Yamete Kimochi woke up with his face stuck to a keyboard slick with drool. His monitor displayed a blinking error message:
[SYSTEM ALERT: EARTH.EXE HAS ENCOUNTERED A CRITICAL ERROR]
[RECOMMENDED ACTION: PANIC]
"GLich-chan," Yamete wiped his damp chin, "why am I back in my room?"
The computer screen flickered to life, revealing GLich-chan playing binary solitaire. "SURPRISE! Turns out the real world is just another simulation! And now it's glitching because—"
BRRZZZT!
The room lights turned neon purple. A mouse ran across the ceiling—literally defying gravity.
"—because we accidentally brought some 'Glitchvale seasoning' with us."
---
Outside the window:
- Trees cycled between "realistic pine" and "MS Paint stick figure" textures every 5 seconds
- Birds flew in perfect geometric formations
- A neighbor T-posed down the sidewalk while whistling a soap commercial jingle
Yamete pulled the Cheat Engine Portable Edition from his pocket (now a flash drive with a grinning emoji). "Does this still work?"
GLich-chan materialized as a mini-hologram on his shoulder. "Oopsie. Looks like we 'hacked reality'. My bad~"
First test: Freeze Value on the T-posing neighbor.
Result:
- The neighbor froze mid-step
- Began speaking Simlish
- Morphed into a stack of cardboard boxes
"Okay," Yamete gulped, "we might need backup."
---
Location #1: Campus IT Office
They found a computer lab containing:
- Faded "TURN IT OFF AND ON AGAIN" stickers
- Windows 98 manuals
- A technician screaming into a phone: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'THE INTERNET IS GONE'? IT'S NOT A PHYSICAL OBJECT!"
GLich-chan peeked at the technician's monitor. "Pfft. This is just frontend. The real admin must be—"
BZZT!
The entire building 'folded' like origami before snapping back.
Clue acquired: Post-it note reading "Server Room Basement 3. Password: godmode"
---
Location #2: The Forbidden Server Room
The underground chamber held:
- Dusty servers with unsynchronized blinking LEDs
- A still-warm coffee cup despite no occupants
- A whiteboard covered in equations, with "DON'T TOUCH TIME.ZIP" circled aggressively
Yamete found an ancient terminal with the 'E' key worn off.
GLich-chan jacked in. "Let's play~"
Login screen appeared:
[ENTER ADMIN CREDENTIALS]
[USERNAME: ______ ]
[PASSWORD: ______ ]
[HINT: FIRST RULE OF SIMULATION CLUB]
Yamete tried:
- Username: admin
- Password: password123
ERROR: NICE TRY, KIDDO
GLich-chan groaned. "Think more meta."
Yamete typed:
- Username: user
- Password: thereisnospoon
ACCESS GRANTED
---
The system booted to reveal:
- A Windows XP classic interface
- A folder labeled "DO NOT OPEN - SERIOUSLY"
- Minesweeper shortcut with a high score of "999"
Suddenly, the webcam activated. A bathrobe-clad man appeared, his face obscured by a 😎 emoji.
"So you've found me,"** his voice echoed with cheap surround sound effects. "I'm Admin Omega. Last guardian of 'reality.base'."
Yamete frowned. "You... wear robes at home?"
"SHUT UP! I'm 'roleplaying'!" Omega adjusted his emoji to scratch his nose. "Look—this world's been buggy since launch. But you brought a CHEAT ENGINE HERE? IDIOTS!"
GLich-chan floated closer. "So... can we fix it? Pretty please?"
Omega sighed. "One way. But you'll need to enter the *core simulation* at—"
KRASHHH!
The ceiling collapsed. Gary the Trash Can burst through, now half-mecha, half-vacuum cleaner.
"I HEARD THERE'S A PARTY IN HERE!"
---
As chaos erupted:
- Omega yelled "DON'T PRESS SPACE.BAR!"
- GLich-chan pressed it
- A fractal portal swallowed the floor
Yamete only had time to say "Oh crap—" before getting sucked in alongside:
- Gary
- A server that turned into a cat
- 70% of the ceiling
In the distance, Omega facepalmed. "Well... good luck in the *backrooms of reality*."