The next day, Lenore joins Alaric in his study in the evening. It's not a place she's spent much time in, but its dark colors and quiet atmosphere make it feel cozy. He has tea ready with a few light snacks. She's not particularly hungry—having eaten dinner with Alaric not long ago—but the tea helps calm her nerves. While the idea of visiting the capital and seeing her family again after more than a decade is exciting, she's extremely anxious at the thought of facing them.
"Your hands are shaking." Alaric glances at her over the papers in his hands. "Do you not want to go after all?"
Lenore folds her hands together in her lap in an effort to keep them still. "It's not that. It's just... I haven't seen them in so long."
"The letter they sent me made it seem like they really wanted to see you again. I'd dare say they sounded desperate."
"But I'm not the same person I was when I was taken away from them," Lenore says. Somehow, Alaric's stoic—yet slightly curious—expression encourages her to speak about her fears. Although, she suspects that the confusing feelings that have been bubbling up since her fever dreams are contributing to that, too.
Alaric sets his papers down and looks at her for a moment before he responds. "It'd be stranger if you didn't change over the years."
Lenore drops her gaze until she catches sight of her reflection in her teacup, carefully set on the table. "What if they don't like who I am now?"
"Do you think that you won't like who they are now?"
The question is unexpected, but Lenore mulls it over. "Well, I don't know who they are now. I don't have many memories of them left, either. I was only about eight when my uncle took me to his estate."
"I imagine they're feeling the same way you are. People forget. Memories fade. Then, the next time you meet, it can seem like the person in front of you is a stranger. That's not always a bad thing. Think of it as a fresh start."
Her anxieties aren't wiped away, but they feel a bit lighter. "Maybe you're right."
"If you decide you don't want to see them again after this, I can make that happen."
Lenore laughs, the sound unexpected even to her. "I hope that's not how it goes."
"Well, we'll see." Alaric retrieves his papers. "Are you ready to discuss the details of our trip? I know it's not for a while yet. However, it takes time to prepare for the banquet."
"Right. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to distract from why we're meeting."
Alaric waves his hand, letting her know without words that it's nothing to be concerned about. She's not used to talking to somebody who listens to her and offers advice, but it feels nice.
"If we go to the capital, we'll be expected to attend all the big events in addition to the banquet. After all, the emperor's birthday is really just a chance for the imperial family to display their wealth and power."
Alaric lays out the order of events, what's expected from them, and a general idea of what Lenore will need to do beforehand if she wants to be sufficiently prepared.
"Your banquet outfit will be among those that Madam Nelle is making for you. She should have an entire wardrobe done before then, so you can pick what you want to wear beyond the banquet when you see it."
"Wait," Lenore says. "Madam Nelle made my wedding dress with only a few days warning, but you've also been having her create an entire wardrobe? That's too much. I can't accept it."
Alaric shrugs. "You don't have a choice. Nelle has already been paid, and I'm sure that she's put in countless hours working with care, hoping to see you in her designs."
Lenore lets the subject rest, but she's certain that Alaric has done this on purpose. He must've known that her wardrobe brought from Rowanhart is lacking, so he prepared early on to get her measurements for the wedding dress in order to give Madam Nelle all she needs to craft more clothes.
"Does your father have a townhouse in the capital that your family will stay at?" Alaric asks, flipping to a new paper in his stack.
Lenore shakes her head. "I don't remember going to the capital with him, so I'm not sure if he owns property other than the manor."
Alaric writes a note on his paper. "I'll send a letter and ask, then."
"If he doesn't, then he'll have to ask my uncle to stay at his townhouse, won't he?"
"Not necessarily." Alaric takes a drink of his tea, which Lenore doesn't doubt must be rather cold by now. "Owning a townhouse is certainly the most convenient option for nobles who live beyond the capital to use when visiting, but it's not the only option. We can figure out the best choice after learning if the viscount has a townhouse. Otherwise, it's fruitless to speculate."
"What's next to handle?"
When Alaric glances at her, Lenore knows that she's not going to like the next topic.
"Duke Claude Rowanhart and his daughter will most likely be attending the birthday banquet."
Even though Lenore wants to forget about the long years that she spent in that manor—living like a mouse and hoping she wouldn't be noticed in order to stay safe—she knows that it's unreasonable to think that she can live the rest of her life without once seeing them again. "I understand."
"Are you okay with that?" Alaric's voice is surprisingly gentle.
"I don't know what to feel about it," Lenore admits. "Of course, I'd love to never face him again. But I also know that it's not possible if I'm in high society."
"Well, don't worry too much. He can't do anything to you this time."
Lenore nods. "Yes, now I'm the Duchess of Barrowmere, and even he can't treat that title lightly."
Alaric smiles, looking almost proud. "That's true. And remember, I'll be by your side this time."
Somehow, that promise fills Lenore with more confidence than her title.