"But I'm better than this," Padmé shot back, still just as pitiable. "I know, I am."
"Padmé," Dormé breathed, a genuine look of endearment in her eyes as she settled beside her friend's desk. "I've been your best friend since… forever. I know you. You're the best of the best, but life is about the unexpected, and that's okay. You can't plan and manage everything by yourself. Sometimes, life is just about getting through the day. Sometimes, the Force knows what you need more than you do. It's all about lessons and simply living. Not every day will be one for the record books. You need to stop being so hard on yourself." Dormé chuckled to herself and waved her hand toward the front of the office. "I mean, look at me. All I did today was panic and close a very big door."
Dormé continued to chuckle, and the lighthearted sound made Padmé smile. "When did you get so wise?" "Easy," Dormé smiled. "When you started panicking so much."
Padmé giggled. "Yes, well, in my defense, I didn't just close a door today. Still, I did wonder why that door was shut." Padmé frowned with curiosity and turned to face Dormé. "Why did you close it, anyway? Were you worried that Palpatine might come looking?"
Padmé watched as her question caused every muscle in Dormé's body to tense. The woman paled as if she had seen a ghost, some sort of demonic spirit. "I'm afraid that wasn't the reason," Dormé whispered, her voice crackling as she stared into a place far away from the office. There was a long pause- so long that Padmé believed that might have been the only sentence she would get from Dormé. That was, until Dormé's face became distraught, as if she had witnessed an act of terror unfold before her very eyes. "He is here," she whispered fearfully. "He has been stalking around all morning… like a shadow in the darkness."
Padmé nodded, surprised but understanding of her handmaiden's fear. Dormé, unlike her, had not been formally acquainted with Palpatine during his years as a senator, and especially not after his accident. Having just returned a few days ago from Naboo, and with limited time spent in the Senate, Dormé had little opportunity to acclimate to the presence of Emperor Palpatine. "Yes," Padmé said. "The Emperor can be quite intimidating in person. Though I must say from my experience–"
"You miss understand me," Dormé cut her off, snapping her head in Padmé's direction and swimming her eyes back into focus. Not the Emperor, milady," Dormé said, taking a deep breath as she made the correction. Lord Vader."
Darth Vader. Images of the Imperial Celebration the night before flashed through Padmé's mind, reminding her once again of the Dark Lord of the Sith who had been present. The strength, the darkness, and the power were all things that she had noticed about Darth Vader, but above all, it was hard to ignore the fear he evoked with his mere presence. In truth, the man– if he was indeed a man- was a sort of walking enigma. Just the sight, presence, or mention of his name seemed to cause people to quake with fear. Darth Vader shook the greatest of leaders, the most noble of men, and the strongest of nations with just the simplest whisper of his name or a glance of his presence. He was a monster, but that was what made him a Sith Lord.
Padmé pushed aside the swirling thoughts in her mind before turning back to Dormé, still unable to believe the words she had just heard. "Lord Vader?" she repeated, her voice laced with shock and disbelief. "Darth Vader is here?" As if the confession wasn't frightening enough, it was even harder to imagine, let alone believe, that Vader could truly be so close... especially here. Vader was never present. He was never seen at the Senate, nor poking his nose in something as domestic as internal affairs… but then again, he was never at Imperial parties either. Today seemed to be a new day for the Empire, and Palpatine appeared all too willing to have his military and his most loyal apprentice involved in the inner workings of his most beloved dictatorship.
Dormé nodded, breathing a shallow breath that betrayed her terror. "I thought you knew. He arrived this morning, after the madness, prowling around like a horrid creature. That's when everything became cold and silent… I've never seen him so close." She paused, wrapping her arms around her chest, a gesture that Padmé knew was intended to bring her some comfort. "I thought the Emperor had agreed to keep Vader away from the Senate. Those clones too. That's the only reason I agreed to be here alone. I see how long he keeps his promises."
"You and I both know Palpatine is a liar," Padmé pointed out, pure fire in her voice. "Do you remember my years as Queen of Naboo? He never kept his promises. I met him only twice- twice during my entire term! Even when the Trade Federation was starving our planet, it was as if he made no time for me at all." She paused, taking a deep breath, fully aware of the truth behind her words, even if she couldn't express the entire reality. "Palpatine was the first person who considered me a foolish child. His support for getting me into office was merely an act, designed to further his own plans." Padmé bit back a growl, the memory still fresh and painful in her mind. "He lied," she continued. "It's what he does best. He promised me, while I was queen, that he would make things better with my support. I believed him, and then look what he did… I was just his key to gain office. He used me. He turned everyone against me. He made me look like a fool. He's nothing but a fraud and a liar."
"It wasn't just you, Padmé! He fooled all of us!" Dormé retorted. "You're being too hard on yourself. He hasn't turned us against you. Naboo still stands with you, along with more people than you realize. All he wanted was power, and he would use anyone to obtain it. Everyone knows that."
He'll never use me again, Padmé had promised herself, but she couldn't help wondering how true that statement was, no matter how much she wished it to be. It was hard to believe, especially when the man was so vindictive and lost in his own power. There were times, even now, when she felt nothing more than another pawn in his games. Always a pawn. Always used.
Padmé frowned. The conversation was taking a path that brought up too many bad memories, memories she was always forced to remember. Hoping to get her mind off of her thoughts, she turned to the datapads on her desk and returned to her work. She read the reports, voted on solutions, and wrote comments when needed, but her mind was still in another place. She hoped Dormé wouldn't notice, but of course, she always did.
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