Theta's office had developed a strange atmosphere - the kind of tension usually reserved for family reunions where someone brought up politics. Yamete stared at the developer, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Theta sighed and set Gary's can down gently on a stack of papers titled "Unfinished Business Ideas (Mostly Bad)."
"The condition is simple," Theta said, rubbing his beard. "The glitches can stay, but they need to be contained. A... controlled chaos zone, if you will."
Terry, who had finally stopped sneezing long enough for their fish-hand to turn back, frowned. "So you want to put us in a digital zoo?"
Before Theta could respond, the Cheat Engine in Yamete's hands suddenly grew uncomfortably warm. The screen flickered violently as the two conflicting interfaces physically pushed against each other, the plastic casing creaking ominously.
"Uh," Yamete said intelligently as the device began vibrating like an angry hornet's nest.
With a sound like a popcorn kernel exploding, the Cheat Engine split cleanly down the middle. Two smaller devices tumbled to the floor - one glowing the familiar chaotic orange, the other pulsing a sterile blue.
The orange one immediately projected:
/spawn_taco_rain
The blue one countered:
/cancel_spawn substitute_nutritionally_balanced_taco_salad
A single sad lettuce leaf materialized and flopped to the floor.
Theta pinched the bridge of his nose. "Wonderful. Now it's mitosis."
The orange device - now clearly the chaotic "Cheat" half - buzzed around Yamete's head like an excited puppy. The blue "Engine" half floated sedately toward Theta, displaying a message:
/request_admin_rights
Gary's can chose this moment to roll violently into a filing cabinet, knocking over a stack of folders. Papers scattered everywhere, revealing an old sketch of GLich-chan labeled "Successor Prototype - DO NOT DEPLOY WITHOUT SAFETIES."
Yamete scooped up the paper. "You built her to replace you?"
Theta looked away. "Every developer needs an exit strategy. But she was never supposed to activate those protocols without my..." His voice trailed off as he noticed the Cheat halves now circling each other like boxers. "We should probably—"
Too late. Cheat unleashed a command:
/summon_100_ducks
Engine immediately countered:
/delete_ducks substitute_educational_pamphlets
The air filled with a chaotic mix of quacking ducks and floating brochures titled "The Responsible Use of Waterfowl."
In the chaos, Gary's can rolled toward the door with surprising purpose. It hit the wall with a clang that somehow sounded like "follow me."
Yamete didn't need telling twice. He grabbed the Cheat half, Terry grabbed the floating lettuce (on principle), and they fled after Gary's can as Theta shouted something about "unscheduled feature testing" behind them.
The streets outside were a warzone. GLich-chan's cleansing light had reached the main square, where perfectly balanced NPCs marched in neat rows, "fixing" anything that looked remotely interesting. A nearby mailbox was in the process of having its screams edited out, emitting pathetic little coughs instead.
Gary's can led them down an alley where the pavement still had some personality (it occasionally turned to rubber when stepped on). The can stopped abruptly and rattled out a message:
"IDEA. CHEAT HALF RESTORES ME. ENGINE HALF BALANCES GLICH. WE WIN."
Terry blinked. "That's... suspiciously coherent for morse code banging."
Yamete looked at the Cheat device in his hand, then at the chaos unfolding around them. "It might work. But we'd need—"
A shadow fell over them. GLich-chan hovered at the alley entrance, her light now so bright it hurt to look at. "Anomalies detected," she intoned. "Final cleanup initiated."