How did we fall, brothers and sisters?
Last week?
We were gods.
NUMBA ONE.
But now?
Number. Freaking. Seven.
We were warriors.
Now we're whispers.
We were prophets.
Now we are Power Stone paupers, sitting on the side of the street like:
"Spare a vote, sir? Just one click?"
I am sad. But show must go on.
Most Liked Countries and Cultures(Listed according to the time of comment):
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"Let's get married!"
Half the class turned at the same time.
Mina made some inhuman noise, her whole body vibrating. "Oh my god."
Aizawa didn't even blink. "No."
Ms. Joke pouted. "Cold as ever, Eraser!"
Mina grabbed Kaminari's arm, shaking him. "Did you hear that?!"
Kaminari, still trying to process, just nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I heard it."
Hagakure clapped her hands together. "Wait, wait, does this happen often?!"
Iida adjusted his glasses like they were fogging up from secondhand embarrassment. "It appears so."
Aizawa exhaled through his nose. "Don't start."
Mina ignored him completely. "Ms. Joke, please, I need details!"
Ms. Joke threw an arm around Aizawa's shoulder like he wasn't already regretting his existence. "Oh, me and Eraser go way back! We used to train together!"
"You mean you used to harass me," Aizawa muttered.
"Semantics," Ms. Joke waved him off. "I keep telling him we would make a great team! Think about it—Eraserhead and Ms. Joke, the ultimate hero couple!"
Jiro looked at Aizawa. "Yeah, teach, why not?"
"Not happening."
Ms. Joke gasped dramatically. "How could you say that in front of the kids?!"
Aizawa gave her a look that was probably supposed to be intimidating, but she just grinned wider. "Let's focus on the exam."
"Aw, you're no fun."
Mina clutched her chest. "No, he's fun, he's just repressed!"
Sero snickered. "Man, I think I like her."
Yaoyorozu tried to bring some order back. "Ms. Joke, could you introduce your students?"
Ms. Joke turned like she just remembered they were there. "Oh, right! This is Ketsubutsu Academy's second-year hero class!"
One of the students stepped forward, a tall guy with short brown hair. He gave a polite nod. "Shindo Yo."
His smile was friendly. Too friendly. The kind of friendly that made my survival instincts kick in.
Bakugo noticed too. "Tch. Fake-ass grin."
Shindo's smile didn't budge. "You must be Bakugo. Heard a lot about you."
Bakugo's hands twitched. "I don't give a shit what you heard."
Shindo just kept smiling. "Looking forward to competing with you all."
Aizawa grabbed the back of my neck and chucked me straight at Ms. Joke.
"I choose you, Ryuu. Shit talk."
I swatted his hand away. "I am not a damn Pokémon."
Ms. Joke clapped. "Ohhh, good choice, Eraser! This one's got bite!"
I cracked my neck. "More like rabies."
She beamed. "Even better! Hey, kid, you ever considered a career in comedy? You got that natural 'I'm dead inside but still functioning' energy."
I gave her a slow nod. "Yeah, 'cause getting kidnapped and thrown into life-or-death situations really builds character."
"See? That's the spirit! Aizawa, you should take notes."
Aizawa sighed like he was regretting every life decision that led him here. "No."
Ms. Joke leaned in. "He acts like this now, but I swear, back in the day, he was even worse. You think he's a grump now? You should've seen him in training. Absolute gremlin."
I smirked. "So what I'm hearing is, he's always been like this, but now he just looks older while doing it."
"Exactly! Look at this man." She gestured dramatically at him. "Tell me, how much of your hair loss is stress, and how much is just time catching up?"
Aizawa didn't even blink. "More than you'll ever know."
Kaminari snickered. "Man, this is the best thing I've seen all day."
Ms. Joke nudged me. "Kid, I think I like you. You wanna be my sidekick? We can call you—" She snapped her fingers. "—Captain Sass."
I deadpanned. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."
Bakugo scoffed. "He already acts like a sidekick. A shitty one."
I turned to him. "Oh, my bad. You want me to get you a juice box before your nap, Lord Explosion?"
He snarled like a feral blender, "I will murder you."
Ms. Joke gasped. "Oh! I get it now! You're like a support character in a sitcom, just here to roast everyone."
"Pretty much."
Aizawa rubbed his temples. "Enough."
Ms. Joke grinned. "Aww, come on, Eraser, you gotta admit—he's got talent."
He looked at me. "His talent is being annoying."
–
We walked into the exam hall that looked like discounted Chunin Exam. Tch. Too many people.
1,540 hero candidates, all gathered in one place. Some had matching uniforms, meaning their schools had battle-tested teams. Others stood confidently, already sizing up the competition. And then there were the loud ones—idiots flexing their quirks like that would help them pass.
"Alright. Er… well then, let us begin that provisional license thing." The guy running this show, Mera or something, his eyes look dead inside, like a man who has seen too much bureaucracy and not enough pillows.
He looked like he had not slept in a year. Messy hair, dead eyes, and an energy level lower than an empty battery. "My name is Mera. I am from the Hero Public Safety Commission. My favorite form of sleep is nREM sleep. Good to meet you all."
Was this seriously the guy in charge?
"We will carry out an exercise to whittle down your numbers," he continued, barely trying to sound interested. "There are 1,540 of you here. The world is oversaturated with heroes. A hero cannot seek compensation for his efforts. It is a title one must be willing to go the greatest lengths of self-sacrifice to earn."
Mera is quick about breaking down the reality: the number of heroes is exploding, expectations are brutal, and the window between an incident happening and a hero solving it is getting smaller. Long story short, speed is the name of the game, and if you cannot keep up, you are out.
Then he drops the bomb: out of the 1,540 of us in this room, only 100 will pass.
That is a pass rate of around 5%. I glance around the room. That means only one out of every fifteen people here is going to walk out with a license. The rest? Just a bunch of extras in a reality show designed to break spirits.
He started explaining the rules of the first test. We each get six balls, and we have to use them to hit other people's three targets. If all three of your targets light up, you are out. If you take down two people, you pass. Simple, right? Except for the fact that everyone here is probably already plotting to form alliances or target the weakest first.
Mera sighed. "Anyway. Try not to die."
And with that, the first round of the exam began.
The walls folded away like cheap stage props, revealing a massive battlefield with scattered rocks and uneven terrain. It looked like a construction site mid-demolition—perfect for a battle royale. Three judges nodded in approval. Mera barely mustered the energy to signal the start before disappearing back into whatever bureaucratic void spawned him.
The second the match began, everyone turned to us.
"It starts with U.A. crashing," someone muttered.
No shit. That was probably half the strategy meetings in this room. Target U.A. first, eliminate the biggest threat early. Logical, if not painfully predictable.
[IT IS I, SYSTEM. ARRIVING JUST IN TIME TO GIVE EXAM QUEST. ARE YOU SURPRISED? ARE YOU SURPRISED?]
I ignored that. Instead, I turned to the class. "Follow me, dumbasses."
Balls—hundreds of them—flew toward us like a damn meteor shower. I swung my bat.
"Hey, this is just like baseball. Not bat."
[NEW QUEST: LICENSE TO WIN - OR GET YOUR ASS HANDED TO YOU
OBJECTIVE: Pass the Provisional Hero License Exam by any means necessary. Try not to embarrass yourself too much.
REWARD:
+750 XP
+? Stat Points (Distributed Based on Performance)
New System Feature Unlock: Crafting Room (Now You Can Build Stupid Shit at Your Convenience!)
Skill Unlock (??? - Conditional on Actions Taken)
Reputation Increase (Among Pro Heroes & Exam Officials)
One Mystery Reward
FAILURE:
No License, No Glory.
Massive XP Deduction.
Embarrassment on a National Level.
Endless Roast Sessions from Bakugo.
Possible Remedial Course (A.K.A. Summer School But Worse).
[SUB-QUESTS]
1. DROP INTO CHAOS
TASK: The exam is starting. There is no warm-up. No tutorial. Sink or swim, loser. Avoid getting wiped out in the first five minutes.
REWARD: +50 XP, +1 Awareness (Hidden Stat)
2. TARGET LOCKED
TASK: Every wannabe hero in this hellhole wants to take down U.A. first. Good luck with that. Don't get eliminated by the first wave of attacks.
REWARD: +100 XP, Small Reputation Boost
3. DEATH DODGEBALL - BATTLE ROYALE EDITION
TASK: The first stage involves an unfair game of dodgeball. Except the balls explode. Knock out at least three competitors.
REWARD: +75 XP, +1 Agility x Eliminated Opponents
4. HOMERUN THEIR ASSES
TASK: Eliminate a person just by batting their balls back to their targets. No need for fancy quirks—just pure reflexes, brutality, and baseball skills. Bonus points if you call your shot before doing it.
REWARD: +75 XP, New Active Skill (Rebound Strike - Redirect Incoming Projectiles with Increased Speed & Force)
5. SHOWOFFS VS. STRATEGISTS
TASK: Some people are here to flex their quirks. Others actually want to pass. Figure out which one you are. Take down at least one enemy by outsmarting them.
REWARD: +100 XP, +1 to Intelligence x Outplayed Opponents
6. SURVIVAL OF THE SMARTEST
TASK: The second stage is here, and it's way worse than the first. Think fast or get benched. Adapt to whatever bullshit they throw at you.
REWARD: +150 XP, New Passive Skill (Last Second Save - Small Chance to Auto-Dodge an Attack When Caught Off-Guard)
7. TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK - OR JUST MAKES IT LESS SHITTY
TASK: Work with at least two classmates to win a round. Bonus points if one of them is Bakugo without him trying to explode you.
REWARD: +125 XP, +1 Charisma x Number of Teammates Assisted
8. THINK FAST, DIE LAST (Unchanged)
TASK: Use the environment, unexpected tactics, or good old-fashioned bullshit to get the upper hand. Minimum: One successful environmental takedown.
REWARD: +150 XP, New Active Skill (Momentum Shift - Convert Dodged Attacks into Temporary Strength Buffs)
9. SHOWDOWN WITH THE FINAL TEST (ASSISTANCE MODE)
TASK: This last challenge is some next-level nonsense. Contribute without getting yeeted out of the competition.
REWARD: +250 XP, ??? (Hidden Reward Based on Performance)
10. FINAL CHALLENGE
TASK: Get to the end. Survive. Win. Profit.
REWARD: +200 XP, +1 to Stamina x Minutes Survived
[BONUS OBJECTIVES]
GIVE A SICK ONE-LINER BEFORE KNOCKING SOMEONE OUT
REWARD: +50 XP, +1 Charisma x Number of One-Liners
STEAL ANOTHER SCHOOL'S STRATEGY & USE IT BETTER THAN THEM
REWARD: +75 XP, +1 Intelligence x Number of Times Used
GET BAKUGO TO WORK WITH YOU WITHOUT HIM THROWING A FIT
REWARD: +100 XP, New Dialogue Option Unlock - "Strategic Negotiation"
MAKE SOMEONE RETHINK THEIR LIFE CHOICES MID-FIGHT
REWARD: +??? (Based on actions taken)
INSULT A PROCTOR IN A WAY THAT MAKES THEM HESITATE
REWARD: +30 XP, +1 Intelligence x Seconds of Awkward Silence
I glanced at the quest log, not expecting much, and yeah, nothing really useful. One of them lined up with what I was about to do anyway, so whatever. I kept swinging, knocking a few balls into targets. "Hah! Take that, bastards." The ones who got hit cursed or stumbled back, but no time to celebrate—more were coming.
Class 1-A crouched and moved, slipping past the attempted encirclement. Bakugo blasted someone in the face. Kaminari almost tripped. Mineta was already crying. Business as usual.
I nudged Yaoyorozu. "Yaoyao, come up with something. We can't just run around like headless chickens."
She tensed, glancing around. "I—I need a moment—"
"We don't have one," I cut in. "This is your thing. You're smart. Just call it."
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