I saluted like an idiot. "Hydro Daddy! I better leave now! Don't forget to wear a proper suit on your wedding day!"
Ayato just chuckled, the way only a dangerously elegant man can chuckle. You know, the type who probably sips tea while planning three civil wars and a charity auction at the same time.
"It's not like I oppose it," he said smoothly. "After all, the Clan does indeed need an heir. I don't want my sister to take on that burden."
He turned his head slightly, then glanced at me with those calculating but kind eyes. "But tell me... why do you want to oppose the Raiden Shogun's ideals so much?"
I blinked.
For a moment, the world quieted. No jokes. No dumb puns. Just a moment of honest truth.
I smiled. Genuinely. Not the feral gremlin smile I usually wear.
"Because I just don't agree with how much suffering she's causing the people of Teyvat," I said. "This world... it's mine now too."
Ayato's gaze softened. "Please be assured. I will do my best to aid you in silence. My hands and feet are tied being the Yashiro Commissioner and all, but... please, put your trust in me."
My heart burst into metaphorical confetti.
I gave him a big ol' thumbs-up. "Of course I trust you the most! You're the greatest man in Teyvat for me!"
He nodded once, and smiled. "I highly appreciate it."
Bless this man.
Anyway, off I went! Sprinting down the Kamisato Estate like I didn't just maybe arrange a future marriage. My coat fluttered behind me like a dramatic anime protagonist. I could hear wedding bells in the background—mostly because I was making the sound with my mouth.
"Dun-dun-dun-duuun~ Dun-dun-duun-dun~!" I hummed as I skipped.
But wait—hold up. OH NO.
I skidded to a stop, almost tripped over my own dreams.
RIGHT. THE SHRINE. LUMINE. PAIMON. THE PLAN.
I slapped my forehead. "Right, they're supposed to meet me at the Grand Narukami Shrine!"
I dashed like the wind. Well, maybe like a strong breeze with asthma. But still, I ran.
The mountain loomed ahead. The Grand Narukami Shrine stood up there all majestic and holy-like, judging me from above like, You forgot, didn't you? Disgraceful human.
I stood at the base of the mountain, waiting.
I crossed my arms, then uncrossed them. I paced. I plucked a leaf and threw it like a shuriken. I started doing squats for no reason.
And finally—FINALLY—Lumine and Paimon appeared.
They looked a little frazzled. Maybe because, I don't know, the entire country's political system was in shambles and we might be about to punch a literal goddess.
"Hey!" I called out, waving.
Paimon blinked. "Oh, there you are! We were wondering if you forgot again!"
"Excuse you," I said, placing a dramatic hand on my chest. "I have the memory of an elephant. A majestic elephant."
Lumine tilted her head. "Didn't you forget your pants once during that one Liyue incident?"
"THAT WAS ONE TIME. And technically, it was a very long tunic, okay?"
They both sighed.
I started walking up the mountain path, motioning for them to follow.
"C'mon, c'mon! I'll explain everything on the way. And don't worry, this mountain has stairs. Unlike those cursed mountains in Liyue. Whoever designed those deserves to step on a Lego."
We began our sacred ascent. Step by step.
"So," I began, stretching like I was about to give the best TED Talk in Teyvat, "you know how we were originally just trying to get some info and dip, right? Then somehow I ended up making a deal with Kamisato Ayato."
"YOU DID WHAT?!" Paimon screeched.
"Relax. It was a cool deal. Very diplomatic. Very heroic. I might've also arranged his future marriage to a certain feisty tailor from Fontaine."
Lumine blinked. "...You arranged a marriage."
"Don't say it like that. It makes me sound reckless."
"You are reckless."
"True. But in a charming way."
Paimon flailed. "WHY would you do that?! Ayaka is going to murder you with an ice bridge."
"To be fair," I said, putting a finger up, "Ayato didn't say no. In fact, he said something about the Clan needing an heir and not wanting Ayaka to carry the burden."
Paimon: processing.exe
Lumine: judgmental squint.
"ANYWAY!" I clapped my hands. "The important part is this: he agreed to help us. Stealth-style. No fireworks, no announcements. Ayato's our silent MVP."
"So what now?" Lumine asked.
"Now? We go to the Shrine, meet Yae Miko, and maybe, maybe, I get electrocuted for being annoying. But it's okay! We have plot armor."
Paimon groaned. "That's not how plot armor works..."
I just grinned. Oh, my dear flying sidekick. If only you knew the chaos I planned.
We were halfway up now. My legs were mildly screaming.
"How many steps are there again?" I wheezed.
"You said there were stairs!" Paimon yelled.
"Yes! Stairs! Not how many! That's a separate trauma!"
By the time we reached the top, I was ninety percent sweat, five percent regret, and five percent love for Ayato's sleeves. But the view? Worth it.
There it stood. Grand Narukami Shrine. Home of elegance, foxes, and probably sass levels over 9000.
"Ready?" I asked.
Lumine nodded.
Paimon looked unsure.
I cracked my knuckles.
"Let's go cause some divine-level drama."
So there we were, climbing up the trail to the Grand Narukami Shrine like a trio of broke adventurers who forgot to bring teleport waypoints.
The wind was nice, birds were chirping, and the smell of pine made me feel like I was about to walk into a tea commercial—until I remembered this wasn't a peaceful hiking trip. Nope. We were on a mission. A very confusing, emotionally confusing mission. And not the kind you can solve by punching a Hilichurl.
"Alright," I said, turning to look at Lumine and Paimon while hopping over a mossy stone. "So how'd it go with those three visionless people?"
Paimon, still floating and somehow not even winded (how??), gave me a pout. "It was… kind of sad."
"Very," Lumine added. Her eyes were distant. Haunted. Like she'd seen the abyss stare back. Again.
"Tejima, the old guard in Konda Village," Paimon said, "he just… forgot why he stayed there. He didn't even know why he was guarding the place anymore."
"And then there was that samurai," Lumine added. "He helped enforce the Vision Hunt Decree... but now he's just full of regret. He wanders aimlessly, wondering why he ever followed those orders."
"The swordmaster too," Paimon chimed in. "He trains every day to be the strongest, but now it's like he's just going through the motions. No reason. No drive."
I let out a low whistle. "Yikes."
I raised my hand dramatically, halting them like I was about to announce something legendary—which, in fairness, I was.
"Wait. Before I begin the Ancient Wisdom of Shigeru, let me explain in Razor speak. You know, for clarity."
I cleared my throat, puffed out my chest like a proud forest wolf, and grunted, "People… no vision… no goal. No dream. Like wolf with no hunt. Like me… with no snacks."
Paimon blinked. "...That actually makes a lot of sense?"
Lumine tried not to laugh, but I caught her smirk. Victory.
Then I raised a finger, my brain already cooking up one of my signature, incredibly intelligent analogies. "Okay, picture this. Floating Emergency Food, imagine you have a big juicy block of meat."
Paimon immediately perked up. "Okay!"
"You're ready to cook it. Make the best steak of your life. Maybe even with mushroom sauce."
"Oooh…"
"But then," I said dramatically, "just as you're about to slap it onto the pan, I—BAM—snatch the meat right outta your hands."
"Hey! That's just mean!"
"But how would you feel?" I asked, leaning closer.
"Uh…" she blinked. "Paimon would be mad?"
I grinned. "That's a given. But what else?"
"OHHHH! Paimon gets it now!" she gasped. "If there's no meat, then there's no reason to cook the steak! That's like the Vision! If they take it away, you lose your reason for doing what you love!"
"Exactly," I said, finger guns blazing. "You nailed it. It's not possession. It's emptiness. Like stealing the soul from the soup. No flavor. No salt. Just... sadness."
Even Lumine gave a small chuckle. "That's actually… a good analogy."
"See?" I puffed out my chest. "I'm not just biceps and bubble tea, you know."
Paimon tapped her chin. "But if we already know the answer, why are we still going to the shrine?"
I sighed. "Because that smug fluffball fox that works for Sword Booba probably has something extra to say. She always does."
"Yae Miko?" Lumine asked.
"The one and only. Trust me, she's got that 'I know something you don't' energy."
Eventually, after a climb that almost made me regret my choice of fashion over function (seriously, who wears this much black on a sunny day?), we reached the steps of the shrine.
And wouldn't you know it? Damon, the swordmaster they were talking about, was already there. Dude looked like a walking existential crisis. His followers were trying to talk to him, but he was just… zoned out.
Cue dramatic entrance: Yae Miko herself. Ears perky. Smug level: maximum.
She gave her usual sly smile and explained everything—how losing a Vision is like losing the very essence of your ambition. She even compared it to a divine punishment or some philosophical punishment from the heavens. I don't know, I was too busy trying not to roll my eyes.
But her words worked. Damon and the others eventually nodded and said their farewells. It was kind of bittersweet.
Then, like clockwork, a shrine maiden approached us. Her expression said it all.
"Lady Yae Miko wishes to speak with you."
I turned to Lumine and Paimon, grinning from ear to ear.
"Told you so."
So there we were—on top of the mountain, surrounded by sakura petals and spiritual fox vibes—and who else should greet us but the high-and-mighty pink menace herself.
"...So, my intuition was correct," Lady Fox said, stepping out like she was on the runway of the Electro Fashion Week. "The wind that blows from afar carries fresh life into these shores."
Yeah, alright. That sounded poetic and all but let's not forget who we're talking to.
I crossed my arms and casually leaned back, like the cool guy I clearly am.
"Correction, Lady Fox," I said. "We came here illegally."
That earned me a smirk. A dangerous one.
"You," she said, eyes narrowing ever so slightly. "You're quite interesting."
Uh-oh.
Red alert.
Every instinct in my dumb little survival brain screamed. This was it. This was how I died. Not in some glorious battle, not in a tragic backstory flashback—no, I was going to be turned into a blushing mascot character for a fox shrine.
I've seen what she did to Gorou. That poor general. That manly, woof-woofing bastion of masculinity. Turned into Ms. Hina like it was Tuesday.
"H-hehe, actually I'm not interesting," I stammered, backing up exactly one step. "So very not interesting. In fact, I'm the least interesting person in this entire nation. Like. Mildew levels of boring. I'm like a cabbage. No, less than that. A wilted cabbage."
She didn't stop smiling.
Terrifying.
"Anyway," she said, casually brushing a lock of hair behind her ear like she wasn't plotting my doom. "For us to meet now is premature. Nevertheless, you set foot on these islands precisely at the right moment."
She walked toward the Sacred Sakura Tree. The petals were practically twinkling around her. It was like watching a villain's cutscene in slow motion.
"Hmm... I have high hopes for you three. Don't disappoint me."
Paimon shivered so hard I thought she was going to short-circuit and fall from the sky.
"Ooh… Lady Yae seems to have taken a real interest in us," she whispered. "She seems super mysterious... Paimon's so curious what she really meant by all of that."
"Nope," I said, turning around on my heel like I was about to book it down Mt. Yougou. "Don't mind it. We can come back here another time. Preferably never. Let's just head back to the Kamisato Estate."
Lumine gave me a side glance but didn't protest. Thank the Archons.
We started heading down, but as we passed Yae Miko, I couldn't help it. I stopped beside her, leaned just enough for her to hear, and muttered:
"Don't worry. I'll pull your miserable Archon out of her own Plane of Depression—even if I have to kick her ass out of it."
Her eyes widened.
Just for a moment.
Just long enough to know I hit something real.
Before she could fire back with a quip or turn me into a shrine maiden, I had already rejoined Lumine and Paimon, hands behind my head like I hadn't just declared war on an Archon's mental health crisis.
Behind me, I barely heard her voice.
"Make sure your bite's as loud as your bark, kid."
I didn't look back.
I just grinned.
On the way down, Lumine raised an eyebrow at me.
"What did Yae Miko mean by that?"
I shrugged. "She's just like that. She's a fox, after all. Can't trust anything with tails and riddles."
"Except Diona," Paimon said.
"Especially Diona. She's a cat."
Eventually, we reached the bottom and started heading back toward the Kamisato Estate.
The petals were still falling. The breeze was nice. The sun was starting to dip behind the mountains, casting golden light over Inazuma.
In my head though?
Chaos.
That Archon up there, wallowing in her emo dimension, sulking while her people suffer?
Yeah. Nah. That ain't flying with me.
I'll drag her out of there if I have to punch a lightning bolt in the face. If I have to threaten to delete the entire boba supply in Inazuma. If I have to sacrifice a random Hilichurl in the middle of Chinju Forest.
So be it.
Because what she's doing?
It's not strength.
It's just plain stupid.
And I'm gonna be the idiot who fixes it.
Whether she likes it or not.
_________________________
End of Chapter 49
Quests Completed:
*Make sure the Hydro Daddy is willing to be tied with the sassy lady in Fontaine
*Investigated the cases of lost ambition among Visionless individuals
*Met with Yae Miko at the Grand Narukami Shrine
*Escaped potential shrine maiden transformation (barely)
*Declared emotional war on the Raiden Shogun (bold move, cotton)
Rewards:
*500 Adventure EXP
* +10 Insight into Fox Lady Psychology (use with caution)
*-1 Emergency Food Morale (Lost Steak Analogy)
*Wedding Invitation (from Pending to Soon)
Special Reward:
"Electro Motivation" – The will to slap sense into gods has increased.
Achievement:
"Yae's Eyes on Me"
- Survive a full conversation with Yae Miko after catching her interest... and live to tell the tale.