Footsteps signal the teacher's arrival, full of incomprehensible gibberish, and finally an alarm clock rings.
"Raaah... five more minutes..."
I grunt, turn on my side, wedge my hand under my cheek.
"Here. Is my pillow... hard?"
I decide to open my eyes and what do I notice?
Oh yes, that's right, I'm in this fucking maze...
"Back to the isekai after a good sleep!"
I scramble to my feet and run my hand through my hair...
Something's bothering me.
Why do I feel two horns? Didn't I have just one before?
"Oh, so I was right about the more monstrous evolution!
Two horns, then, as if my skull had decided to turn me into an optional Dark Souls boss.
Well, from my vague recollection, hadn't I tried an evolution? Let's see if it worked in its entirety.
"Analyse this!"
[ Proto-Oni - No Name Instinctive Deviation ]
"Wait a second... when did you start working so well?"
[The connection with the System has improved with your evolution.]
"Bullshit! Every time you told me you were turned off, and you're working H24 in data stalker mode!"
[The System isn't omnipotent.]
"I hope so, because if not, I'm literally up to my neck in shit.
Well, instead of arguing with a computer, I should be happy.
"Anyway, it worked!
Now I'm going to bust a class in final boss mode... the monster at the bottom of the labyrinth who lifts adventurers up like sacks of potatoes, kills a few for style, and leaves a traumatised survivor to build my legend on!
"Oh fuck, that makes you want to!"
And then the other half of my brain, the half that still has two functioning neurons, remembers where I slept.
"I SLEPT HERE?!"
I sit up straight, scanning the room with my eyes.
The walls haven't changed, great! Just as creepy as ever, like a musty cave version of Resident Evil.
The remains of my enemy are still there, well chilled at any rate, and the smell... oh the smell...
But no noise, not a single monster. Just a horrible silence, like in a survival horror just before the shit hits the fan.
"Damn, I was lucky!"
OK, now let's hit the system a bit.
"By the way, system? Can I ask why I fell apart after my evolution? I didn't sign up for a power nap."
[ Loss of consciousness is a systematic stage in major evolution. The physical, mental and energetic adaptation exceeds the capacity for conscious processing. ]
Translation: "You crashed my OS during the update, didn't you?"
[ This interruption is also used to prevent incomplete or unstable mutations due to will interference. ]
"So basically you'd rather unplug me than risk me becoming a buggy boss?"
[ Roughly correct comparison. ]
"You're scary, really. But at least you're honest."
Well, I'm looking at myself... at least, not entirely. Just my arms and hands.
"My arms? Wait... MY ARMS!?"
I blink, tilt my head, slowly raise my right one.
The one that had exploded against the ground after my fall. An old bag of crushed bones and flesh in a gory 3D jigsaw puzzle.
But there? There it is, this old, fucking functional thing. With my fingers moving and everything, for Christ's sake!
"F-Fuck... I got my right arm back?"
I clench my fist. Hard. Just to feel it.
No pain. No crack. Just contained power, like a molten combat glove.
"This is a fucking evolutionary speciality? Full regeneration?!"
I chuckle. A nervous, slightly hysterical laugh. The kind that precedes a murder or a final boss transformation.
"I mean, thanks System, for once you're giving me a bonus that doesn't make my eyes bleed!
I hold out my arms like a shonen heroine who can feel the opening starting up in the background.
"I'm going to be able to fight with two hands now... TWO HANDS."
I still have this little smile at the corner of my lips. Because clearly, I've won a rare card in the survival deck.
Evolution + arm recovery, it's not a dream come true, is it?
OK, let's take a little break.
"Right. Let's concentrate on the essentials. Like not dying in three seconds and, above all, seeing the visual change."
I look at my arms again.
The skin is even darker, the red highlights brighter.
And this sensation... as if I were heavier. More dense. More OP.
A mutant tank-demon in berserk mode.
"I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy this."
I look around for a puddle, but there's nothing. Nada. Not even a little reflection to check my outfit.
"Fucking hell, what bad luck! Not even a mirror for the entrance to the stage!
[ Suggested objective: climb to a higher layer of the Labyrinth. High risk of danger if you stagnate. ]
"Yeah, yeah... You've already said that."
I cross my arms, eyes squinting, brain still in semi-coffee-break mode.
"But for once... maybe you're not wrong."
I'd heard weird noises before.
A demonic lullaby that I'd picked up? With disgusting sucking noises in the background!
"Yeah. Clearly. There's monsters waking up with extra divine power, angry tentacle bonuses, and carnivorous singing arms."
My back creaks like an old piece of Ikea furniture assembled with rusty nails. My muscles tense up, my senses are... too sharp.
It feels like every beat of my heart makes the walls vibrate.
Or maybe it's just my stomach. I haven't eaten since... since... I don't even know.
I look at the corpse of my enemy.
"Buddy, today you helped me evolve... so you're going to be my McDonald's. With extra blood sauce."
I thought I'd have to force it. That it would be a pain to bite into, like a malnourished zombie...
But no. My new claws cut like Japanese blades on steroids.
Flesh rips off in slimy shreds, bones creak like misused chopsticks.
What does it taste like? A mix of raw meat, iron and pure survival instinct.
Disgusting... and divine at the same time.
I eat everything. Tendons, muscles, guts... even the eye.
It explodes in my mouth with a little plop that's not very halal.
When I've finished, all that's left are the bones.
And yes, I'm clean and efficient. A carnivore at demon level.
"That was fucking delicious."
I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. It's still red, sticky, but really? I couldn't care less.
"Okay. Mission 'up' engaged."
And as a bonus, with a bit of luck, I'll finally come across a bloody puddle, a reflective surface, a broken mirror, a metal spoon, something...
I mean, if there were spoons or mirrors, I'd start to worry.
"Because right now, I've evolved, I've got two horns, I feel like I could smash a tank with my bare hands, but I haven't even seen my face."
I stop for a second, because now my mind is going mad.
"What if I look like a hentai boss?!"
No, really, that would be weird, but okay.
"I'd live with that."
I decide to walk, and leave where I was as quickly as possible, each step echoing in the heavy, oppressive air.
"Oh, my speed, has it improved or what?"
Wait, can I ask the system... maybe a profile panel like in basic isekai?
"System! Can you show me my profile?"
[Race: Proto Oni - Instinctive Deflection]
[Name: Unassigned]
[Origin: Unknown.]
"Nah, not that! Like my skill list... or something!"
[Refused]
"Rejected? What do you mean, refused???"
[ The system only offers this feature to the human and demon races and creatures with significant potential. ]
"So I'm always this slammed to the ground?"
No response. Clearly the system is fucking with me!
I mean, I'm not going to start fighting something that destroys its own creator! It'd blow me up in 30 seconds flat.
At a crossroads, I finally find a puddle. It was black and oily.
"Do they really think I'm stupid?
As if I was going to get anywhere near a place that wasn't at all suspicious...
But... I'm heading for it.
I lean in a little more, a slightly over-confident smile on my lips. I've evolved, I'm supposed to be the ultimate fucking monster now, aren't I?
The black water is getting murky, but I don't care. I'm supposed to be invincible, nothing can stop me.
But when my reflection appears, however distorted, I freeze.
It's not me.
This isn't me. Well, yes, it's me... but version 2.0, evil upgrade, like a fucking boss at the end of the game.
Two twisted horns, my skin black, almost... glistening underwater. The colour, the texture, it's all disgusting, but at the same time... powerful.
Like a demon straight out of a manga or a nightmare. I blink, half in disbelief.
"Oh fuck... this is freaky, I'm going to end up looking like a Demon Slayer demon."
I sit up abruptly, a smile on my face.
"But hey, I like it! In isekai, every time, they want to become the ultimate hottie so they can have the princess at their feet, so..."
I laugh at myself, but like, really.
Me, a princess? More like a fucking end-of-level monster.
I move a little closer to the water, watching that reflection more closely, like a distorted film playing over and over in my head.
It's me all right, it's just... it's not the me I imagined.
I don't have to be a classic beauty, I don't have to have the body of a wood elf to please people.
I've got what it takes. Horns. Demon skin. Claws sharp enough to cut through anything.
I straighten up even more, then turn on my heels. I've got to keep going.
I'm not here to be pretty. I'm here to become a legendary monster.
"Wait, a legendary monster? What the fuck is my goal anyway? From the start, I've just been trying to survive, I don't even have a specific goal in mind!"
To rule the world? Flemme. That's just a delusion of a bored boss in a tower.
Destroy the System? I've got nothing against him. He's even super-helpful when he wants to be.
Trying to get back to my world? Why would I want to do that? So I can do my homework instead of eating monster kebabs?
And the last option, the one we see all the time... The guy who pretends he's no good, but in reality hides his power so he can blow it all away in the final battle?
That's fine. It just makes me want to sleep.
"None of these solutions appeal to me.
I decide to start walking again. The slimy ground gurgles under my feet, as if it's grumbling about having to carry me.
"I don't want to rule. I don't want to save anyone. And going back? What for?"
I stare at the empty space in front of me, not really seeing.
"In truth... I just want to see how far I can go. How strong I can become."
A nervous little smile stretches across my lips, almost unhealthy.
"What if that's my goal? Just to go too far? I mean, to survive already too..."
Not for anyone, not for any stupid dream.
Just for me. Because I exist here, now. And as long as I'm breathing, I'm climbing.
"OK. New goal validated: to become a living bug in the System. Something even he doesn't understand."
I raise my fist towards the invisible ceiling of the Labyrinth, in a theatrical and slightly stupid gesture.
"And then what? We'll see."
Because before you can make sense of it all... you've got to survive. And to do that, you need to be powerful, which is quite logical.
And then... there probably won't be any intrigue for a while.
The gods are dead, and I don't have a bunch of ball-breaking humans around to mess things up!
I stop dead in my tracks.
"Speaking of humans, where are my parents?
I stare into the emptiness in front of me, as if an answer is going to come out of the wall. Spoiler: no.
"I mean, I'm half-Oni, right? So... I've got to have a human parent somewhere, haven't I? It's not like the horns just magically grow on their own. Well... whatever."
A nervous chuckle escapes me. This world is so weird that even that would make sense.
"System? Do you know who my parents are?"
[ Searching for accessible information... ]
Oh ? Oh oh oh ? I move closer to a wall as if I can pick up the divine Wi-Fi better.
Will the System finally make itself useful?
[Result: Data incomplete. Identity of Oni parent: unknown. Identity of human parent: unknown. Current status: the System was installed late. No data available. ]
"...Ah. That's just great. Even the great cosmic System doesn't know who spawned me. I'm literally a 404 error.
Anyway, the System told me there was a backlog in the Great Labyrinth of Elroe, so maybe I really was born here.
Or maybe I was projected here when I was born... but why isn't my body that of a baby then?
I shake my head.
"In fact, it's perfect. The cliché of the abandoned child with dark powers? I'm right in the middle of it. Now all I need to do is meet an old sensei and unlock my level 2 transformation."
I look up at the ceiling - or whatever's in its place.
"Well... Mum? Dad? If you can hear me... you're a bunch of losers. There you go."
I resume my walk, a slightly too wide smile on my lips.
"How much do you want to bet I'll embarrass them if they ever see me?"
...Yeah, come on, stop. I've got to stop thinking about this kind of shit. Let's pretend I'm the heroine of an isekai and everything revolves around me. Classic. Of course it is.
And it's right at that moment that something - that I haven't seen, felt or sensed - hits me full force.
It wasn't a blow, nor was it a slap. It's a fucking living catapult that crushes me with the grace of a crazy truck going 200 miles an hour.
You know the kind of truck that sends you straight to fantasy Japan? Well, he had a brother. And that brother dislocated me.
I can feel my ribs bending, but literally. Like soggy cardboard.
The shock empties my lungs in one fell swoop and I go flying. I'm flying, yeah. Not like a free bird in the sky, but like a sack of meat with no destiny.
And then - BAM. My back explodes against the opposite wall.
A foul sound of flesh against rock. The wall didn't flinch. I, on the other hand... bend.
A surreal pain shoots right through me. Something between being torn apart, drowned in acid and barbecued with a Taser. All at the same time. All through my body.
No air, no words. My vision flickers like a dying light bulb. The kind that freaks you out in horror films.
My brain screams. My body just agonises in silence.
"F-fucking hell... Even my Perception of Danger ability is useless... Well, it's level 1, yeah, but that means this shit surpasses it."
"Wait..."
I start coughing.
A geyser of blood escapes my mouth, splattering the floor as if I'd just lost a bet with my organs.
"Does that mean this thing... outwits dragons?"
My lips tremble. It's not a real question. It's a desperate attempt to rationalise the absurd.
"Nah. Nah nah nah. It couldn't be. That would be... annoying."
Awkward. You betcha. It's the apocalypse in level 1 solo character mode with a foam sword.
I stare in the direction of the attack. And there... a fucking snake. A snake. A snake!
"FUCK, in my old world, snakes weren't that big!
Are you serious? Is this some kind of joke? It looks like a snake, but a kaiju fusion version. A long, sinuous figure, shiny as a dirty mirror, gliding across the floor with the grace of a reptile on steroids. It was almost a challenge to the human imagination: "Hey, you've never seen a snake that big, but have you ever seen an over-hormoned anaconda?" Well, there's your answer.
"Not stronger than a dragon... just more vicious?
That makes sense to me. After all, the dragon's attack wasn't deliberate, and it was far enough away. The skill had time to work.
Yeah. I may have been in a rotten maze with creatures each more bizarre than the last, but I wasn't going to let a snake do me in. I mean, a snake. I don't know, but in theory it should be weaker than a dragon, shouldn't it?
It should be... but that thing had the speed of a torpedo boat and the instinct of an assassin. Okay, that's fine, the speed, I've already written that down.
"He's... he's fast. Just fast."
Fast as a kid in a sweet shop, and as unpredictable as a country Wi-Fi.
A bullet, but in the flesh, and he wasn't going to warn me by flashing fireworks before tearing me to pieces.
"What about my bloody Danger Perception? Nothing. Zero. Nada. It's as if my body decided to say to itself, "No, not today, we're resting." "
That's what life's about. You think you've got power and then, poof. The System tells you: "Sorry, you're not OP enough for this part of the game.
"Okay, we note: need to level-up this skill. Quickly."
My claws tightened like blades, but at that moment something primordial struck me: it was now or never.
A flash of instinct went through my brain. One message: "Get up or die".
That really is the basic motivation, isn't it? But this time, I had no intention of dying like a moron, or doing the work for that ridiculous snake.
Fuck, I'd evolved! I thought that after destroying all the creatures in the labyrinth, I'd have some peace of mind. Like, now I pick up monsters as if they were dust. But it's not like that. No, I land on a snake that's way beyond my fucking skill level.
No, it wasn't supposed to happen like this. This snake was going to have to take my rage in its face, and I wasn't going to do it any favours.
The difference between us? I knew I was going to make him suffer before I ended up killing him.
And that... made me fucking smile.