Fucked.
That's my life now.
When I opened my eyes, I was in some unknown place.
A room decked out with weirdly luxurious stuff plastered on antique wallpaper.
At first, I thought I'd passed out mid-game and got hauled to a hospital…
But that idea didn't last long.
Why?
Because when I peeked in the mirror, a handsome kid with a dark vibe stared back at me.
And I know that face way too damn well.
It's Eugene Calliope—the main character of Academy's Assistant Teacher, the game I've been obsessed with.
I yanked at my face and even ripped out a chunk of hair facing that insane reality, but in the end, I had to accept it.
I am Eugene Calliope.
"…That fucking dog of a director."
I slumped into a chair, clutching my forehead with one hand.
Meanwhile, I kicked myself for ever envying those novel characters who fall into game worlds.
Never thought I'd end up in a game loaded with death traps.
I used to think the protagonists were just whining for no reason despite having it good.
But now that I'm living it? Yeah, this is fucked beyond belief.
My teeth ground together.
That devil bitch.
No matter how much I cursed her out in those emails, is it really okay to dump a guy into a shitshow game like this?
If I ever get back, I'm coming for revenge.
When I first woke up here, I spent a while denying it—yelling into the void to send me back, even threatening to jump out the window if she didn't, calling it my "salvation."
No response. Just silence.
Whatever. I've got to face it now.
I've fallen into this game world, and I have to live here.
No—not just live. I've got to claw my way to a happy ending.
This isn't about justice or some manager's plea. It's survival, pure and simple.
Why? If you don't conquer it, you're screwed.
That's it, right?
"Let's make a plan first."
If this world matches the game, tomorrow's the academy entrance ceremony.
That means I've got to milk every second of prep time I've got.
Once school starts, I won't even have a moment to think straight.
Sure, I could ditch the academy, hunt down that director to fuck her up, and live somewhere else—but that's a death wish.
Most of the events I know happen inside the academy.
Outside? I barely know shit about what goes down.
Survive in a world where I'm clueless?
…Even imagining it makes my skin crawl.
Even if I got insanely lucky and survived outside, all that waits at the end is a bad ending.
To use my knowledge and get stronger, I've got to stick to the academy. No question.
Sighing, I glanced out the window. A grand, polished building stared back—one that'd be a tourist trap in the real world.
Carnea Academy.
The most elite academy in the Aka Assistant Teacher world.
A place where royalty, high nobles, and their spoiled brats enroll.
You can't even dream of setting foot here without serious power, money, or talent.
And yet, here I am—Eugene Calliope, the third son of some family—enrolled despite the odds.
There's backstory and bullshit tied to it, but who gives a fuck right now?
What matters is how I'm going to conquer this world.
"Of course…"
Top priority: build my skills.
This batshit game has combat tougher than most RPGs.
If I don't want random mobs curb-stomping me, I've got to pump up my stats.
But there's a catch…
[Name: Eugene Calliope]
[Occupation: None]
[Title: None]
[Ability Level]
Strength: 10 | Agility: 10 | Stamina: 10
Intelligence: 10 | Magic: 10 | Luck: 10
[Skills]
None
[Traits]
None
Look at this pathetic-ass stat sheet.
All 10s across the board.
To put it in perspective, this is the level of some punk who picks a fight outside the academy early on and gets his ass handed to him.
I laughed out loud.
When I cleared the first run and saw the ending, I didn't care about skills or traits.
But this? This is too fucking much!
Now that the game's my reality, shouldn't there be some hero-tier stat boost? Or is it just telling me to go die?
Fine, whatever. Let's say the stats are garbage.
I've memorized most of the events and items that boost them. If I don't croak before then, I can grind them up.
But can I just tank it and boost my stats like a madman?
"…No fucking way."
Most main events are locked unless you've trained a heroine to a certain level.
I'd love to call bullshit on a main event barring the protagonist, but in this fucked-up game, it somehow makes sense.
Right after enrollment, you can't even join the first boss fight without a decently trained heroine assistant.
Alright.
It's about the assistant.
I've got to train a heroine.
Me—a guy who can't even hold a woman's hand IRL because I'm glued to sex games—has to train a woman.
Last time I talked to a girl? Asking for a bag at a convenience store gig.
Even then, I've been ordering shit online lately, so I haven't spoken to one in over a year.
"…I'm fucked."
What kind of psycho bitch expects a yagame otaku to train a woman?
Games and reality aren't the same damn thing!
Rubbing my pounding forehead, I grabbed a pen from the desk and jotted down what I'd need to reach the ending:
Find a job
Pick a heroine to train
Grab traits and titles
Dodge death events
Hunt growth events
There's other small shit, but right now, a job's the priority.
Even if I dodge events, they'll come for me anyway.
And the heroine assistant?
No clue.
I've got to do it, but future me can figure that shit out.
First up: a job.
[Please select a job.]
▶[Knight] ▶[Wizard] ▶[Special Ability]
See? The status window's nagging me to pick already.
In Aka Assistant Teacher, jobs split into three main paths:
Knight: Raw physical power.
Wizard: Magic mastery.
Special Ability: Mind-based specialization.
In my first run, when I cleared Lucia and got the normal ending, I went Knight.
Lucia's a wizard, so I picked it for balance. Plus, it was the least painful choice.
And since I played it to the end, I know the most about Knights…
"Knight's off the fucking table."
No way I'm picking it now.
Back then, I was a game character—not me. I could fight through gut stabs and lost limbs.
Now? If I so much as nick a finger or hear a harsh word, I'd scream and roll around like a bitch.
…And more importantly, it's about the ending.
Knights can't get a happy ending.
That's my take.
Sure, you can scrape by and see an ending, but it's just the normal one—not even a bad one.
I'm not living in a world like that.
Wizards?
Better than Knight, but still a headache.
You've got to memorize chants for every element and juggle mana just right.
Can I even pull that off?
My memory's solid—I might nail the chants—but how long until I can sense mana in a fight?
If it's harder than learning to walk and then sprinting as an athlete, I'm screwed. It's not easy either way.
That leaves Special Ability.
It's like Wizard, but where Wizards are jacks-of-all-trades with elemental magic, Special Abilities are one-trick ponies.
You can use instinctive powers outside elemental magic, no chants needed—but you're stuck with that one ability.
"…Wizard or Special Ability?"
Balanced mage or a single-point specialist?
While I hesitated over the status window, something shiny blinked in the corner.
▶✉
A little envelope icon pulsed, begging me to click it.
Like I was in a trance, I pressed it, and a message popped up:
▶There is 1 unchecked message.◀
"…Check message."
Then a flood of text hit me:
『Congratulations. You've become an assistant teacher at the academy. First clear confirmed.』
『Calculating score. Please keep the status window open and wait.』
『First Clear Bonus: +300%』
『Normal Ending Bonus: +33%』
『Heroine Conquest Bonus: +25%』
『Lucia Urella Full Conquest Bonus: +200%』
『Special Event Bonus: +37%』
『Forced Transfer Bonus: +150%』
…
『Total Points: 774%』
『Searching for perks matching your score. Please wait.』
『Search complete. No results match your score.』
『Checking for errors…』
『Error identified.』
Cause: Score exceeds expected range.
『Error Correction Proposal』
Increase reward tier.
『Approval granted: First Clear Privilege (Rank S) upgraded.』
『Granting First Clear Privilege (Rank EX).』
『Would you like to claim the First Clear Privilege?』
▶Yes. ▶No.
I've never heard of a first clear reward.
Then again, I'm the first to clear it—where would I hear about it?
Whatever. It's a privilege—an EX-rank one that gets your blood pumping just hearing it.
If it even slightly helps me survive this hellhole game, why wouldn't I take it?
I picked "Yes" with a shaky breath.
◆◇◆◇ Fanfare! Congratulations. ◆◇◆◇
A chime rang out as the message rolled in.
I gulped, staring at the first clear reward.
An EX-rank perk isn't just "a little" help.
If it's like this…
"Could this be worth it?"
I might've just found my ticket to surviving this fucked-up game.