After what felt like the entire universe had conspired to make me its personal punching bag, I finally found myself alone on a bench. Well, alone except for the occasional passing guard who gave me the kind of stare usually reserved for criminals, but whatever. At least I wasn't getting arrested immediately. Small wins.
They said they'd be gone for just a while. Said they'd check out something real quick. And like the responsible, non-chaotic member of this party that I definitely am (please ignore previous arrest warrants), I decided to stay put.
On a bench.
Like a civilian.
Like someone who isn't ready to throw hands at a Hilichurl with a debt collection badge.
Honestly, I was still hoping they wouldn't come back with the dreaded news of us getting thrown into jail for "being suspicious foreigners" or something equally annoying.
But I wasn't feeling all that optimistic about it.
Not after what I'd seen of Inazuma's "hospitality."
I sat there. Watched birds. Contemplated life. Watched a butterfly land on my toe.
And then, naturally, I fell asleep.
Again.
Now, to be fair, the nap was glorious. 10/10. Would recommend. Ritou benches? Surprisingly comfy. No splinters. Smelled like tea and mild poverty.
But then...
"Shigeru!"
I blinked awake.
"Oh, you're back," yawned. "Did you guys cause any major problems? Get arrested yet? Or maybe I should ask if you were caught in some underground rebellion I didn't know about?"
Lumine gave me the same look you give someone who just asked if milk is wet.
Paimon floated with hands on hips. "Nope. Nothing major. Just overthrew a small part of the government."
"...Excuse me?"
"We helped with tax reforms," Lumine added, like that was somehow better.
I stared.
"YOU'RE IN THE TAX COMMITTEE NOW!?"
"Technically no," Paimon said. "We just helped Thoma fix the corruption in the Kanjou Commission using Yashiro Commissions name."
I blinked. Slowly.
"I fell asleep for three hours and you joined the IRS!?"
Lumine: "It was important."
"Yeah! And we helped Thoma!" Paimon chimed.
I stared harder. Deep into the abyss. Into the spiraling void of bureaucratic nightmares.
"Oh," I said at last. "Right. That was supposed to happen. Canon stuff."
I Shrugged.
"...So where's The Kamisato Housemaid?"
"You mean Thoma?" Lumine asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, our Lord and Savior of Domestic Tasks."
"He left after we told him we weren't here to help with the Vision Hunt Decree," she explained.
My jaw dropped.
"You WHAT."
"We just wanted an audience with the Shogun, that's all!" Paimon huffed.
I slapped my own face dramatically. "You absolute donut holes. The reason we're here is to help them. Help them. That Booba Sword Archon can wait—we'll get that audience eventually!"
Paimon blinked. "You're calling the Electro Archon a Booba Sword?"
"It's a term of endearment," I replied, solemnly.
Lumine pinched her nose like she was getting a headache just by standing next to me. Which is fair.
Anyway.
We needed to find Thoma again.
"But there's a problem," Lumine said.
I sighed.
"Let me guess," I muttered. "Outlanders can't leave Ritou."
Paimon nodded gravely.
"Yep."
I threw my hands up. "Awesome! Wonderful! Just peachy! Love this for us!"
So now we were stuck.
Locked in bureaucratic purgatory.
Trapped in the prettiest island prison with the most polite customs officers and enough red tape to hogtie Morax himself.
Fantastic.
"Well," I said, standing and stretching again. "Time to do what we do best."
"What's that?" Paimon asked.
I grinned.
"Cause chaos until it counts as a diplomatic solution."
And thus began another round of classic Team Disaster Protocol: break laws creatively until the plot moves forward.
Business as usual.
***
So there we are. Still in Ritou. Still legally alive. And still stuck in the worst kind of tourist trap: the kind with swords and border control.
Thoma had vanished. Again. Classic. And here I was, trying to play responsible for once. Y'know, the guy who didn't punch any guards today. Yet.
I paced around like a man with a plan, except I didn't. Lumine and Paimon were just sipping tea like they hadn't just overthrown a corrupt tax committee in a few hours while I was drooling on a bench.
"Okay," I muttered, thinking out loud. "How does one track down a very polite housemaid-slash-samurai with perfect manners and a disappearing act better than my GPA during finals week..."
Then it hit me. Like an angry Hilichurl with a grudge.
"WAIT A MINUTE!"
Lumine blinked. Paimon choked on air. (Which is a talent.)
"You two!" I pointed dramatically. "Didn't Thoma give you something? Like a token or an invite?"
Paimon tilted her head. "Yeah, he gave Lumine an invitation at a teahouse. Why?"
I smirked like a man who just found a cheat code.
"Perfect. That's our ticket. We just have to find a way to escape Ritou!"
Silence.
Then chaos.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ESCAPE RITOU!?" Paimon screamed.
"Yeah," Lumine added. "There are guards everywhere. And we're... outlanders."
Ah, yes. The famous Ritou Prison Vibes. I could practically hear the passive-aggressive tourism pamphlets: Welcome to Inazuma. Please do not move. Ever.
But listen. I had a plan.
We tried the normal way first. You know, like good little citizens (Which we clearly are not). We walked up to the checkpoint, smiled politely, and said things like:
"Hello, sir. We are here to visit the Kamisato Estate. Kindly let us through so we may frolic in the freedom of the mainland."
The guard stared at us like we just asked to borrow his socks.
"No outlanders beyond this point."
"But it's important!" Paimon pleaded.
"Denied."
"Come on, we have connections—"
"Denied."
"We have snacks."
"Still denied."
So that went well.
I rubbed my temples. "Okay. Option B. We go to the Kanjou Commission and ask them to let us through. They might give us permission. Might."
Paimon perked up. "Really?! That sounds better!"
"Yeah," I nodded. "But I also kinda want to skip that part."
Lumine gave me a look. That quiet, tired, how dumb is this going to get look.
I cracked my knuckles.
"See... Ritou's closed. But rules?"
Pause.
"Rules have loopholes."
Lumine raised an eyebrow. "And the loophole is...?"
I grinned.
"We become wanted criminals again."
Paimon screamed.
"WHAT?!"
I shrugged. "Look, we're gonna end up in trouble anyway. Might as well go all in. It's tradition at this point."
Lumine sighed. "This is why we're called the Chaos Team."
I held up a finger. "Self-declared Chaos Team, thank you very much. Trademark pending."
We waited until nightfall. Somewhere private. Somewhere shady. Somewhere with suspicious crates and bad lighting. The perfect ambiance for mildly illegal activities.
I crouched behind a rock. Lumine was sharpening her sword with the calm of someone preparing to rob a government building. Paimon looked like she regretted every decision that led her here.
"Okay," I whispered. "Target: that boat. Guarded by two samurai. We knock them out, hop in, row out, and hopefully don't get sliced into sushi on the way."
"Are you sure this is the best plan?" Paimon whispered.
"Of course not," I said proudly. "But it's our plan."
Cue the sneaking music.
We moved like ninjas. If ninjas tripped over crates and got their cloaks stuck on rusty nails.
Lumine was efficient. One swift bonk and her guard went night-night.
I… may have tripped into mine.
"INTRU—MMF!"
I tackled him. There was some flailing. A splash. A lot of bubbles. And then silence.
"He's fine," I said. "Probably."
We jumped into the boat. The sails creaked. The water glowed faintly under the moonlight.
"Freedom," I whispered dramatically. "Smells like wet wood and rebellion."
And so, Team Chaos sailed off into the night.
Where were we going? To find Thoma. To get answers. To sneak our way into political drama and maybe get into a fistfight with an overly poetic Shogunate officer.
All in a day's work.
And as we left the shores of Ritou behind, I looked at my two partners-in-crime and said:
"Alright. If we get arrested again, I'm blaming Paimon."
"WHAT?!"
"Kidding. Kidding. Obviously, I'll blame Lumine."
She kicked me off the bench.
Deserved.
Chaos Team: Wanted Criminals (Again) Arc had officially begun.
Look, escaping Ritou wasn't part of my evening schedule-well maybe it was. But still. I had three goals today: eat, nap, and maybe flirt with Lumine until she stabbed me with her glare. And yet here I am—wanted, illegal, and hungry. Again.
"Lumine, hand me that invitation real quick."
She gave me a suspicious look, probably wondering if I'd eat it out of panic. Reasonable. But I took it anyway, carefully unfolding it like it held the secrets of Teyvat. It didn't. It just had Thoma's neat handwriting and a stamp. The fancy kind.
"Oh. Right. Komore Teahouse! That's where Thoma wants to meet. Why didn't I remember that earlier?"
Paimon floated beside me, arms crossed. "Because you were too busy being dramatic about being left alone on a bench."
"I wasn't dramatic," I protested. "I was manifesting peace."
She stared. Lumine facepalmed.
And so, our merry band of chaos casually strolled toward Inazuma City like we weren't on the most wanted posters probably plastered all over Ritou by now.
Spoiler: We ran into a bunch of ronin.
"Look at that one," one of them said, pointing at me. "He walks like he owns the place."
"I do own my legs," I replied, summoning my sword. "Now get out of my personal space, man."
They didn't. We fought. We won. Not a surprise. Lumine even flipped one of them into a barrel. Stylish.
Oh, and there was a hilichurl just vibing nearby. Just chilling, minding its business.
I kicked it.
Paimon screamed. "Shigeru! Why?!"
"He looked at me funny!"
"He doesn't have eyelids!"
"Exactly! Creepy."
After that traumatic event (for the hilichurl), we finally made it to Inazuma City. Our vibe was illegal, but our pace was confident. I led the way, naturally.
"Come on, let's go see our Kamisato Housemaid."
"You mean Thoma," Lumine deadpanned.
"Same thing."
We reached the Komore Teahouse, which looked suspiciously peaceful for a place likely involved in underground rebellion. As we approached, a cute but grumpy receptionist stepped in front of the door.
"Sorry, we don't serve the general public. I'm afraid you'll have to leave."
Paimon gasped. "Wait! We're not the general public!"
I jumped in. "Yeah! We're so not the general public, we cause chaos everywhere—oops."
Lumine smacked me upside the head. "Stop helping."
The receptionist, Kozue, raised an eyebrow. "You must be a couple of wandering outlanders who snuck into the nation... judging by your attire."
"Hey! Don't judge criminals by their clothing!"
Another smack.
Lumine handed over the invitation without a word, which I admit was a power move.
Kozue examined it. "Hmm. The Yashiro Commission seal... This must be from Mr. Thoma. It seems there's more to you than meets the eye."
"There's also less," Lumine muttered, looking at me.
"Rude," I said. "But fair."
Kozue smiled slightly. "In which case, welcome to the Komore Teahouse, a safe haven for the Yashiro Commission."
Paimon puffed up. "Well, that sounds more like it."
Inside, the place smelled of tea, secrets, and possibly dog fur?
"Now that we're here," Paimon looked around, floating higher. "Where's Thoma? Paimon doesn't see him anywhere... Do you think he forgot his promise to meet us?"
"Who forgot their promise? I was beginning to think you'd forgotten about me!"
The voice came from a dog.
"WHAT?!" Paimon yelped. "THOMA TURNED INTO A DOG?!"
I squinted. "Calm down, you two. That's just his furry look-alike. Thoma didn't transform. Probably."
Then, from the back, the real Thoma emerged, looking way too calm for a guy whose new friends have racked up several felonies in less than 24 hours.
"Seems I got caught, huh?"
"Yep. Red handed," I said, grinning.
He chuckled. "Well then, now that you're here..."
I nodded. "Let's talk about business. And maybe rebellion."
And with that, Team Chaos took one step deeper into the boiling teapot of Inazuma's political turmoil. All before having a dinner.
_______________________________
End of chapter 45
Quests Completed:
*Be left behind for just a few hours and wake up to learn your team has dismantled a corrupt commission and joined the Tax Resistance.
*Attempt a peaceful exit from Ritou. Fail. Resort to punching your way through bureaucracy instead.
*Reunite with Thoma at the Komore Teahouse and prepare for the next phase: rebellion, baby.
Sub Quest:
* Fought ronin, bullied a hilichurl, got mistaken as vagabonds. Classic Tuesday.
Rewards:
*1 Yashiro Commission Seal of Entry
*+3 Wanted Posters with Better Mugshots
*+500 Emergency Food's Smug Points
*+1 Reunion with the Kamisato Housemaid (Thoma)
*+1 New Safehouse: Komore Teahouse
*+1 Plot Flag: Rebellion Route Triggered
*+1 old sword (Taken From a Random Ronin)