Yuki's voice still echoed in the room—
"I AM NOT A KIDDO!!"
—and then silence. The air hung heavy with embarrassment, like a thick fog wrapping around him. Yuki lay frozen on his bed, phone pressed against his cheek, heart pounding so loud he was sure Shin could hear it through the call.
On the other end, Shin chuckled softly, that familiar low, lazy voice curling into Yuki's ears like a warm breeze.
"You're so cute when you shout," Shin said. "Like a grumpy little hamster."
"I—I'm not a hamster either!" Yuki hissed, cheeks puffing up. "And stop calling me cute! You're doing it on purpose, aren't you?!"
"Maaaaybe." Shin's voice was unmistakably smug.
Yuki flailed, letting out a frustrated whimper as he rolled onto his back, glaring at the ceiling like it owed him an explanation for why Shin existed.
"I should've just gone to sleep," he muttered. "Why did I even message you…"
"Because you missed me."
"D-did not!"
"You literally said you did."
"That was a typo!"
Shin laughed again, and Yuki's heart did a somersault. That laugh—it wasn't fair. It was soft and genuine and melted right into his chest.
"…You're such a jerk," Yuki mumbled.
"Yeah. But you like me anyway, don't you?"
Yuki's mouth opened—and no words came out. His throat tightened. The silence stretched a little too long.
"…You're not fair," he finally whispered.
There was a pause on Shin's end. Then:
"I know."
Silence again. Not awkward. Just… charged.
Yuki curled up tighter, his long socks brushing together, fingers gripping his phone like it was a lifeline.
Shin's voice came through again, this time softer.
"Hey… you okay?"
Yuki nodded before realizing Shin couldn't see him. "Yeah…" he said quietly.
"…Still thinking about me?" Shin teased.
Yuki made a noise like a kettle squealing. "S-stop!! Don't say it like that!"
"But it's true, right?"
"I wasn't—!"
"Thinking about that picture?" Shin continued casually. "The one where I was shirtless?"
Yuki's body jerked like he'd been electrocuted. His face went completely red.
"I—I—I wasn't—!! Y-you—! Why would you bring that up now?!"
Shin smirked, even though Yuki couldn't see it. "You didn't save it to your phone or anything, right?"
"I—I—!!!"
"You totally did."
"I'M HANGING UP—!"
"Wait, wait! Don't!" Shin laughed again, and this time it was a little breathless, like he was genuinely enjoying himself. "Okay, okay—I'll stop. For now."
Yuki huffed. "You're seriously the worst…"
"I know. That's why I wanted to say something important."
Yuki blinked. Something about Shin's tone shifted. Still warm, but more serious. His heart skipped.
"…What?"
"I feel bad about today," Shin said. "That whole competition mess. You didn't look happy."
Yuki stayed quiet. He didn't want to admit how much it had affected him. Seeing Ai on Shin's lap. All the cuddles. The kisses. He hated how jealous he felt. How much he wanted to be the one in Shin's arms.
"So," Shin continued, "I was wondering… would you want to go out tomorrow?"
Yuki blinked. "Huh?"
Yuki's brain short-circuited. He sat up so fast the phone almost slipped from his hand.
"W-what?" he asked again, voice rising like a siren.
Shin's tone remained maddeningly calm. "I said, do you wanna go out tomorrow? Y'know… as an apology. For all the madness today. I wanna make it up to you."
There was a silence.
A long, boiling silence.
Yuki's eyes were wide, lips parted, heart thundering like it was about to break his ribs from the inside. His thoughts exploded all at once:
Did he just ask me out? Wait—go out? Like… go out go out?! Is this a date?! Is Shin asking me on a date?! Am I supposed to say yes like an excited girl?! No wait, do I act cool? Or tsundere? Oh no oh no oh no—!
"I—You—Go out—" Yuki sputtered, words crashing into one another like cars in a traffic jam.
Shin, still on the line, chuckled. "Did your brain just blue screen?"
"I—It didn't!! Shut up!!"
"So, is that a yes or—?"
"Y-You can't just spring something like that on someone out of nowhere!" Yuki barked, practically vibrating.
Shin laughed again, amused and unbothered. "Why not? You're free, aren't you?"
Yuki flopped back into bed, hugging a pillow to his chest. His oversized t-shirt slid off one shoulder, and his thighs squeezed together instinctively beneath the hem. He was practically steaming.
"W-well, I might be busy," he said, clearly lying. "I-I have things to do. Very important things."
"Oh yeah? Like what?"
"Uh… cleaning. And organizing my bookshelves. And—cat… feeding?"
"You don't have a cat."
"I COULD!"
Shin just hummed, thoroughly enjoying himself. "So I'll pick you up at 11?"
"I never said yes!!"
"But you didn't say no."
Yuki grabbed a pillow and screamed into it.
"IT'S NOT A DATE, RIGHT?!" he blurted, voice muffled but shrill.
Shin paused. "Huh?"
"Y-you said it's an apology thing!! So it's not a date! Definitely not a date!!"
Shin played along with a nonchalant tone. "Of course not. Just… two friends. Hanging out. One of them just happens to think the other's really cute."
"STOP SAYING THAT!"
"I meant the other friend is you, by the way."
"I KNOW THAT, YOU JERK!"
Yuki was bright red now, rolling in his sheets like he was trying to disappear into the mattress. His heart was pounding too fast, and the thoughts in his head had devolved into one constant chant: He asked me out. He asked me out. He asked me out.
Shin's voice softened again. "I just thought it might be nice. Just the two of us. We didn't get to talk properly today, you know?"
Yuki bit his lip. His chest ached, and for a moment, his mind flickered back to earlier—him in the bathroom, red-faced, breathless, and saying out loud: This jerk made me do this…
He swallowed hard.
"…Okay," he mumbled.
"Hm? What was that?"
"I said okay, you idiot."
Shin smiled on the other end. "Good. I'll take you somewhere fun. And no weird contests, I promise."
"…You better not ditch me for your sister again."
"Jealous?"
"I'll kill you."
Shin just laughed.
Yuki clutched the phone tighter, staring at the ceiling, mind still spinning.
This wasn't a date.
Definitely not a date.
But… maybe he should pick out a nice outfit anyway.
Just in case.
Shin yawned softly on the other end. "Alright, kiddo. I'll let you get some sleep."
"I'm not a kiddo," Yuki replied instantly, on autopilot now.
Shin chuckled. "I know, I know. You're a very grown-up, responsible, angry little cutie."
"I'm gonna throw my phone at the wall," Yuki mumbled, red in the face.
"I'll text you in the morning," Shin said, and for once, his voice was gentle, almost shy. "Goodnight, Yuki."
"…G'night."
And then the line went dead.
Yuki lay frozen for three full seconds before he slowly placed his phone on his chest like it was some fragile, sacred artifact.
And then—
He squealed.
Not loud. More like a strangled, muffled whimper into his pillow. He flailed his legs under the covers, kicking them wildly like a child throwing a tantrum, his whole body curled in on itself like it couldn't handle the overload of emotions.
"He asked me out," he whispered. "Okay—not out out. But still. A hangout. Just us. He wants to make it up to me. He feels bad. That means he cares. Right? R-right?!"
His hands shot up to his face and smacked his cheeks with a soft slap slap.
Calm down. Calm down, you idiot! Don't be such a girl about it! It's not a date! He literally said it's not a date! So why are you acting like you just got confessed to under a sakura tree in a shoujo manga?!
Yuki sat up in bed and buried his face in his hands. His body was still buzzing. Every time he replayed Shin's words—"Just the two of us"—he had to suppress another full-body shiver.
Then came the terrifying realization.
"…What am I supposed to wear?!"
He shot a look toward his closet, the dim moonlight illuminating the half-closed sliding doors. It felt like they were judging him. Smugly. Like, Oh, now you care what you look like?
Yuki crossed his arms and tried to look serious.
"I mean—it's not like I'm dressing up or anything," he said to no one. "I'm just gonna wear… normal clothes. Something casual. Cool. Like a normal guy would wear."
Pause.
"…But not too casual. Don't want him to think I didn't try at all…"
His eyes drifted back to the closet. He got up, quietly, tiptoeing across his room like the floor might catch him doing something embarrassing. He slid the door open slowly.
There were hoodies. Graphic tees. A few button-ups. Jeans. Shorts. Nothing outrageous. Just a regular boy's wardrobe.
But somehow, tonight, none of it felt right.
He stood there in his long socks and oversized tee, nervously chewing on the tip of his thumb.
"Okay. I'll pick something that looks effortless. Like… 'oh this? I just threw it on.' Yeah. That vibe."
Yuki pulled out a soft navy blue hoodie with white drawstrings and held it up to himself in the mirror. It brought out his eyes, he thought.
"…Too cozy. Looks like I'm going to buy milk."
He hung it back up.
Next, a crisp white button-up over a black t-shirt.
"…Too date-y. He'll know I tried."
Back to the rack.
He went on like this for a while, muttering to himself, flicking hangers back and forth, occasionally holding things up and turning side to side like he was judging a mannequin in a fashion show.
"I'm not a girl. I'm not a girl," he whispered under his breath. "But I still want to look nice. That's not weird. That's normal. Right? Right?!"
He slumped down to the floor, knees to chest, eyes still staring up at his closet with wide, tormented eyes.
"…Why is this so hard?!"
He sighed into his knees.
His heart still felt warm though. The buzz of the call hadn't left him. Shin's voice lingered like smoke in the air. And the thought of tomorrow—just the two of them—made his stomach flutter in a way that was both terrifying and wonderful.
Yuki looked over to his phone, still glowing faintly from where it rested on his bed.
Just a hangout, he repeated in his head.
But no matter how many times he told himself that—
He couldn't stop smiling.
---
Yuki eventually pushed himself up from the floor with a groan and flopped back onto his bed, sinking into the mattress like it might swallow all the thoughts swirling in his head. But of course, it didn't.
His heart wouldn't calm down. Every time he thought of Shin's voice—"Would you want to go out tomorrow?"—his stomach flipped like a gymnast.
He turned onto his side, grabbed his phone, and opened the browser.
Okay… okay. Just need some ideas. Not like I'm dressing up or anything, just… tips. Casual style tips. For guys. Totally normal.
His fingers hovered over the keyboard.
Then, without fully thinking it through, he typed:
"Cute casual female date outfit ideas."
He stared at it for a second.
Then another second.
Then—
"Wha—?!" He slammed his phone screen-down against his chest like it had just betrayed him.
"I—I didn't mean to type 'female'—!! That was a typo! It's late! My brain's tired!"
His face flushed bright red as he writhed beneath his covers, kicking his legs again like an over-caffeinated caterpillar.
"Ughhh I'm so stupid! What if someone saw that?! No one's even here but still!!"
He peeked at his phone again and quickly erased the history. "Forget it! I'm not looking anything up! I'll just wear a hoodie and shut up and survive the day!"
He buried his face in his pillow and groaned again. "This is all Shin's fault… why does he say stuff like that so casually? Who asks someone out all soft and gentle like that?!"
He flipped over. "What kind of guy says 'I feel bad about today' and 'let's hang out, just the two of us' like that?! What is he, a shoujo protagonist?!"
Yuki covered his face with both hands. "He's just playing around. He has to be…"
But… his thoughts trailed off. His mind, against his will, started drifting back to that moment earlier in the evening.
The bath.
When his body moved before his brain did.
When he touched himself while thinking of Shin—Shin's voice, Shin's face, Shin's photo, his shoulders, his lazy smirk, the way he says "Yuki..." like it's something sweet.
Yuki pressed his thighs together, shifting a little, feeling the leftover tingle of shame.
He'd never—
Not even with girls. Not even when fantasizing about the gravure idols he used to look up secretly. Not even once did it feel that good.
It hadn't just been arousal. It was heat. Emotion. Something tangled deep inside his chest that made him squeeze tighter and breathe faster.
It wasn't just his body—it was his heart. That's what made it worse.
He wiped his palm across his face, embarrassed by himself all over again.
"What's wrong with me…" he whispered.
His vision blurred slightly. He blinked, only to realize his eyes had started to water.
"…I sound so pathetic," he mumbled, voice cracking.
Because even now, after all the teasing, the flirting, the sweet voice through the phone, he couldn't stop doubting it.
Why would Shin ever want someone like me?
He hugged himself tighter.
He's popular. Girls like him. Even Aiko-san—she's pretty, bold, confident. She's everything I'm not. I'm just...
His fingers curled into his shirt.
I'm just a boy. A skinny, awkward, trap-looking boy. I don't even look like a guy sometimes, and Shin—he can have anyone. Any actual girl.
A quiet breath escaped his lips, shaky and full of self-loathing.
"…Why would someone like him even think about someone like me?"
He rolled onto his side, facing the wall. Trying not to cry. Trying not to feel the ache in his chest growing bigger than it should've been.
It's not a date, he told himself.
But it still hurt that he wished it was.
---
END OF CHAPTER : 31 : IT'S SURELY NOT A DATE!
---