Chapter 3: You've Got a Good Eye!
A love-hate tension between the fujoshi and the goofball...
Even as a godslayer, Hikigaya found this extremely entertaining. The gossip fire had ignited within him.
"Hachiman-kun, I heard you entered a martial arts competition and even won the championship. Congratulations." The fujoshi pushed up her glasses.
Under the gossip-seeking demon eyes of a modern-day godslayer, her expression remained completely unchanged.
If a group of magicians saw this, they'd probably weep in despair.
No joke—it would be proof they're just cowards, right?
Well… they were cowards, to be fair.
"Martial arts tournament… oh, right." Hikigaya paused for a moment, but quickly caught on.
What the hell? Who came up with this?
Sure, he lied to Komachi to cover things up, but wasn't this going a bit too far? What, did someone actually stage a whole tournament and have someone impersonate him?
"By the way, a lot of people have been wanting to challenge you recently," Hayama's buddy Tobe, now fully revived, rubbed his chin in mock thought. "Lemme think… what was that guy's name again? Ah whatever, I forgot. Anyway, he looked like a total delinquent. Honestly, if he really does find you, I kinda pity the guy."
"Haha…"
Hikigaya laughed dryly.
What delinquent dumbass? I could slap your guts out with one hand, are you kidding me?
A challenge? You're joking.
...And now he was thinking about his dear pain-in-the-ass little sister again…
"Is Hikigaya Hachiman here?"
Suddenly, the classroom door slammed open.
A tall male student walked in.
Okay, calling him a "student" was only because he was in uniform—but that face...
Uncle, who even are you?
"Hikigaya Hachiman? I've been looking for you for a long time!" The "student" brightened the moment he saw Hikigaya and strode straight toward him.
Only to be stopped.
"Is there a problem?" Hayama blocked his way, his tone cold.
To be fair, for someone usually all smiles, Hayama's sudden serious face was pretty intimidating.
"Hachiman doesn't have time for people like you. Also, coming to pick a fight just because someone else won a tournament? That's just childish, Tsukuba-senpai."
"So you're Hayama, huh." The guy named Tsukuba glanced at Hayama. "I hate guys like you—coasting on your looks. A man's worth is in his strength. Or are you scared of losing face in front of your classmates?"
Watching the two clash like that, Hikigaya couldn't help but facepalm.
Oh Hayama, your urge to be relevant is getting desperate—you're nearly on Di Jun's level! Look closer, man—this dude's here to make me look cool, okay?
Not that I even want to use such a low-tier prop...
Man, I miss those days with the Little Bear.
I could toss these dumb NPCs to him and still keep my mysterious aura.
Shaking his head, Hikigaya stepped forward, ready to chuck this idiot out the window.
Third floor or not, there was grass down there—probably wouldn't die.
And even if he did, so what? Delinquents like him just lower the average human decency anyway.
"Wait." Someone grabbed his arm—it was Miura, holding him tightly.
"Don't get involved with ape-like creatures like him. You'll catch the stupidity." Miura clung to him, clearly wanting to keep him far away from Tsukuba.
"Heh, you think just 'cause you're a girl I won't hit you?" Tsukuba was clearly losing patience. "Hikigaya Hachiman, come fight me fair and square, and I'll let the others go. I've been holding in this rage too long."
With a wave of his hand, he shoved Hayama aside, knocking him to the floor.
"Ah! Hayama-kun!"
"Hayama, are you okay?!"
In the stunned silence that followed, a swarm of girls suddenly rushed over to Hayama, burying him in concern.
Only a tuft of his blond hair could still be seen.
Judging by the sparkles in their eyes, they were clearly not worried—more like thrilled.
Damn... the real pretty boys can still pick up girls even after a butt-plant on the floor!
Feeling like the author had just forcibly nerfed him, Hikigaya was definitely not pleased.
Mood ruined.
He made a decision—not going to toss the guy. He was going to kick him.
But... today just wasn't his day to act cool, because—
"Tsukuba-senpai, what do you think you're doing?!"
Another familiar figure stormed in.
Hikigaya cringed; Tsukuba turned pale like he'd seen a ghost.
"Shirahama Kenichi!" Tsukuba gritted his teeth. "You're meddling again? I admit I can't beat you, but what, you gonna protect this guy who hides behind women forever?!"
"I'm trying to save you, senpai…" Kenichi said, exasperated. He looked at Tsukuba like he was a tutorial mob from his early grind days. "Hikigaya-kun is at least a hundred times stronger than I am."
"Impossible… he's just a pretty boy! Just like that blond guy!"
Hearing that, Kenichi rolled his eyes.
Hikigaya, though?
He was grinning like his face was about to fall off from laughing.
"Well, well. Tsukuba, right?" He patted Miura's hand.
Her face turned bright red and she let go, unable to stop him as he withdrew his arm.
Then Hikigaya walked right up to the clearly-panicking Tsukuba, patted him on the shoulder, and beamed.
"You've got a good eye. I like that."
Every pat made Tsukuba's face go a shade paler.
Kenichi's heart pounded, fearing a kaiju-vs-fly-level beatdown was imminent.
But Hikigaya was merciful. All he did was leave Tsukuba's entire arm numb and useless.
That alone was enough to crush his will. Forget fighting spirit—Tsukuba was ready to prostrate himself.
But Hikigaya, still riding high on the compliment he got earlier, decided to save the guy's dignity.
So, under everyone's shocked stares, he casually slung his arm over Tsukuba's shoulder and walked out of the classroom with him like they were best bros.
Only Kenichi, who dared to sneak behind and watch, saw the real ending: Hikigaya kicked the guy straight into the girls' bathroom.
The resulting chorus of screams was... poetic.
Seeing that, Kenichi couldn't help but recall something his old master had said back at Ryōzanpaku:
"Ken-chan, looks like we were being used in that whole Hikigaya Hachiman matter.
But based on this outcome, I think I know his true identity now.
It's so unbelievable, you wouldn't understand even if I told you. Just pretend it never happened."
To be honest, Kenichi—who usually feared nothing—was seriously intrigued by that.
But once he abandoned his initial impressions, he realized something: Hikigaya didn't seem like one of those "Yomi warriors" at all.
The eyes of Yomi warriors are always dull and lifeless, like they've abandoned hope.
But that kind of aura? Hikigaya didn't have it in the slightest.
"Yo, isn't this Shirahama? Sorry about last time." Lost in thought, Kenichi was startled by a pat on the shoulder. Turning around, he saw Hikigaya smirking at him.
"You're really strong…" Kenichi suddenly felt a wave of helplessness.
He'd always known he lacked martial arts talent—but the sense of total helplessness, of not even being able to dream of surpassing someone, was rare.
Especially when they seemed… just like him.
"You followed me all the way here—planning to beat that guy up? Forget it. He probably won't dare cause trouble at school again."
"No, no, no..." Shirahama Kenichi waved his hands frantically, then said, "I'll be going now!"
With that, he hurried off in a panic, while Hikigaya watched his fleeing figure with an amused expression.