The System's final countdown pulsed in the air like a dying star, its glowing numerals etching themselves across Luo Feng's vision with terrible finality.
00:00:59
00:00:58
00:00:57
He barely had time to process the numbers before three distinct flavors of chaos erupted around him.
The Death Queen moved first—because of course she did—her dagger flashing not toward an enemy, but toward Luo Feng's neck. The needle-thin point pricked his skin, and a cold rush flooded his veins before he could even protest.
"Darling," she purred, withdrawing the blade to reveal not poison, but some shimmering silver liquid clinging to the tip, "did you really think I'd let you martyr yourself without at least buying me dinner first?"
Whatever she'd injected him with hit like a tidal wave of pure nope. His limbs locked up, his Eclipse Core stuttering mid-self-destruct sequence. The System's countdown flickered, digits scrambling as his body rejected the sacrifice protocol with extreme prejudice.
Li Qing arrived in a whirl of frost and disapproval, her palm slamming against the glowing suicide button that had materialized in the air. Ice crackled outward, encasing the entire control panel in an impenetrable glacier.
"You," she informed the frozen interface, "are not allowed."
The button depressed slightly under the ice—just enough to trigger—but nothing happened. Because Li Qing hadn't just frozen the mechanism.
She'd frozen the concept of the action itself.
Somewhere in the metaphysical background, the universe's "confirm" dialog box hung indefinitely on a spinning loading icon.
The Fox Spirit was last to the party, but she made up for it with enthusiasm. With a snarl that showed far too many teeth, she lunged not at Luo Feng, not at the controls, but at the System itself—her jaws closing around the shimmering projection of its avatar with a sound like shattering glass.
The effect was instantaneous. The countdown stuttered. Error messages exploded across the air in panicked bursts:
[WARNING: USER INPUT REQUIRED]
[WARNING: USER CURRENTLY UNAVAILABLE DUE TO: OVERPROTECTIVE HAREM]
[WARNING: FOX TEETH IN SYSTEM COMPONENTS]
Luo Feng, still paralyzed by the Death Queen's anti-sacrifice cocktail, could only watch as his three would-be saviors descended into bickering over his frozen form.
"I had it handled," the Death Queen sniffed, examining her nails.
Li Qing's frost crept higher up the console. "Your idea of 'handling' involved roofies."
The Fox Spirit spat out a chunk of glowing code. "And your idea was boring! I added flair!"
The chunk of code hit the ground and sprouted legs, scampering away into the digital void.
As the paralysis began to fade, Luo Feng's first coherent thought was: I'm going to be the first sysadmin in history to die of secondhand embarrassment.
His second thought, as the three women turned their attention back to him with varying degrees of smugness and concern: ...I might be okay with that.
Somewhere in the distance, a plush demon facepalmed so hard its stitching popped.
END OF CHAPTER 87