As soon as the heavy raindrops ceased, I left that place and headed towards home. Once I was home, the first thing I did was untie my slightly wet hair and dry it. Then I took a shower and settled down to read.
After reading for a while, I decided to step out for a brief walk. After a short stroll, I lay down on the bed.
A whirlwind of thoughts began to stir in my mind.
The boy I had thought of as a reckless thug was actually Sean Wood. Yes, that Sean Wood, the one behind whom girls like Elish and Sifra were crazy. It was from their mouths that I had heard about his beauty and good nature and all other things.
Girls swooned over his looks and personality, and boys admired him for his morality, politeness, patience, honesty, and readiness to help others. More than half the girls in our class blushed at the mere mention of his name.
Some even had ended their relationships because of him, because When they saw him first time, they felt the spark of first love in their hearts.
(WHICH I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES THEY FELT)
I vaguely recall one such incident.
The girl with curly hair, who had mocked me along with Elish and Sifra, had also once broken up with her boyfriend just because of Sean, while Sean was completely unaware of all of this.
When she saw Sean for the first time, she felt as if she had experienced true love.
(I still can't decide if it was genuine love or just the hormones of youth bubbling up.)
She had tried talking to Sean.
He had spoken his first words to her with a gentle smile, his voice soft and polite.
Upon hearing those words, she was completely enchanted. She thought that her first love will bloom. She thought that maybe Sean liked her too.
She broke up with her boyfriend, who was ready to move the moon and stars for her, and after talking to Sean for just once, she confessed her first love to him after first time talk.
But nothing happened. She was respectfully rejected.
I hadn't paid much attention to this that time , so only bits and pieces of it come to my mind now.
Also , Adri, who played amazing music and was the best singer in our school, was also defeated by Shawn Wood. And me... for the same reason, my mom... forgot my birthday.
Thinking about this, I couldn't help but smile veil the faint of sadness in it .
The next day, I had to go to school, but I didn't have the courage or the heart to step into that place filled with those kids, their laughter and jokes, a place where even the decorations seemed to hide dark corners.
The memories were gnawing at me, like an unrelenting furnace, stoking the wounds within me.
I didn't know how I would face them. Inside me, there were thousands of questions, thousands of wounds, thousands of memories—whose light someone had stolen away.
I didn't know why my friends treated me like this. What had I done wrong? I didn't know. If they didn't like me, why didn't they just tell me to my face?
I would feel a little sad, but will be safe from these deep wounds .
Why me? I kept asking. Why every time?
No, I didn't hate them, nor did I love them. I had just become a piece full of scratches, a piece that could break at any moment.
As I was lost in these thoughts, sleep overtook me.
When I woke up, it was already morning. The sun's rays were veiled by the clouds. The air was calm, but the weather had a certain chill. My eyes felt heavy, and my body ached a little.
I got up and started getting ready for school.
Tying my hair in a high ponytail, putting on my uniform, and slipping into my shoes, I stepped out of the house.
It had been five or six days since I'd been away from my parents without informing them. To them, I had become nothing more than a living doll—one they could manipulate however they wished.
The sky today was still covered with those same dark clouds, and the weather was chilly. I made my way through the narrow alley and reached the crowded street.
As I walked along the road, I came across the same café, the very place where I had turned back yesterday. It was the same spot where the memories had turned into terrifying pages, written with haunting words.
I moved forward with unsteady steps, anxiety encircling me. The same strange fear, the memories, they were slowly tightening their grip on me. But, despite this suffocating hold, I continued walking down the hall.
The hallway was long and wide, filled with kids as always. If an elderly person passed through this hallway, they'd surely breathe in the essence of youth and childhood and get lost in their own memories.
I walked quietly, my eyes downcast, taking slow, unsteady steps.
Only one thought lingered in my heart—how would I face them?
The hallway looked the same, but today, things felt different.
I could feel it—the girl who always remained invisible among those laughing, chattering, youthful children—today, all eyes, intentionally or unintentionally, were on her. Some gazes were quiet, some openly watching her with a peculiar intensity.
All the eyes were on that quiet girl, whose eyes remained lowered, unaware of why everyone was looking at her today. She was walking, gathering the broken pieces of her heart, and carrying them forward for the day ahead.
As I passed, I overheard a few people talking in whispers:
"Is this the one?"
"Yeah, I think it's her."
I then heard the same two girls whispering with a laugh,
"She can make anoyone fool by her innocent looks ."
The moment I heard those words, I immediately turned around, but the two girls had already left.
My unease grew stronger, and I couldn't understand why they were whispering about me, and what those girls had said.
I could feel the weight of the gazes of more than half the people around me. Their eyes were subtly on me, and their mouths were whispering words I couldn't hear, but I could sense the direction of their attention.
I somehow managed to pass through them and entered the classroom.
Inside the classroom, the usual buzz of voices and laughter filled the air, just like every other day. The girls were joking in fake laughter, the boys were playfully teasing each other, and some lovebirds sat in the corners, blushing shyly.
I entered the class, but today, something was different.
Everyone stopped and watched me as I stepped inside, their eyes trained on me, their attention focused. For a moment, the usual excitement died down. It was clear from their gazes that they weren't looking at me like I was some queen or princess. No, their looks were different—strange, something else altogether.
I walked towards the corner and sat down. The buzz in the room resumed, but I could still feel their eyes on me. And now, I realized that their whispers had taken on a new tone. It was as if I was the subject of their silent conversations.
The mood in the room now had an undercurrent of discomfort. Most of them were stealing glances at me, some were talking while casting their eyes my way.
Their strange stares made me restless, but I didn't have the courage to ask anyone why they were looking at me like that.
I was just so tired... and maybe, somewhere deep down, I had already become like a dried petal—scattered and broken, unable to hold myself together anymore.
I ignored everyone and took out a novel to read. I really loved danmei novels!
After a while...
The teacher came in, and everyone settled into their seats. Their attention probably shifted to their studies.
Today, there was no sign of Sifra, Elish, or Hugo in the class, which gave me a little relief.
After a while...
The pE period started, and the kids began to leave for the games .
I had absolutely no interest in going anywhere, so I stayed seated, resting my head against the back of my chair.
A deep exhaustion was settling inside me. It was choking me, suffocating me, taking away my peace, trapping me, and pulling me into darkness.
I closed my eyes, hoping to let my mind drift into the valley of sleep...
... but before I could,
The sound of laughter reached my ears.
Amidst the laughter, I heard a heavy, suppressed voice:
"Isn't this the one... looks fine, though."
A second voice followed, "You could have fun with her. Just say it once, and she'll follow you around ten times."
The whole group burst out laughing.
My heart froze. It stopped. My mind went completely numb.
The only question racing through my mind—what are they even saying?
I quickly jerked up and turned towards the voices.
In front of me stood four boys and two girls.
I knew all four of them very well— they were the most ill-mannered boys and girls in class.
I looked at them, and a sense of unease stirred inside me. Something felt wrong.
Then, I heard one of them laugh—he was the chubby, tall one.
"Hey, she's opened her eyes."
They were all looking at me with eyes that sent chills down my spine.
Then one of them, the boy wearing glasses, who was the second most handsome in our class after Edri, spoke in a low tone, as if mocking me:
"Freya, why are you so shocked to see us?"
"We didn't come here to harm you."
He began walking towards me. Even as he came closer, I stayed seated.
He came up to me and whispered in my ear, his voice low:
"I'm only here because I want to give you some... enjoyment."
The words burned me from the inside. He didn't stop there; he continued:
"You tell me when and where we can meet—at a hotel or my place?"
I immediately backed away from him, and without any hesitation, I shot back:
"Is this how you speak to me?"
"What exactly are you trying to say?"
Everyone burst into laughter at my response. But then, one of the taller girls standing among them spoke up:
"Freya! You should stop pretending to be innocent."
She continued, "We all know what you really are."
Her words stunned me, and a deep unease began to form within me.
I asked her, my voice trembling and my face in disbelief, "What exactly are you trying to say?"
The boy with glasses began walking toward me again.
I stood still, frozen.
He looked at me with that vile smile, pulled out his phone, and thrust it toward me.
As soon as I saw the screen, the last of my breath seemed to leave me all at once.