"SHUT UPPPPP!!!"
My own voice, raw and cracked, echoed in the sudden silence. My chest heaved, each breath sharp and painful. The sheer, overwhelming wrongness of what she was saying, what she was doing, had shattered whatever composure I had left. I was still pinned, my arm still caught, frozen in place by her hand. Akari stared down at me, her eyes wide, that blush still high on her cheeks.
There was a moment, a beat of silence where the reality of the situation seemed to hit her too. The intensity on her face flickered, replaced by surprise, then something that looked like hurt.
"How dare you scream at me," she said, her voice barely a whisper, soft after my outburst, but edged with a fragile anger. "And that was when I was trying to help you, no less." She looked away for a second, down towards her hand on mine, then back at my face, confusion clouding her features. "Why... why did you yell like that?"
Why did I yell? Are you serious?! My mind screamed, reeling from the absurdity. She was acting like I'd just interrupted a perfectly reasonable conversation with rude behaviour. She was still stuck on her twisted logic, her idea of "help."
She looked down again, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket under her other hand. The blush deepened. "I... I just thought..." she mumbled, clearly struggling. "You're at that age, and boys... they need ways to... handle things. And I'm your sister. It's my responsibility to make sure you don't... you don't get into trouble."
Trouble? This is trouble! Major, flashing-red-lights trouble!
"Listen," I choked out, trying to twist my hand again, desperate to get away. "I don't wanna do this, so leave me alone!" It wasn't defiance anymore; it was a desperate plea, raw and pleading.
Maybe she still saw me as that kid from years ago, the one who just needed directions or help with homework, who'd obey if she just said "do it." Maybe she thought I'd eventually just... go along with it.
"You mean you'll do this if it's her," she said, her voice getting sharper, the confusion giving way to something cold and cutting. "Even if you have to be forceful. But you won't do it with me, even if I force you to do it with me. You mean her body is better than mine? You've got some guts to disrespect your sister like that."
My jaw dropped. Is that what she thought?! That I was choosing not to with her because I preferred Sarah?! After everything that happened, the fight, the near-death, my sister trying to kill me then saving me, Luca, Kaz, the new world... she was worried about who had the "better body"?! The sheer, mind-bending wrongness of it, layered on top of the terrifying situation, almost broke my brain.
Okay, this wasn't working. Panic wasn't getting through. Pleading wasn't getting through. Explaining the truth hadn't gotten through. She was stuck in her own, deeply disturbing logic loop. I had to try something else. Something... serious. Something that might shock her back to reality, just like my shout had, but maybe harder.
"Hey sis," I forced the words out, trying to keep my voice steady, despite my heart hammering. "Can't you just say that you're so horny that you're fine with this even if the one you're doing this with is your brother."
The words felt disgusting coming out of my mouth. It wasn't true. I knew it wasn't true. Akari, despite... well, everything she was doing right now, wasn't like that. I remembered all the boys who had tried, and she'd shut them down without a second thought. She wasn't some easy target. So why... why was she doing this now? It defied everything I thought I knew about her, even my detached observations.
"Dare say that again" Her eyes widened further, her expression a mixture of shock and disbelief.
"Didn't you hear me?" I repeated, trying to sound firm, trying to push past my own revulsion. "Leave me alone!"
"Not this," she said, her voice almost trembling, her eyes boring into mine. "I want to hear what you said after this."
"Listen," I said, grasping at straws, trying to find words that might cut through this madness. "It's okay if you're horny right now. It's a weird world, I get it. But you can easily find some other guy. So please, please don't steal your own brother's virginity." I didn't even know if I was a virgin, technically, given the whole death-and-rebirth thing, but it was the only leverage I could think of.
Her face hardened again. The blush was still there, but her eyes got a cold look. "You mean I'm not a virgin," she stated flatly. "Fine, I'll show you."
My blood ran cold. Show me? What was she going to do?! This was escalating in ways I couldn't possibly have predicted.
Before I could even process it, a strange light pulsed from her hand, a flash of the magic she'd used to heal last night. My body went rigid. I couldn't move. Paralyzed. Fear, cold and absolute, flooded me.
Then, she reached down and, with terrifying efficiency, took off my pants. My mind screamed, a silent, panicked wail. This was happening. This was really happening.
She shifted slightly, still sitting on me, her eyes fixed on mine with that intense, troubled look. Then, she reached for the hem of her own simple tunic, lifting it. My eyes were wide with horror, locked on her face, then forced downwards as she continued.
"Let me tell you, if you don't know," she said, her voice strangely detached, almost instructional, while she started pulling down her underwear. "If a girl is virgin, her hymen is intact. If she does intercourse with someone, due to the penetration, the hymen breaks and blood starts coming out of her... that area."
OMG she's... she's not stopping. This can't be real. This is a nightmare. My body was frozen, but my mind was screaming, trying to claw its way out of this horrifying reality.
She reached down, her eyes still locked on mine, and grabbed my... my penis. A jolt of pure shock, disgust, and terror shot through me. My breath hitched, a strangled sound caught in my throat.
"Sis," I forced the word out, my voice trembling, trying one last desperate tactic, one last appeal to... something. "Listen to me. One last thing. If you do this... the one disappearing this time... will be me. If you don't want that, stop doing this."
She paused. Her hand tightened slightly around me, but she stopped moving. Her eyes searched mine, the intensity unwavering. "But." The single word hung in the air, a flicker of hesitation.
"I know you're a virgin," I said, pushing, hoping this was the right button, the thing that mattered to her most. "And that you're a brocon too," I used the label, the cynical internal thought now spoken aloud, hoping it might somehow explain her behaviour, give it a name she'd recognize, even if it was a cruel one. "Which is why you're doing this, correct?"
Her face flushed a deep, angry red. She knew that word. It hit home.
"You know this..." she said, her voice tight, strained, the blush making her look even more distraught. "...but... you're still... not doing... this..."
It wasn't a question. It was confused, hurt disbelief. Why, knowing this about her, was I still rejecting her?
"Because I don't want to," I said, the simplest, most honest truth I could offer in this insane situation. It wasn't about her body, or Sarah's, or being horny, or punishment, or duty. It was just... I didn't want this. Not like this. Not from her. Not ever.
The red on her face seemed to deepen. She still held me, her body still pinning mine. "Then why did you do this with her?" she demanded, the question snapping, linking back to the original misunderstanding, the lie that started this horrifying turn. "Now you have to do this with me too!"
"As I've said before," I repeated, exhaustion seeping into my voice, despite the panic still thrumming through me. "I haven't done this. Also, if I'll feel like doing it, I'll let you know, okay?" It was a desperate attempt at negotiation, a ridiculous promise to an abuser, anything to make this stop.
She looked down at me, still straddling me, still holding me, her face a mess of red, confusion, anger, and something that looked like wounded pride. She looked... unsatisfied. Utterly, terrifyingly unsatisfied.
After that, she finally let me go.