What is a demon? A smart person? Or someone evil? But then we just have more questions. What's evil? Hurting others? But when you hurt someone else for a good reason, it's not evil.
Well, I think evil is just the hole in things, but again, I also think one is evil when one thinks they are evil; if you don't think you're doing anything bad, how are you evil? It's like someone killing a lot of people to do something good; you should not feel bad for doing something like that...
At least I would not feel bad, you know; I always had these thoughts ever since I was young. What if I killed my father? What if I killed my mother? What if I killed everyone in my family? Well, even if I did have thoughts like this, I never did any of them because, well, I would not get anything out of it...
My family was more useful for me alive than dead, plus it would be too much trouble hiding their bodies anyway. My early life was like that; I just had a few thoughts, nothing else...
And then the teenage years come by and go. I don't understand emotion... or, well, no, I do have emotions like lust, love, happiness, and other emotions, but I don't understand them. I feel like they're so useless... but, well, as fate had it, I fell in love, and, well, that was funny; it did not last for even 3 years...
The first love of my life died after we married just a few months ago. How did she die? No, I did not kill her. Why would you even think that? But, well, she died in a car accident, and, well, I did kill the man who was driving the car that hit her later, and that's why I ended up in jail for the rest of my life, and that's why I ask.
What is evil?
What's evil? Hurting others?
When you hurt someone else for a good reason, that's evil.
What is a demon?
Because if I had another chance, I would not keep the demon inside me chained...
I break everything, kill everyone, get so strong, and nothing matters. If only I had one more chance, I would show this world what true evil is...
Hahhahahaahahah. I laugh at my hope; I knew it was hopeless, but I still had hope. How useless! And while laughing, I feel my heart beating faster, and I stop laughing and hit my chest hard. I knew it; I was having a heart attack!
And I lay there trying to say something but failing, trying to do something and failing, and after a second I stop wiggling like a fish because I realize how weak I must look right now; at least in my dying breath I stay strong and let the demon out...
Closing my eyes, I let all the thoughts that I kept deep in my heart out of my mind. It is pure chaos. Without thinking, I started to bang my head on the wall, getting the attention of the guard nearby, and the guard yelled at me, but I didn't stop. I kept smashing my head on the wall...
Till the guard opens the cell and walks in, trying to stop me and check up on me. Just then I grab his neck and jump at him with everything I have got, and I bite his nose off. The guard screams in my face, but I grab his gun, and then...
BANG....
I shot the guard in his neck and stood up, and I held my chest. I was no longer having a heart attack... maybe because of the adrenaline rush, but for a second chance, I seemed to have let my thoughts out...
That night I went and killed everyone I saw till I was out of jail, and the second I walked outside the door.
BANG....
I got shot right in the head by some cop, and I fell, and well, all I had were these thoughts, even when I was born and even when I was about to die... oh, but I did not lose. No, I win...
After his death 3 minutes later, when the police station was covered with cops and, well, just when the news cars pulled up, BOOM... it seems someone had left all the explosives and booms inside the police station active...
And was it a calm wind going through my hair? Was I in heaven? No, I know I am supposed to be in hell after the crap I did at the end of my life at least...
I slowly open my eyes, and I was on the ground on grass. I shake my head a little and sit up, and I look around, and wow, I was in the woods somewhere, and I look at myself. I was not wearing the cell uniform anymore. Weird...
I crawl to the nearby water stream, and I look at myself, and when I look at myself, I don't see my face; I see the face of a young man who seems a little beat up, huh? What is this? I woke up in a different body in what seems like a different world...
Hahaha hahaha. I started to laugh once again; this was my second chance, my true second chance. Hahaha.
After laughing a little, I wash my face with the water in the river and smile as I sit down under a tree and look at myself, trying to find anything on me, and I find a book! It looks really old, like something they used in the ancient era.
'And without thinking I opened the book, and well, wow, it was just a bunch of what looked like Japanese and Mandarin... thankful I learned a little bit of Japanese just for fun in my past life, and I started to read the book.'
And after a while I realize I could barely read anything, but from what I understand, this is a well "diary," which is good for me if I can find anything about this world...
xiù ...
From what looks like that's my name; it's also the only word that keeps coming up again and again in this book.