After that rose plant encounter, I found myself convinced the rose had thorns too. So because of that, I have been walking cautiously lately. If I spot suspicious beautiful flowers, I immediately distance myself. I mean I've been cautious the entire week. And the planet tried to murder me this week.
And after a few days walking on foot, I noticed, one minute I'm strolling through a leafy green forest, cool breeze brushing my face like a gentle woodland kiss, Barry glowing faint blue lamp on my shoulder, and Blaze stalking squirrel-like- fern like a knife-happy vine-cat, and I was actually thinking,
"Hey. Maybe this place isn't trying to kill me every second."
Well, that thought aged like milk. Because literally the next ridge over, the scenery changed like the planet changed to rage and quit the gardening hobby and went straight to blood-themed landscaping with blood colored plants under a scorching heat of sun. I mean it. Red trees. Red grass. Red air?! Who decided the color scheme? A tomato with a god complex?
The map's glowing trail kept moving forward, so we had no choice but to follow it, straight into what I can only describe as a satanic salad hell.
"Okay," I muttered, wiping the sweat off my face for the twentieth time. "Did someone accidentally summon a lava dimension or is this just Monday?"
Barry pulsed an anxious orange. Blaze spat out a hot pebble and glared at it like it insulted his ancestry.
Even the breeze was rude now. It blew hot air in my face like a hairdryer set to "oven."
"We went from 'enchanted forest' to 'Dante's Terrarium' in under ten steps!" I shouted into the sizzling sky. "Can I get a pause button, please?!"
Blaze flopped dramatically into the red sand, his vine little green legs in the air. Barry tried to shade me by glowing extra hard, but even he was dropping a little.
I pulled out a flask and sipped the last of my water ration. "Nope. Nope. This is where I die. Sunburned, betrayed by photosynthesis, and probably eaten by weird plants with legs."
And as I was about to step further into the desert-like hell I saw small plants, with deep red color, dangling with its roots.
Then, because this planet LOVES comedic timing, theappraisal went off and then on again.
Appraisal:
Name:Inferniroot
Type: Scorch-Resistant Desert Shrub
Color: Redder than regret
Mood: Aggressive
Warning: Releases pollen that makes you itchy in places you don't want to be itchy.
"I don't like how many plants here are labeled 'aggressively' anything."
And since the Bota Watch didn't send me important plants notifications, I avoided it. I reached into my bag instead, pulled out a protein bar which Blaze stole almost immediately. I glared at Blaze while he licked it, and sighed.
"We need shelter before one of us becomes barbecued."
A minute later, we stumbled upon what looked like a hollowed red stump. It was big enough for me to crouch in, and the inside smelled like burned cinnamon. Weird, but not the worst thing I've sniffed this week.
Barry floated beside me, his glow flickering faintly.
"You okay, buddy?"
Barry turned a soft green, his 'yes but also worried you'll do something dumb' color. Comforting.
We settled in for the night. Blaze curled beside me, his leafy body twitching as if dreaming about stabbing things. I used Barry's glow like a soft lantern, flipping through my Bota Journal to review the new red-zone species.
Each entry sounded more threatening than the last:
Cinderleaf: Can self-combust. Good for cooking. Bad for friendships.
Scorchmallow: Looks edible. Isn't. Explodes on contact.
Firehowler Buds: Don't. Just don't. I don't even want to talk about them.
"Alright," I murmured, watching Barry hover protectively above us. "We've made it this far. No magic, no weapons, just a glow bug and a knife kitten."
A breeze swept through the desert, hot and heavy like dragon breath.
"But hey," I added with a grin. "At least we're still alive."
Just then, the map pulsed again, this time with a blinking red exclamationicon. And in the distance, a faint howl echoed across the dunes. Blaze growled. Barry pulsed nervously. And me? I closed my eyes and muttered, "Yep. Definitely Monday."
So there I was, sitting in a toasty stump, sweating through my underwear, chewing on the last chocolate protein bar Blaze didn't steal, and wondering which part of me would become toast first, when the Dingsound made a noise.
Shiv decided to pop up like a smug weed fairy. Literally materialized inside the stump like a holographic plant god from a fever dream.
"Ah," he said, arms crossed, smirk perfectly calibrated to make me feel like an idiot, "so you finally reached the Thornknight Bramble Territory."
I blinked.
"Then, what now? That sounds like a heavy bad news."
He floated lazily in the air, not sweating, obviously, because he's a glowy smug hologram made of divine sass.
"The Thornknight Bramble," he repeated, as if that made it better. "A monster plant. Fire type and is very resistant to fire but is vulnerable with water. Occasionally spits lava. Often breathes fire. Definitely wants to toss you."
I just stared at him.
"Oh," Shiv added, "it's also very moody and territorial. If it senses movement within its domain—" he gestured dramatically toward the red desert outside, "—you're toast. Quite literally."
Barry dimmed to a nervous blue. Blaze let out a low growl and started sharpening his claws on the stump's floor, which wasn't helping my nerves.
"Great," I said. "Love that for us. Any chance it just wants to talk it out? Maybe exchange seeds peacefully?"
Shiv didn't even blink. "Unlikely. Its diet includes iron, scorched bones, and burned flesh, maybe?"
I sighed and slumped back. "So, what, I just walk out there and get flambéed?"
"No," he said smugly. "First, you must collect water from an InfernCacti."
"An Inferncacti?" I raised a brow. "Is that a cactus or a volcano pretending to be a cactus?"
"Both," he replied way too cheerfully. "They store water from the annual rainstorm. It's the only liquid cool enough to weaken the Thornknight Bramble's core flame.. Without it, your attacks would simply bounce off its charred armor and trigger its defense mode. That includes Molten Vine Whips and a charming move called lava flood."
Barry blinked in horror. Blaze flattened his ears.
"…Lava flood?" I whispered. "That's… that's a move?"
"Oh yes," Shiv said, eyes twinkling with glee. "Devastating and will make you drown as slowly being cooked alive."
I covered my face with my hands and groaned.
"So let me get this straight: I have to find an extremely rare cactus in a dead desert, milk it like a plant cow, avoid being fried by a flame knight made of thorns, and… what? Hit its glowing weak spot?"
"Correct," Shiv nodded, then floated slightly closer. "You must strike the core—hidden beneath its armored bramble chest like I said."
"Okay, fine. And how do I reach the core?"
Shiv's grin widened. "That's for you to discover."
"Oh come on!"
Shiv began to fade, chuckling like a pollen-addicted trickster. "Best of luck, Chosen Botanist. May your blades be sharp, your minions obedient, and your underwear flame-resistant."
And just like that, he was gone.
I was left with Barry's awkward glow, Blaze's unimpressed tail thumping against the stump floor, and the gentle knowledge that I was about to fight a fire-breathing bramble knight without a clue or a cactus.
I groaned into my hands again.
"Okay team. New mission: Find a cactus, don't die, maybe stab a lava bush."
Blaze flexed his claws. Barry pulsed a brave green.
And me?
I loaded my spray bottle with whatever water I had left and whispered a prayer to the God of Flora that this wasn't the moment I became a campfire snack.
The desert mornings were fake.
Sure, it looked cooler, with a bit of breeze and the sun yawning on the horizon—but give it ten minutes and it turned into oven-on-high.
I sat up in my half-buried sleeping tent, my lips dry, my eyes crusty, and my soul ready to cry out for iced coffee. Barry hovered faintly above my head like a sleepy nightlight. Blaze was sprawled on the sand like a sun-dried tortilla, his tail blades twitching.
"InfernCacti," I muttered, squinting at the floating map. "Rare, full of water, extremely rare. Great. Another plant I have to look at which my chances of finding one is impossible."
As we walked I saw something strange just a few feet off the map's glowing line. A wobbling little green-red stalk with a single bulging spore on top, surrounded by red and green leaf like petals or if it's actually petals.
I said, reaching for my Bota Watch as it ping.
"New Found Plants.
Species: Rare
:Appraisal:
Name: Suckapore
Family: Pod-Lily Subspecies (dry land)
Information: The spore-like flower also seed is a detachable flower. It acts as a sponge and storage as well as sucking and storing water from the source. It can hold up to 4 gallons of water and extrenemy light even water inside.
I blinked. "Wait... this ugly plant is useful?"
Blaze growled softly, circling it like a suspicious housecat with a grudge.
"No, no, he's cool now," I said, holding up my hands. "He's a desert water bottle."
Barry glowed soft blue in approval.
I crouched and tapped the sand around Suckapore gently. It quivered. The spore wobbled.
Then, with a soft pop, the spore detached and rolled toward my leg like a fat blueberry with a mission.
A screen popped out and it was a message from Shiv.
"Congratulations! You just found a nature-made canteen. Don't lick it. Shiv says that's gross."
"I wasn't gonna lick it," I grumbled, grabbing the spore. It was surprisingly cool to the touch. A faint condensation shimmered along the surface.
I popped it into my inventory, giving Blaze a look.
"See? No fire. No blade-swatting. No trauma this time."
Blaze looked deeply disappointed. Barry glowed a yellow that somehow translated to "meh."
As we kept moving, I glanced over my shoulder. The Suckapore was already sprouting another baby spore, wobbling slowly. Does it generate flower that fast?
I patted my bag. Might as well use it in the future.