After everything that happened, I walked the same path back to Mr. Hanabira's house. A whirlwind of emotions stirred in my chest—emotions I still couldn't quite understand. Under that starry summer sky, my thoughts drifted aimlessly… I thought about everything: the day I met Kaori, my grandfather's death… and now, this peaceful life on a farm surrounded by open fields and clear skies.
And, of course, I thought about Ailany.
Yes… I'm in love with her.
You might think it all happened too fast. I admit it—I left out many things I thought weren't important. The truth is, I didn't see Ailany as someone who could become my partner at first. But, ironically, life took an unexpected turn. When I saw her with Hikaru… an emotion I hadn't felt in a long time surfaced: jealousy.
I didn't want to admit it, but I felt like that smile belonged to me. That sweetness, that warmth—like they were meant only for me. And maybe I've said this before, but I needed to remember it. Not to convince others… but to convince myself that this is real. That this heart, which I thought had gone numb, is beating again for someone.
Maybe I had grown too used to the loneliness of my tiny apartment, to a routine without surprises, that when Ailany appeared and showed me a new way to see the world, something inside me lit up. It was like waking up in the middle of a dream I didn't know I was having. Nervous, yes… but happy. Because she changed something in me—something I thought I had lost.
And then there's Kaori… a timid girl with a fragile soul, who's always had trouble expressing her feelings. Ever since her mother died, everything in her became more delicate. She's like a crystal—beautiful, but so easy to break. And I chose to protect her. Yet ironically, I left her behind twice… always with the naive idea that if I returned her to her real family, she would be safe. That she'd be happy. That I wasn't needed.
But maybe… all she wanted was for me to stay by her side. Maybe my presence was what truly made her happy.
I never stopped to think about how she felt. I never tried to understand her pain. I just kept repeating, like a selfish idiot, that I'd protect her. But I never did. I never truly protected her. I just ran away… out of fear. Fear of failing her. Of not being enough to hold that crystal heart.
I'm pathetic, truly. I'm no prince… not even close, Kaori. I'm sorry. Maybe… you didn't make the right choice.
When I arrived at the house, I saw Kaori sitting on the porch, hugging her knees, her eyes cast down. Mr. Hanabira leaned against the doorway in silence. I felt like I did the first time I came here… lost, unsure of what to say. In the end, I took the easiest path:
"I'm really sorry about what happened," I said, bowing slightly. "Sorry for all the trouble I caused."
"It's fine," he replied in his usual calm tone. "But I hope this won't become a habit. You understand?"
"Yes, I understand perfectly. I'll try to make sure it doesn't happen again," I said, my voice trembling slightly.
"I hope so," he added, a bit more gently this time. Then he looked toward Kaori. "You should talk to her. She was crying… and I had to stop her when she tried to leave with Hikaru. I couldn't let her go like that."
"Thank you, truly," I murmured, my gaze fixed on Kaori. Even though she said nothing, her quiet sobs spoke volumes.
"I'm not going to ask what happened. You're young. Still learning how to live," Kazuo added, crossing his arms. "But I'll give you this advice—stop complicating things that are actually simple."
He turned toward the door, and before going inside, he said:
"I'm locking up. When you're done, knock and Miyako will let you in."
"Understood. And… thank you for everything, Mr. Kazuo."
He raised a hand in farewell and disappeared into the house.
Now what the hell am I supposed to say? I had no idea where to even start after everything Kaori said to me. What words could possibly fix this…? I'm such an idiot.
But honestly… it feels like both of them expect me to choose. As if one of them has to lose. And that's not fair. I don't want to lose either of them. They're both important to me.
I sat beside her on the porch without saying a word. The night felt quieter than usual, as if even the sky was holding its breath.
Kaori didn't look at me. She clung to her knees tightly, like she'd fall apart if she let go.
"I don't want you to keep hurting because of me," she finally whispered, her voice barely audible. "I ruined your evening… If I hadn't shown up, you'd probably be having dinner with them, smiling."
"Kaori… don't say that."
"But it's true," she insisted, shaking her head slightly. "I just… I don't want to be a burden to you, Haruki. Not another weight you have to carry. Not another person you have to protect."
I glanced at her. Her shoulders were trembling. How many times has she felt like this? How many times has she stayed silent, pretending everything was okay?
"Why do you always do that?" I asked, breaking the silence. "Why do you carry guilt that doesn't belong to you?"
Kaori lifted her head, surprised.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean… you always blame yourself for everything. As if your very existence is some kind of mistake," I said, not quite meeting her eyes. "I don't get it… You didn't do anything wrong. You don't need to apologize for feeling things, for caring, for being here."
"That's what you say," she murmured. "But if I hadn't shown up, everything would be different. You'd be happy… with her."
"And you don't deserve to be happy too?"
She didn't answer.
Silence settled between us again, but this time, it wasn't awkward. It was… heavy. As if words weren't enough. As if our hearts had too much to say.
"Kaori," I said softly. "Don't compare yourself to anyone. Don't diminish your feelings. Don't hold back your heart just because you're afraid of what might happen."
She turned her head slightly. Our eyes met for an instant, and in that instant, time stood still.
"'Don't hold back your heart'… That's what you said, right?" she whispered, her voice trembling.
I nodded silently.
Kaori lowered her gaze. A soft breeze brushed her hair, and her bangs fell across her face. With a trembling hand, she brushed them aside. That same hand… touched my cheek.
I froze.
Her hand was cold. But not an unpleasant cold. It was like morning dew on a summer day—gentle, fleeting.
She leaned in slowly, hesitantly. I could see the faint quiver of her lips, the uncertainty in her eyes.
I could have pulled away. I could have said something.
But I didn't.
And then, like a breeze brushing the surface of water, her lips touched mine.
It wasn't a passionate or long kiss. It was a whisper. A silent secret shared between us.
My heart pounded. I didn't know what to think or feel. Everything blurred together: confusion, nostalgia… and a warmth I hadn't felt in a long time.
The scent of her hair… reminded me of our childhood summers. Of sunlight filtering through cherry blossom trees, of laughter dancing in the wind.
When the kiss ended, Kaori gently pulled away. She didn't say anything. She just looked down, her face as red as a tomato, fidgeting with her fingers.
"I'm sorry…" she whispered.
"Why are you apologizing?"
"I don't know. Maybe… because I was afraid you'd reject me."
"Kaori…"
I didn't know what to say either. I just… knew I didn't want that moment to fade so soon.
"I don't want to lose her," I thought.
I don't want to lose Ailany either. But… for now, she can wait.
I just want to stay here with Kaori… a little longer.
But fate rarely gives us time to breathe.
Just then, I heard footsteps approaching.
Kaori noticed too. She stiffened instantly and turned her back to me.
I froze, my face burning.
"Did they see us? Did someone see?"
And just like that… the silence shattered again.