Hello everyone, sorry for the late update again. I'm looking for a job these past weeks and haven't had any luck, my brain is filled with bills to pay hope non of yall going through the same. The chapter deals with SA and I just wanted to leave a heads up. Please feel free to skip if it's not something you wish to read. I'll try to get a new chapter up by tomorrow, take care bye.
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When the words left my mouth Alice immediately let go of my hand and placed hers on my left shoulder. She rubbed it softly as she spoke, "I want to know Peter and help you get past it. If you want to stop or take a break I'll listen, I'm quite patient when comes to my man."
Her words were filled with love, I didn't need to search her face for the truth but my body forced me to. From embrassment I removed my gaze for second guessing her pure intentions. I rested my back on the ground and watched the falling stars. I felt comfortable seeing a ceiling without end as I reimagined the cold concrete roof of my cell.
"I was ten when it happened, I was outside just playing I can't even remember what. The sound of a car stopping abruptly ringed in my ears and without a moment to respond I was pulled into it. My vision went dark and when I came to I was cuffed in a dark cold cell."
Holding the wrist of my left hand I remembered how it was chained. The first few hours pulling it trying to escape, the hopelessness of it.
"Only my left hand was chained, my therapist explained that I developed a tick during my abuse. It twitches when I'm anxious or feel endangered. They told me it was my way of surviving and I subconsciously must of have connected the twitching to my way of finding an escape." I sighed, "it still doesn't explain why I haven't been able to get rid of it, now it's just reminder of that cell."
My thoughts went back to that time, the worst parts were all a haze of images and a blur that my mind sealed away as a defense mechanism. Only the agony I afflicted over my wrist as I pulled and twisted it is all I could see. I grew to hate it, how it was the only nail that kept there, the source of my suffering. Perhaps that's why I shook and jerked it trying to wake it up from it's stubbornness. The reaction I got was only the twitching from the abuse I forced on it. My therapist told me it was my way of getting revenge on something. I loathed that response, to admit she was right meant I gave up fighting against my captors.
"I spent a month in there." I said in a calm voice. "Their were other kids held there. I heard their screams both the yelps for help and yells of defiance. They-we would get punishment if we spoke or made sounds when their weren't visitors in our cells."
I stopped talking, the next words were ones that hurt to say. Even in therapy I dodged the subject just exposing the bare minimum to leave. Deep down I was reluctant to talk anymore and I knew it was cowardice. They shouldn't have control over me anymore and still I let their cruelty rule over me. Sincerely I doubt Alice could ever fix me if I've failed thus far. All I want is for someone to lean on when I start to crumble.
I continued to talk trying to mask my fears in a steady voice, "when they would enter my cell, the yellow glow from the light blub outside of it would gleam in their eyes. In my eyes they looked like monsters each one a horror I could never imagine to be real."
My mouth went dry recalling the moment and I breathed in, "they enjoyed my screams some of them would force makeup on me. No matter what they did it was always by force. My screams lasted a week and I stopped hoping they would lose interest. A part of me wanted them to finish me off for once. I hate to admit it but I forgot that Charlie, Renèe, Bella existed. The world outside was just the cells of the children in the same hell as me."
I forced myself to continue even when I remembered the outline, face and sinister smile in that man's face. His hands over me, caressing me and the nights I spent in a bathtub rubbing and tearing layers of cells trying to remove any trace of it. Instinctively I held myself, my hand twitched slightly and repeatedly at every breath of air.
My gaze never left the night sky, "there's a scar on my back, a series of bite marks over an area of it. A regular visitor of my cell left it there. A way for him to claim me or set himself aside from the rest." I paused for a moment, "I remember how I stared at the concrete walls as I laid on the bare mattress each time he visited. After a while I gave up hope. With my hands relatively free I began to strangle myself one evening or morning, whatever time of day it was. I was close to the end, my consciousness blacking out almost that I didn't hear the gunshots. It was luck I guess that the police had been investigating the disappearance of children in the area for a year and just now managed to crack their location. Not sure how but my dad got himself on the operation and rescued me. After that I always left Arizona for Forks when I could, his presence just made me feel safe knowing he was around."
I gulped trying to adjust my dry mouth from speaking so long, "Charlie held me in his arms as he took me out of my cell, his voice was an echo as he tried to keep me conscious. I was limp in his arms yet I glanced towards the other kids being saved. Each one of us had gone through our own torture but we all had that dead stare. The youngest one, I could tell had about eight years, her stomach was exposed. It was filled with burnt out cigarette scars. When I layed my eyes on her I couldn't keep them off her, she was so thin Alice yet the fight in her eyes remained untouched and spirit burned bright in that dark basement they kept us in. Outside her parents were there waiting for their baby girl. For a moment I like to think she saw heaven on Earth when they came into view."
I closed my eyes as the tears left my face, "she died a week later in the hospital we stayed at, God the screams her mother let out. Anyone who heard knew only a fraction of that women's pain. That girl was dead and some how one of our captors remains free the bastard. How is that fair Alice?"
For a while I was quiet, "I never searched or heard anything about the other kids. I suppose non of us wanted to relive the pain after seeing one another. What I did do was visit her grave when I had the strength, to my horror both her parents layed next to her. At least if there is a heaven they can take of her or forget it ever happened. Some days I wish I could do just that, except permanently that was until I met you of course. I'm sorry I saw those beasts in your eyes Alice."
At the end of my venting I looked at her, it looked like she was about to cry. She mumbled a reply unable to hold back but failed to say it clearly. Alice held her legs to her chest as she sat next to me. I wanted to hold her and tell her it's ok however my hand twitched unnaturally. The way it twitched felt as if it was holding me back from interrupting her.
"I-I also was held in a room without my consent when I was younger Peter. But it was, well for, I have no idea." Their was something off her as she spoke. A small gut instinct that there was more to it but I didn't want to press her.
My eyes widened slightly when I noticed her gripping her knees as she sat. "I can't say I went through something similar, my memory of the past is blank before I got out."
She turned to look at me, "maybe I can understand deep down but I promise to come to your side whenever you call."
I smiled, "thanks."
"I mean it Peter, if ever you have the urge to forget things permanently, forget us. You give me a call and I'll make you remember all the sweet things we've done so far."
"Alright it's a deal Alice, just promise you won't make things complicated after this. I would hate to be treated like a baby who might hurt itself cooking with a knife."
She smiled at that remark yet still maintained a sincere tone, "don't worry, I'd hate to make you more uncomfortable after this rabbit but I definitely won't allow you to dress how you use to."
I scoffed as I got up and stretched a hand to help Alice up, "come on its passed eight and I'll have new nightmares if Charlie were to ground me in front of my girlfriend."
She grinned mischievously, "you got a window I could slip through Peter? We could have sleepovers or something else entirely."
I was blushing at her remark, slowly forgetting the harsh conversation we had just moments ago, "let's go before the wolves come after us."
She nodded in agreement and stood next to me in a spilt second holding my hand as she rested her head on my side as we walked. The ride back was calm, Alice drove at a safe eighty miles per hour when she could. Perhaps from emotional drain I fell asleep while she hummed during the ride home.
A soft pull of my cheek awoke me, "wake up your dad's waiting for you."
I rubbed my eyes still tired from the nap, "thanks for the date Alice, I'll give dad your regards and make Bella jealous from her mundane dates."
I opened the door to leave, "what about my tip Peter?"
I gave her a kiss as I rolled my eyes, "goodnight Alice."
"You could invite me upstairs."
"That's a pleasant dream for another night Alice." I said getting out of the jeep ready for bed.
She sighed irritated, "you could at least entertain the thought rabbit."
I waved her goodbye lazily as I went inside. Charlie was on the couch as I entered, "its eleven Peter." He said in a stern voice.
All I wanted to do was go to sleep so I was honest about my reasons as to why as I made my way for the stairs, "I told her what happened when I was ten."
He nearly stood up from his seat eyeing me with worry while I began to walk up the stairs, "you alright son?"
"Ya, expect to have Alice over soon she's definitely a keeper dad. Goodnight."
He mumbled a goodnight while in pensive thought. Bella's door was closed with the lights off probably asleep already. I didn't bother to remove my clothes and dropped dead asleep onto my bed.
The next morning I woke up with little energy just the urge to see Alice kept me from calling in a sick day. Wish it were Friday were I could dream of sleeping in.
"Peter! Breakfast is ready!" Yelled Bella from the kitchen.
"Give me a minute! Gotta shower first!" The hell got her to wake up in such high spirits?
After showering I went downstairs were Bella was eating some freshly made pancakes with eggs. She was cheerful and glancing at me with a teasing expression as I sat down.
I served myself pancakes and put syrup over them while she eyed me with a grin.
"Quit staring at me."
"I'm not Peter your just seated in front of me."
I tried to eat in peace until she spoke, "Edward messaged me. He said Alice was going to come along today. And Charlie mentioned you put your full trust in her. That true?"
"Ya what's it to you?"
"Oh come on Peter I'm your big sister of course I'm glad you finally opened up to someone else."
"That really what got you in such a good mood?"
"Yup. Also Alice plans to make me a bridesmaid for your wedding, all I have to do is convince you to make Edward, Jasper and Emmett groomsmen."
"Over my dead body will I go on a night out before the wedding with them. Edward is annoying and the other two are planing something I know it."
"So their will be a wedding?"
"What? No of course not, at least not yet I'm too young for that. Plus if anything I bet my college savings your gonna be first."
"Really Peter? You know the Cullens talk more about you and Alice then my relationship right?"
"Alright enough fun for today I'm going to brush my teeth."
While I made my way upstairs to the bathroom she yelled, "Peter just a heads up but I think Alice would be the one to give you a ring if you wait too long."
Before I could respond I heard the *honk* from Edward's car. Bella ran up the stairs pushing me to hurry up while she brushed her teeth. I left her first hoping I could get in the truck before she embrassed me in front of Alice while she had the chance.