I didn't even realize how many people were standing nearby until I heard it:
Gasps. A cough.
And then silence.
My face went hot for a different reason now.
They all saw it.
Ah, fuck. I picked up my stuff and walked off, feeling hot and bothered.
Did he just pheromone-shower me? And then had the audacity to leave, leaving me in such a mess?
My skin was tingling, like my nerves had short-circuited.
His scent clung to me—heavy, intoxicating, wrong.
My body wasn't reacting well to his pheromones... It was becoming more sensitive than it already was.
I could feel the shift—heat creeping up my spine, breath coming faster.
My glands were overproducing, trying to stabilize the imbalance, but all I could smell was him.
God, this wasn't normal. This wasn't fair.
I hugged my arms around myself and pushed through the crowd, trying to disappear before I completely lost it in front of everyone.
I walked away from the open field, past everyone who couldn't stop staring or whispering, shocked expressions plastered on their faces. The heat crept up to my neck.
Oh, how embarrassing.
Why did he even do that?
I stared at the handkerchief in my hand.
It no longer had my pheromones, but his.
I contemplated throwing it away but couldn't bring myself to do it.
I rushed to get further away from the crowd.
I felt my phone vibrate and, thinking it was Kenan, checked immediately.
To my surprise, it wasn't him, but a worried message from Jacob.
I replied, "It's okay. I'll stay in my dorm in case of anything."
I stared at Kenan's number before messaging him. I wanted answers for his abrupt action earlier.
And his stupid pheromone shower. His scent was plastered all over me.
The stares I received made my skin feel flushed, my heart pounding like I was mid-heatand I hated how familiar his scent had become.As I walked past anyone made me so flustered.
I could tell I was being judged.
My once pale skin had now turned flushed red.
I climbed the stairs lazily, like all the energy I had from this morning was gone.
My body wasn't reacting well to his pheromones.
Worse—
It was becoming more sensitive than it already was.
I took off my shoes and lay down, my chest rising and falling.
I needed to calm myself, but the scent still emitting off me was a problem.
It was like my body was trying to fight it off, but yearning for it at the same time.
I twisted and turned, touching my lips briefly before sinking into the bed.
I shouldn't have remembered the way his lips felt.
But I did.
Again and again.
My own pheromones were tangled with his, like oil slick in water impossible to separate now.
Why would he do that in front of everyone?
I remembered everything vividly.
The look in his eyes.
His pheromones.
His bruised face.
I sat up and grabbed the phone I had set aside earlier, unlocking it and going straight to our chat.
Only one tick.
I called. Straight to voicemail.
Blocked.
He really blocked me.
I tossed my phone onto the blanket and raked my fingers through my hair.
"This stupid, half-tempered idiot," I muttered. "He can't make up his mind and he blocks me."
All I wanted was to ask if he was okay.
Days flew by. I couldn't remember how many times I didn't see Kenan—
Compared to all the days I didn't want to see him but he showed up anyway.
It's Monday now. I expected to see him at the lecture, but to my surprise, he wasn't there either.
Still, I showed up at the library.
It was my habit, whether he was there or not.
I made my way to my usual seat before I saw him.
His pheromones floated in the air as usual.
The same scent my body found hard to ignore.
I almost turned around. But I didn't. I dropped my bag louder than I meant to, pulled out a chair, and sat down hard.
"What a surprise to see Kenan here," I muttered, sarcasm curling under my breath like smoke.
His head was down in a book, pretending I didn't exist—
Which aggravated me more than I expected.
"Oh, so you're quiet now? Not shocking, since I was blocked."
I sighed and rummaged through my book.
"Wouldn't it be nice to have boundaries?" he said.
I was going to ignore what he just said, but something in me snapped.
I scoffed and met his eyes.
"Boundaries? Really? If we had any boundaries, I wouldn't have to take double the dosage just to feel normal—because someone decided to pheromone-shower me," I said, emphasizing every word with my hand.
It was true. I did take twice the suppressant dosage just to feel somewhat normal.
I was weak and fatigued from the false heat.
The pheromone shower wasn't helping.
My body was undergoing changes I didn't want to admit.
I couldn't help but notice his face was still bruised.
I could only guess what happened.
Rumors were swirling about the incident, but I didn't want to believe them.
I wanted to hear it from the source.
He just stared at me.
"What happened last Friday, Kenan?" I asked boldly.
His face tightened, clearly irritated.
I didn't care.
Both his shoulders rose in a silent shrug.
"I don't know."
That was an answer?
"You don't know? So how is Leone still in the hospital, Kenan?"
"He is? I would've never guessed."
I sighed again.
I wasn't going to get an answer.
"He was my model, and I have two more days to complete this project. So it's important I know what happened."
"Why don't you ask him yourself then, Ciro?" he said, voice sharp.
I was taken aback.
"I can't ask him that."
"That's not how he made it sound last week."
"We're not close anyway, Kenan."
"So are we close enough, Ciro? You're asking a lot of questions."
This bitch.
"Of course I'll ask you questions—because they're questions only you have the answers to."
"All I did was defend that handkerchief of yours."
"But three people ended up in the hospital."
"Isn't this how hunting is supposed to go anyway?"
"But didn't you say Leone and I 'go together'? So why were you putting up such a big resistance, then? Wouldn't it be nice to get rid of me?"
I looked away.
He looked taken aback.
"Who said that?"
"Meeka did."
"Now my project's a lost cause. I don't have a model."
"Well, to ease your worries, I'll replace him."
My mind went blank.
"What about Meeka?"
"It's not like there's a rule that I can't model for you too."
"I don't need your help. I'll figure something out," I said.
He was trying to make it sound easier than it was.
I'd done everything to suit Leone—
And Kenan was taller, broader, completely different.
I shouldn't care. But I do. Stupidly.
So frustrating.
I just wanted him to say it meant something—
That I wasn't a damn accident.
"About what happened... Why?"
"It was nothing, really."
It was nothing.
I didn't even bother answering. I got up from the chair and left the library.
Having that conversation was a waste of time.
I figured I didn't want to see him again until the next assignment.
That assignment ended up being postponed until the week after.
The incident with Kenan, which he still refused to explain, caused a big stir.
The university said they were currently investigating it.
The walk back to my dorm felt longer than usual.
My steps were heavy.
My mind, clouded with a frustration I couldn't name.
I reached my dorm and immediately collapsed onto my bed.
Jacob was already there.
"What happened to you?" he asked.
"Kenan," I whispered.
"I can tell. His pheromones are plastered on you."
"It's still there? No wonder I feel light-headed."
Jacob raised a brow. "So... how many stars would you give the kiss?"
"Jacob."
"Right, sorry. Wrong time. Just wondering if I should prepare for a wedding or a lawsuit."
I let out a sigh before turning over to the other side.
"You can prepare for neither."
I reminded myself to take an inhibitor, but I was too tired and fell asleep.
Somewhere in my half-dream, I could still feel it—
The pressure of his lips.
The weight of his stare.
The heat of his breath.
And I hated that part of me still ached for the taste of his scent, the pressure of his kiss like it had branded me.