The world kept moving, but I felt frozen in time.
I went through the motions—waking up, going to class, eating, sleeping—but it all felt wrong. Like I was living in a reality that didn't belong to me anymore.
Because it didn't.
My real world was left behind, ripped away from me the moment I was pulled back here.
Back to a life that felt empty.
Back to a world without him.
I sat at my desk, staring at the blank pages of my notebook. My pen rested in my grip, but I couldn't bring myself to write.
I had tried. I had rewritten the story over and over, trying to get back, trying to find him again. But nothing worked.
Nothing felt real.
The Cauis I wrote wasn't the same. The warmth in his gaze, the way he said my name, the way he looked at me like I was his entire world—none of it could be replicated with words.
I let out a shaky breath and dropped my pen.
Maybe this was my punishment.
For changing fate. For rewriting reality.
Maybe this was the price I had to pay—to be forced to live in a world where he didn't exist.
The thought made my chest tighten painfully.
I pressed my forehead against the desk, squeezing my eyes shut. I needed to hear his voice again, to feel his presence, to know he wasn't just a dream I was forced to wake up from.
But no matter how hard I wished for it, there was only silence.
And the silence was unbearable.
I took a deep breath, forcing myself to sit up. My vision was blurry from unshed tears, but I wiped them away.
I couldn't keep doing this.
I needed to move on.
Even if it hurt. Even if it felt impossible.
Because if I didn't...
I would drown in a world that no longer felt like my own.
The dream started the same way every time.
I was standing in a vast field, the wind brushing against my skin like a whisper from a world I could no longer touch. The sky above was endless, the horizon stretching far beyond what my eyes could see.
And then—he was there.
Cauis.
Dressed in his armor, his sword strapped to his side, the familiar warmth in his golden eyes locked onto me as if I were the only thing that mattered. He looked so real—his dark hair tousled by the wind, the faintest smirk tugging at his lips, like he had been waiting for me all along.
"Eloise."
His voice was soft, but it carried through the distance between us, pulling at my heartstrings with an ache so deep, it left me breathless.
I wanted to run to him. I wanted to feel his arms around me again, to hold onto him and never let go.
But my body refused to move.
As if some unseen force was holding me in place, reminding me that this—he—wasn't real.
Cauis took a step forward, his expression shifting into something softer. Concerned. As if he knew what I was thinking.
"You're trying to forget me." His voice wasn't accusatory. Just sad.
My throat tightened.
"I have to," I whispered.
Cauis stopped just a few feet away from me. Close enough that I could see every detail of his face, every scar, every emotion flickering in his eyes.
"Why?"
I inhaled sharply, my chest aching with the weight of my own answer.
"Because if I don't," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper, "I'll never be able to live in this world again."
A ghost of a smile crossed his lips, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"I don't want to be forgotten, Eloise."
A single tear slipped down my cheek.
I didn't want to forget him either.
I wanted to hold onto him forever.
But I couldn't.
I shook my head, trying to keep my voice steady. "You're already gone, Cauis."
His eyes softened, and he reached out, his fingertips brushing against my cheek. It felt so real, so warm, that I almost believed for a second that I was back in his world, that we were together again.
"You'll always find me," he murmured.
And then—
He started to fade.
I let out a broken gasp, reaching for him, but my hands passed right through him like mist.
"No—wait! Please!"
But he was already disappearing, his golden eyes the last thing to fade into the wind.
And then I was awake.
Gasping, clutching the sheets, my face damp with tears. My chest ached as if my heart had been ripped apart all over again.
It was just a dream.
Just another cruel, painful dream.
But the worst part?
I didn't want it to end.