They say as long as you keep your wits about you, you'll survive any crisis. That even if you're caught in a tiger's jaws, you can still make it out alive if you stay calm.
'…But really, that just means you'll be fully conscious while being chewed on.'
Of course, that didn't mean he planned to give up.
Because his life was precious.
Because it would be such a waste to end it here.
With that one sheer will, Kim Jangcheol stayed on high alert for three days. He tried to figure out Aged Kimchi. He observed his group. All to find some opening for a midnight escape.
Thanks to that, he was able to discover something.
"Hey, young master?"
"What is it, servant?"
"This can't go on, can it?"
"What can't go on?"
"It's you, young master. I think you have a slight fever."
"Me? Nonsense."
It was the evening of the fourth day since they left Fortress Magrat. As usual, they had lit a campfire and were sharing lunchbox chuno together.
The servant, Dyoll, looked at his young master with worried eyes and spoke.
"No, I'm sure of it. Your face is redder than usual, and there's sweat beading on your forehead."
"It's just a bit hot, that's all."
"Tsk. Nope. I know what I'm talking about."
"What do you even know?"
"I know everything about you, young master."
"You do? About me?"
"Yes. From your underwear size to how many times you brush each part of your teeth—I know it all."
"...…"
"But you've been acting strange all day today. Your movements have been sluggish, your gaze a bit dazed, even the way you chewed during dinner wasn't exactly reassuring. And…"
"And?"
"Here."
Chop.
Saying "here," Dyoll quickly reached out and placed his palm on his young master's forehead.
"Ah, look at this. You're burning up."
"…Ugh, what rudeness is this."
"Rude, my foot. You've caught something, haven't you?"
"It's nothing. I'm just a little tired."
"That is being sick, isn't it? Ever since we crossed the gate, your tension's eased, and now all the fatigue is hitting you at once. This is when you should be resting…."
"So, what do you propose?"
"If I recall correctly, there's a city nearby, right? So…"
"You want us to go there and rest?"
"Yes."
"That won't do."
"Why not?"
"Why not? Because we don't have any money."
What Reivaj said was true.
While scouting the abandoned land on a secret royal mission, they were attacked by monsters. The group was wiped out, leaving only him and his servant alive.
The bag of gold coins?
They lost it.
Had they not encountered Aged Kimchi when they were stranded with a broken leg—he would likely have become a corpse by now.
"It's not like we can conjure up money out of thin air. So let's endure just a bit longer. Thankfully, thanks to Sir Kim Jangcheol, we don't have to worry about food."
That was also true.
Kim Jangcheol's group, whom they had joined up with at the gate, had plenty of food beyond what was loaded on the wagon—black potatoes and chuno to spare.
"But still, even so…"
Hearing his young master's words, Dyoll's face crumpled.
"Even so, young master, you can't keep camping out in this condition. If the illness worsens, it'll be serious."
"I'm fine."
"You're not fine. So what if we don't have money? We could just go to the lord or mayor, reveal your identity, and you'd be treated and cared for well."
"Hey!"
Hearing his servant's words, the young master snapped.
"I told you several times—that's not an option."
"But still…"
"Enough. Back at the gate, we made a scene over those black potatoes, and our identity was exposed—but we must never make that mistake again. Have you forgotten our mission?"
"I haven't…"
"Exactly. Good. We're under a royal secret order. Should we go around carelessly revealing ourselves just because we hit a little bump?"
"We don't have to reveal everything though."
This time, it wasn't the servant who responded.
A completely different voice.
Reivaj turned toward the unexpected interjection.
"Sir Kim Jangcheol?"
No matter when you call it, the name still sounds ridiculous.
Honestly, so does Aged Kimchi. And Kim Jangcheol. What kind of names are those? But those thoughts were fleeting.
Kim Jangcheol spoke, a strange smile on his lips.
"Sorry for interrupting your conversation. But I happen to think a little differently."
"What part do you disagree on?"
What was he thinking?
Reivaj asked curiously.
Kim Jangcheol spoke.
"To sum it up simply. The problem right now is money, right?"
"Well, yes…"
"Then let's just sell a few blocks of chuno from the wagon."
"…What?"
Reivaj was taken aback.
Kim Jangcheol continued, now sounding slightly shameless.
"Why the surprise? Just look at us. We're so broke we can't even get treatment. So broke we're camping in the wild. What do we need most right now? Money. Is there anything else?"
"But selling the wagon's chuno… Those are for the king."
"Exactly."
"And yet you say we should sell them?"
"Yes. Why not?"
"Of course…"
That's obviously not allowed.
It's absurd.
Reivaj was about to say that.
But Kim Jangcheol's mouth opened half a beat faster.
"Yes, it is. Because I want to."
"…What?"
"I don't want to camp anymore. I want a proper meal. But we have no money. So what should we do? Sell what we have to make some. Is that so wrong?"
"Of course…"
"You want to argue, I know. Well then, how about you go to the abandoned land yourself and dig up another batch of super potatoes."
"..."
Reivaj was completely speechless.
He wanted to argue.
But
He couldn't!
Kim Jangcheol's shameless words continued.
"At any rate, selling a few blocks here won't even be noticeable. In exchange, we'll travel back to the capital healthy, fulfilled, and like proper humans. Is that such a bad thing?"
"Of course…"
Thinking of loyalty to the king, this was something he shouldn't do.
Naturally, it was out of the question.
"Well then, if you're still against it, go back to the abandoned land and find something better."
"..."
Damn it.
There's no way to argue!
Reivaj closed his eyes.
Meanwhile, Kim Jangcheol proudly raised his head with a brazen face. Inwardly, he clenched his fist.
'Yes, yes. It's working!'
He'd steeled himself and gone all in—and he could feel it was paying off.
He was starting to see his chance.
'Good. We'll stop by a nearby town, sell some chuno, get some money, book an inn, let the young master and Aged Kimchi doze off in comfort, and then when the time is right—I'm out of here.'
And once he escaped?
As for the seeds for next season's crops?
He'd buy them in a village on the way to the abandoned land. Then never return to the human realm again—mission complete!
'I can do this.'
Hope began to shine faintly.
Kim Jangcheol pushed his flashy, shameless silver tongue even harder.
"Besides, think about it. Do you really think selling a few blocks of potato here is going to reach His Majesty's ears? It won't. No one's going to talk. No one's going to notice. The people who buy these potatoes? 'Oh, these are kind of weirdly big,' chomp chomp chomp. That's it. Give it a few days, and they'll all forget. Am I wrong?"
"Th-That's… so?"
"Exactly. I mean, come on, they're just potatoes. So let's go back to the capital like actual humans, like people. What is this, we all look like beggars. Right?"
"..."
Even as Reivaj found himself tempted, he hesitated before the final sliver of his conscience.
And Kim Jangcheol landed the finishing blow (?!).
"Oh, if you don't like it, feel free to go back to the abandoned land and dig up the potatoes yourself~"
That was the decisive blow.
Reivaj tightly shut his eyes and let out a deep sigh.
"…Hoo, fine."
"So, you agree?"
"I agree. I'll go along with your suggestion, Sir."
In the end, the young master raised the white flag.
A full-bloom smile of satisfaction blossomed across Kim Jangcheol's face.
"Hehehe, wise choice."
"I-Is that so?"
"Of course. Definitely, absolutely. Hehehe."
"..."
He didn't know anymore.
Was this really the right thing to do?
Was it truly okay?
All night long, the young master tossed and turned, tormented by his nagging conscience, while Kim Jangcheol wore a wicked grin glued to the corner of his lips.
And so, night deepened.
***
The city they arrived at the next day, 'Daparachia,' turned out to be bigger than expected.
"So, you're really planning to sell the chuno here?"
"That's right."
"Just you and me?"
"Mhm. Just us."
"Will we be able to pull it off?"
"We have to pull it off."
In the corner of the town square, greeted by the morning sun.
A shabby piece of cloth laid out on the ground.
Upon it, they set out several blocks of chuno, one by one, as Kim Jangcheol spoke.
"Then, is there anywhere else we can sell chuno?"
"...…"
"There isn't, right? It's not like we're opening a store here. Am I wrong?"
"…You're right."
"Then we've got no choice but to sell like this. What else can we do?"
"...…"
There was nothing else.
His lord was right.
Which made it all the more difficult.
Zephyros, the Demon King's adjutant and archivist, furrowed his brows with an exasperated expression.
"Still, this feels a lot like…"
"Like we're begging?"
"…Yes."
"Well, even so, it can't be helped."
Kim Jangcheol shrugged.
Truthfully, he completely understood why Zephyros was acting this way.
It must've been a shock. To think that a being as exalted as the Demon King would be sitting in the corner of a human city's square, selling blocks of potato.
But that didn't matter.
He was used to this sort of thing.
After all, to the grandmother who raised him, this was part of daily life.
"..."
That strange feeling that tried to bubble up.
Kim Jangcheol shook it off.
Then spoke to Zephyros as if offering advice.
"There's nothing shameful about making a living. Selling vegetables on the street? I'm not ashamed of it. If doing this means I can feed the people I'm responsible for, I'll do it as many times as it takes."
"..."
"So don't make that face. Just focus on what we need to do."
"…Understood."
Zephyros quickly lowered his head.
And he thought.
It was astonishing.
Sometimes, his lord truly startled him.
Like just now.
He'd felt embarrassed by the situation—sitting on the ground in a human city, trying to sell a few ugly blocks of potato to passing strangers.
But unexpectedly, just a few words from his lord made him feel ashamed instead.
'The lord is working so hard for everyone, and all I cared about was pride and appearances…'
The more he thought about it, the more ashamed he felt.
He had to sell the chuno.
Even if it was only to cover the inn fee for the group they'd joined, his lord had said any leftover funds would be used to buy seeds.
So he had to focus.
He had to do his best to sell.
Resolving himself, he stood beside the makeshift stall.
Only to be scolded by his lord again.
"What are you doing?"
"Yes?"
"Sit down like me. Don't just stand there."
"…My lord? Must we really squat like that?"
"Yup."
"Why?"
"We need to look pitiful if we want to sell."
"..."
My lord, this time… it's really embarrassing, in a whole different way.
But he had no choice.
Zephyros, face flushed red for some reason, squatted down beside his lord. Hugging his knees, awkward and unsure of where to look.
Many people passed by the stall.
But no one even glanced at the chuno.
Honestly, that was to be expected.
After all, chuno was the result of freezing, stomping, drying, then freezing, stomping, and drying again. Naturally, it was ugly. No, not just ugly—ridiculously ugly!
So everyone who passed the stall thought the same thing.
'What the heck is that?'
'Is that… a potato?'
'Why's it so black and shriveled?'
'Is it even edible?'
'What if I die from eating it wrong?'
'They're trying to sell that?'
'Do they even have a conscience?'
No one even considered buying.
Instead, they chuckled under their breath.
The morning sun climbed high, blazed down on their heads, and eventually began to slope into afternoon—yet still, not a single block of chuno was sold!
"…My lord? Is this… is this how it's supposed to be?"
"Hmm…"
"Our chuno isn't selling at all, is it?"
"Hmmmm…"
"We may need to take drastic measures."
"Hmmph, you might be right…"
"What should we do?"
"..."
Kim Jangcheol sank deep into thought.
He'd expected that the chuno's visual appeal might turn people away, but he hadn't imagined it would be this bad. Just like Zephyros said, they might really need some sort of drastic measure.
'Should we set up a tasting booth or something?'
Maybe if people tried it, their reactions would change. But that would make Reivaj lose it. He still saw this chuno as a royal offering to the king.
'Selling a few blocks on the down low is one thing—giving out free samples in the square and promoting it is a whole different matter.'
So the tasting booth idea was a no-go.
Then what could they do?
'What kind of trick could get people interested in chuno… Ah.'
Suddenly—ding.
An idea lit up in Kim Jangcheol's mind like a lightbulb.
He raised his head and said to Zephyros,
"Baal."
"…Yes?"
"Bring Baal here."
"General Baal… you mean?"
"Yes. Hurry. Quick!"
Kim Jangcheol urged him.
Zephyros, pushed forward, rushed off. Could bringing General Baal really change anything? The doubt lingered as he ran.
And so, with the aid of the Elixir of Transformation, the Four Heavenly Kings' Baal—now boasting the beauty of a shoujo manga protagonist from a rainy season in Versailles, with an explosively curvy figure—was about to kick off the legendary tale of The Great Chuno Sellout.
[T/L: I am not getting any support from webnovel platform, so please support me and read ahead chapters on my ko-fi page "RevengerScans" : https://ko-fi.com/revengerscans ]