I am the average student you'd meet anywhere. I am not special or unique in any way, I am in fact the most ordinary one there. It took me a while to realize that myself, but the idea of being special did not really bother me anyway.
What's the difference at the end? We're all human beings with our own way of living, we each are special, but in our own way.
That's what I said to myself while trying to get my feelings right. I was facing a harsh reality. I always had thought of myself as the kind of person who everyone would like, but apparently not.
I took the bus to school as usual. I got to my school, which was a normal school with no special circumstances. I entered the class, but I noticed something out of the ordinary. Many students were absent, which you don't see a lot here.
I was somewhat surprised but it didn't really matter to me though. I went to my seat, sat down and put my head on the table, waiting for class to start, and for school to finish like every day, but then I remembered I had to do something.
Me and my friends were being annoyed and heavily bothered by a group of other people in our class. They always said the worst stuff towards me and my friends, but we never talked back to them or did anything in particular. Today I thought it was enough of that, seeing his friends are absent and he was the only one there, I thought it's the perfect chance for me.
As the last class ended and most students left class, I told Jon, the bully, "I have something to talk to you about." I said that in a serious tone, and with a confident expression on my face.
"Tch," he clicked his tongue, then said "Hurry it up, pipsqueak. I can't waste my precious time on a nobody like you."
A slight frown was on my face, hearing what he had to say about me.
I thought I would be able to beat him single handedly, because I was not completely weak, I could throw some punches there and there, so I came up to confront him myself, and all alone.
I held his shirt with my hand, and said "Leave us be and we won't bother you anymore.." Hearing that, he started chuckling with an ugly smile on his face.
"Wait, you think you can beat ME by yourself?" He said, followed it up saying "And why would you have to leave us alone? I don't need that kind of crap coming from you, you can't and won't be able to do anything anyway." he said with a laughing tone.
"Get your filthy hands off me, you loser." Then he proceeded to push me back, forcing me to let go of my grip on his shirt.
I was thrown off by what he said and did, I got angered. I ran towards him to try and punch him in the face, but he simply moved away from it and dodged. There, I was wide open, and he took his chance on me and kicked me.
I fell down to the ground and as I tried getting up, but I was kicked again, and again. Over and over until I couldn't get up anymore.
He was making fun of me, ridiculing me, laughing at me and I was there on the ground, unable to do a single thing.
"Don't fight who you can't beat, you're not special, you're not strong, you are just an ordinary, weak fragile guy" He said after he finished beating me up, rather easily.
It showed me that I'm weak, and not as strong or special as I once thought I am, because if I was, otherwise I would've beat him. That's how he proved to me that I was not as good as I had thought.
I was sad, but at the very least, I had my friends, Rin and Alin. They were there for me. After fighting I was not left with much bruises or scars at all, just a nosebleed and a pain on my stomach. They entered class in a rush, and helped me get up on my feet again.
"Dude, I told you to not do anything about it, we could've just shut our mouths and let them say whatever!" Alin said to me, while Rin was agreeing with what he was saying.
I turned my head to him and said, "I won't let them speak badly about you or anyone else."
"You guys are precious to me." I muttered.
Hearing what I said, Alin hugged me, and said with a happy, yet serious expression "We are grateful for you, but we also care for you and don't want you to get hurt either."
Agreeing to Alin, Rin said, also with a grateful expression on his face "Yeah.. And next time, at least tell us, even we could have helped. We're best friends after all."
"I'm not used to you being sentimental, Rin.." I said with a worn out face. "Shut up." he replied back to me.
We all shared a smile on our faces, as this happened after the last class, we agreed we should go somewhere to spend our time a bit, and move on from what happened today.
That made me very happy, but I still couldn't forget the humiliation I had to go through. The words Jon said struck me and affected me very hard. It had ruined how I saw myself, and it made me realize just how helpless I was.
As I was walking back home after my hangout with Alin and Rin, I remembered Naomi. Being one of my close friends, she has been a girl that I've loved for some time now. I was in love with her beautiful, long black-purpulish hair and dark-blue eyes you could stare into for days.
But, she was one of those absent today. And she usually comes to school everyday, it took me by surprise, and I was kind of upset that I didn't get to see her, but I'm glad she didn't see me being humiliated today.
Besides that though, I finally got to my house and the moment I got back I went to bed to rest after this tiring and awful school day, but it wasn't the end of it.
After napping for a while, my dad woke me up for dinner.
My parents were divorced when I was young so me and my only siblings parted ways. I went on with my father, but I was the only one.
My brother and sister both went with their mother, and I can see why, but I was just too young to realize. I always thought of how or why they were divorced, and I really wanted to meet my family, seeing my friend's parents being so happy. I was very jealous, but everyone was living overseas or in fact, we were living overseas. So I never had a chance to meet any of them.
I've always wondered what went wrong between them. They're my parents so I deserve to know, but my father's temper was always unpredictable, it didn't stop my curiosity about the divorce and it kept pushing me to ask him, despite his cold responses.
Once before, I asked him the same question while we were out. "Why did you and mother separate? I really wish I could meet my mom and siblings.
He looked at me directly in my eyes and told me "Stop asking this dumb question over and over, it doesn't concern you"
"How wouldn't it concern me?! It's my family" I said in an expressive tone. He said, in a more serious expression and tone "I said stop asking." and so I stopped myself and pushed down my feelings and curiosity, but only for some time.
I had thought of my father as a very kind, good and respectable man and I deeply adored him. After he woke me up for dinner, we both sat down to eat, and he looked in a pretty good mood.
so I thought it'd be a good time to ask, so I raised my head, and looked at him.
"Dad… Can you please tell me what happened between you and mom?"
He ignored me and didn't even look at me. I kept asking him, persisting," what happened? Why won't you tell me? I want to know more about my mother and siblings! I deserve to know." He still didn't even pay attention to me, I got annoyed and said I can see why you were divorced, probably because of this attitude of yours. And all of a sudden, he got up from his chair, told me to shut my mouth. I said "why? They are my family as well" I said with a serious expression on my face.
I was lost in thoughts, in curiosity, I hadn't even noticed how angry he himself looked.
Then he just stepped closer to me, while clenching his fists.
He shouted "Did I not tell you to stop?!"
"I don't care, I wanna know! I don't wanna stay ignorant forever!"
Then, all of a sudden, he punched me right on my face, while screaming at me.
I was too shocked to even move, my nose started bleeding, and I was in alot of pain. "Dad..?"
Then he pushed me on the ground and laid down on my stomach and kept beating me as he said these words to me.
"IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?! IS IT?! I HAVE NOT BEEN TELLING YOU FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, DAMN IT!"
He unleashed the anger he'd been holding onto for years, and I couldn't say anything back to him, I just kept begging him to stop, uselessly, thinking it'd stop him. I was in disbelief that this is my father that I've loved and admired for so long.
He said everything in his mind, and some words that deeply struck me, and broke my heart.
After he saw me, and my face which got covered in blood and bruises; He said in a low voice "What have you made me done." He went to his room, took a bag which I had never seen before, and it looked like it was full of stuff. He looked at me, while I was laying down on the ground, full of bruises. He muttered these words"I'm sorry, son." Then he took his leave and left the house.
I was on the ground, covered in bruises. I just smiled, and then that smile turned into a laugh, and that laugh slowly turned into a cry.
I was sad, in pain, I have found out what my father's true nature is. He was one of the most important people in the world for me, he had raised me when I was young. It was all a big, unfortunate surprise, and just like that my ties with my only family were cut. Not to mention what happened at school today, I was left alone, and devastated.
I put my arm over my eyes, trying to cover my tears. Clenching my fists, seeing how weak and helpless I am. "Even standing hurts… How pathetic."
I got up from the ground to go and wash the blood away from my face and to cover my bruises and scars. I will never be able to find out what really happened back then, how they were divorced and that I won't be able to see my siblings or mother.
I thought, "what should I even do—where should I go?" My father just left me with probably no chance of coming back, he left money for me, but what is it worth when I'm alone, not even happy.
It was a very windy night, as I heard the sound of trees being moved by the strong wind, I just thought I should go outside, and take some time to reflect. "This house feels suffocating."
I stepped towards my door and wore my shoes to leave.
I got out of the house, locked the door and started walking. I started walking on the road, I felt sad, completely devastated. I was too tired to even take another step.
Each step I took, my heart ached more. My head locked on the floor, passing by every person coming next to me without even one look at them. I was thinking of how desperate I looked, how dumb I looked and most importantly, how haste I was with my actions. I shouldn't have rushed to get it out of him, but by now it's too late. And then, all of a sudden, I heard the sound of a flowing river nearby. I raised my head, just to see a beautiful river, with green fields and trees surrounding it.
I thought to myself I'd go there and lay down for a bit to calm myself, and to get a moment of peace after what happened today at school, with the bullies, and at home with my father.
I took more steps to reach the river, to clear my head, while my chest was still in pain and my eyes teary. I couldn't just forget what happened back there, no matter what happened.
Finally, I reached the river. There I laid down on my back, staring at the starry night sky. I closed my eyes, listening to the beautiful sounds of nature, the sound of rustling trees, the grass around me, the chirping of insects, the sound of the flowing river. I let out a sigh and muttered to myself "This is exactly what I needed". I felt truly at peace, but even then, I felt very emotional as well. What occured today was a big misfortune for me, and I've lost my only father.
Minutes passed… I thought to myself; "That's enough, I have to go back and figure things out". I slowly got up, as my eyes were still closed. But when I opened my eyes… The world around me has changed.