't speak. Doesn't argue. Standing there. Silent. Shattered.
He watches Tanner, blankly, until it sinks in, this is it. An official rejection.
This is it. This is his mate, casting him out. Erasing him.
It aches. It aches so violently he can't breathe. It aches so deep he realizes just how much he wanted to belong to Tanner. He realizes how much he wanted Tanner to belong to him.
No, this wasn't the mate bond. This was really him... Stupidly falling for Tanner. Wanting. Hoping.
Regardless of the storm inside him, he turns without a word, leaves the money untouched, opens the door, and walks out without looking back.
Outside, the servants bow politely as he passes, but he doesn't even see them. His eyes are glassy, his world shrinking to the crushing weight in his chest.
No one questions him at the gate, just acknowledgement and respectful bows as he passes through.
As soon as he's outside and a little farther from the pack house, free but the air still feels like it's choking him.
He stops.
The tears he's tried so hard to hold back force their way out, spilling down his cheeks before he can stop them.
With a violent motion, he rips the heels off his feet and flings them away. The wig comes off next, torn away with shaking hands, thrown aside like it burns to touch.
Tanner's voice echoes in his head, cruel and clear:
"You can't give me an heir… I don't want anything to do with you… I'm not one of you."
Why is he crying for someone who's that heartless. He thinks. He finally wipes his face roughly, trying to steady his breathing. Slowly, he pulls himself back together.
But suddenly his stomach turns.
A burning taste crawls up his throat.
He collapses to his knees and throws up in the grass, body wracked by trembling.
His chest tightens. His vision spins.
And just like the morning he woke up after sharing a night with Tanner, pain curls in his belly, like something foreign is inside.
This feeling hasn't left him since that moment. Something about what they shared unsettled him, left him feeling things he doesn't understand. He's never felt like this before.
"What if I got pregnant?" he mutters, a strained chuckle escaping him, empty, humorless. "You wish, have you dressed in woman's clothes for so long that you dare forget your real gender?" he adds under his breath, voice laced with bitterness.