"Ayame-sama, did you call me?"
"Sasaki-san, do you know any good romance books a boy might like?"
"Sorry, I don't really know what kind of stories men enjoy."
"He told me he's not into reading much. But he's willing to try because I said I liked books."
"Why not recommend your light novels? They're books too."
"I don't want him to think I'm just some otaku girl, fantasizing about silly love stories with boys."
"Nonetheless, I believe that honesty is the best approach. He wishes to enjoy the same things as you, does he not?"
"I'm just afraid he'll be disappointed in me."
"Then maybe ask Madam about it. She might know a good approach."
"You're right. I'll talk to her tomorrow."
Today, I received my first message from Tomoki-kun. I'd been feeling uneasy ever since he asked for my contact and didn't message right away.
But now, there's a chance to bond over hobbies. I really don't want to mess this up
♦♦♦
"A romance book to recommend...? Sorry, I've got nothing."
"Not even Mom knows. What am I supposed to do now?"
"Like Sasaki said, recommend the ones you read—your light novels. I don't know much about them, but I'm sure there's one out there that anyone could enjoy."
"But I'm still scared of what he'll think."
"It's normal to be nervous when opening up to someone. But from what you've told me, he doesn't seem like the type to judge. He just wants to share something with you."
"That's why I don't want to screw this up. Mom, do you know any guy who'd go out of his way to try a new hobby just to connect with a girl?"
"...Well, you have a point. But I don't think you should recommend something you're unfamiliar with."
I didn't expect this to be such a complicated problem. Even Mom, who usually has a plan for everything, is speechless. I guess I can't blame her—Tomoki-kun really is different from most men.
Maybe if I ask him for more time, I could read a few popular romance books that boys might enjoy. Yeah, I could do that. I've finally met someone who makes me feel happy. I can hide the sillier parts of me for now, right?
"Madam, Ayame-sama. I know I lack experience with men... but from what I've observed, Morikawa Tomoki seems to just want friendship. That's why I believe you should be honest. If you hide your interests, he'll find out sooner or later."
"You're right, Sasaki. What do you think, Ayame?"
"...Yeah. I'll recommend a light novel that he might like… I hope. Thank you, Mom. And you too, Sasaki-san."
And with that, I left the room. I'm still unsure about recommending a light novel to him. I don't even know which one a guy would enjoy. Not to mention, he's probably expecting something that matches my image—a sweet, proper girl.
But deep down, I do want him to know the real me. I want us to enjoy things together. I want to be someone who brings happiness to the people I care about. I—
Sigh... I need to calm down. Tomoki-kun wants to know me. So why should I hide? If he were like other guys, I wouldn't have even noticed him.
But he's not. He's my friend now. We're slowly opening up to each other.
How silly I've been. If I get this stressed just picking a light novel, how will I handle an actual relationship someday?
Now… I'm feeling optimistic.
As I walked back to my room, I saw someone I rarely spoke to. Someone I longed to be acknowledged by. Someone I looked up to.
"Good morning, Father."
"Good morning... I saw you talking to your mother. Something wrong?"
"No, nothing serious. I just asked her for advice."
"Advice? Care to explain?"
I wanted to know what kind of book to recommend to a friend."
"A friend? Then why not just recommend one of your favorite light novels or manga?"
"... Yes. I´m planning to."
"Is that the boy you're interested in? If I´m not wrong, Morikawa Tomoki right?"
"You knew?"
"Of course I know. As a father I need to know at least this."
"I see... What do you think of him?"
"In one word? A kind boy. A boy who just wants to live peacefully with his friends and family."
"I´m glad to hear that."
"So, is he really your friend? Will you recommend the books you normally read?"
"Yes, i intend to."
"Does he even like that kind of book?"
"...I'm not sure. But he asked me for a recommendation."
"Does he know you like those kinds of stories?"
"..."
"As I expected. Just like your mother—hiding parts of yourself to keep up appearances."
"..."
"I don´t blame you. That's the way of the Edomae family. I know because I became part of it. But I do wonder what people would think if they saw who we really are."
"..."
"I should get going."
"Take care, father."
I returned to my room.
I forgot what I was even trying to do in the first place. Was I picking a romance book? A light novel? Was I trying to share what I love—or was I just hiding again?
I want to talk to Sasaki-nee. She's the only one I can really open up to about everything. But I know she's already tired of hearing all this. Even so, she still works hard for us. That's why I can't keep complaining to her all the time.
But it still hurts.
Suddenly, I noticed the red handkerchief in my showcase. The one tied to my memories of him.
[Sorry! Are you okay?]
[Hello, yeah! I´m glad to meet you again.]
[Are you sure? Well, A... ya... me. Ayame-san.]
[I mean, If one day you do something wrong, I won´t be able to accept it. Instead, I'll help you find your way back.]
"Tomoki-kun... if you knew the real me, what kind of face would you make? You have no idea how much your kindness means to me. I want to trust you—but I'm afraid. Afraid that someday, you'll just pretend I never existed. Every little thing you do shows me your sincerity. I can feel it. And that's what scares me... because I don't understand it yet..."
"... That´s why, until I do... I..."
♦♦♦
"Good morning, Ayame-san! How was your weekend?"
"It was wonderful! And don't worry—I didn't forget our promise. Here."
"Oh, the book! I might take a while to read it, but I'm definitely interested. Thanks, Ayame-san!"
"Yeah… it's my favorite."