Fury's gaze was steady, assessing.
"If Thor is here," he asked, "what happens next?"
Lucifer shrugged, unconcerned.
"Oh, probably nothing too exciting," he mused, stretching lazily. "I might take a trip to Mexico, see what this Thor fellow is up to—purely for curiosity's sake, of course."
Fury narrowed his eye slightly, clearly about to press further—
But before he could, Lucifer turned in his seat, golden eyes landing squarely on Matt.
"And what about you, Matt?" he purred. "Care to meet an alien?"
Matt tilted his head, considering.
He was, admittedly, curious—meeting an Asgardian wasn't exactly something that happened every day.
But after a beat, he sighed, shaking his head.
"I have to get back to campus soon," he said. "Got to do some paperwork for my scholarship and be ready to move out before the semester officially ends."
Lucifer's expression dropped into theatrical disappointment.
"Tragic," he sighed, placing a dramatic hand over his chest.
The his golden eyes gleamed with mischief, his voice dipping into something lower, silkier.
"Would you like a goodbye party before we part ways? I can make it as fun as the welcoming feast I've got," he teased.
Matt's cheeks darkened slightly before he exhaled sharply, clearly trying to play it cool.
"Tempting," he muttered, clearing his throat, "but I think I'll pass."
Lucifer grinned. "Pity."
Mazikeen snorted into her drink.
Matt, pointedly ignoring her, turned to away, clearly attempting to change the subject.
Lucifer, taking pity on him, allowed it until Fury, watching the exchange with something too analytical, casually remarked—
"You sure he's not a little young for you?"
Matt blinked.
Then, flatly, "I'm almost twenty-five."
Fury didn't miss a beat.
"I know."
His tone was even, calm, unreadable—but the meaning behind it was clear.
They had his file.
Matt's expression didn't change, but Lucifer grinned.
"Well, well," he purred. "So you do keep tabs on interesting people."
Fury didn't respond.
Lucifer tilted his head, golden eyes gleaming.
"Though, really, Director," he sighed, stretching lazily, "if being born slightly later than time itself makes everyone too young for me…"
He smirked, voice dipping into something mockingly contemplative.
"Then, I'm afraid, that would make the entire universe off-limits."
Mazikeen grinned. "That would be tragic."
Lucifer chuckled, turning back to Matt with a teasing smirk.
"Dear Matt is mature enough to consent, so we shared a nice evening of mutual pleasure," he smirked at Matt's red cheeks. "He's hardly the first to catch my eye, and he certainly won't be the last."
Matt sighed deeply, shaking his head as he kicked his shin under the table. Lucifer smiled wider and answered with a soft kick in return.
Fury, still unimpressed, simply exhaled slowly.
"Right," he muttered. "Enough of that."
Lucifer grinned.
"Oh, come now, Director," he teased. "Afraid of a little harmless romance?"
Fury ignored him.
Instead, he pushed forward.
"Let's get back to the hammer," he said.
Lucifer sighed dramatically, stretching his arms over his head.
"As riveting as this little back-and-forth has been," he drawled, golden eyes gleaming with mischief, "I'm afraid I grow terribly tired of it."
Fury's expression remained flat.
Natasha didn't react, but Lucifer caught the subtle shift in her posture.
Matt, sipping his coffee, didn't even look surprised.
Mazikeen grinned. "Finally."
Lucifer smirked, rising from his seat with a graceful ease.
"I do so hate being kept in one place for too long," he mused, smoothing his sleeves. "So, if that's all, I think I'll be—"
"You're not leaving yet."
Fury's voice was calm, steady.
Lucifer paused, arching a brow, clearly amused.
"Oh?" he purred. "And why is that, exactly?"
Fury exhaled slowly, fingers tapping lightly against the table.
"Because we're not done here," he said.
Lucifer chuckled, shaking his head.
"Oh, Director," he sighed. "I am done here. Whether you are or not? That's hardly my concern."
Fury's eye narrowed slightly, but his expression remained controlled.
"You don't like being questioned," he noted.
Lucifer smirked.
"Oh, I love being questioned," he corrected smoothly. "It's just that I have better things to do than run in circles with government types who think they can outmaneuver me."
Matt, now leaning back in his seat, simply watched the exchange, clearly entertained.
Fury, unimpressed, leaned forward slightly.
"And what exactly do you have that's better to do?"
Lucifer's grin widened.
"Why, Director," he purred, golden eyes glinting with amusement, "I'm going to go have fun."
Maze grinned. "About damn time."
Fury sighed, rubbing his temple.
"This is going to be a headache."
Lucifer beamed. "Oh, but what fun would life be without a little chaos?"
With that, he snapped his fingers, the world shifted—
And he, Matt and Maze vanished.
Gone was the dimly lit lounge, the weight of Fury's scrutiny, the ever-watchful presence of Natasha Romanoff.
Now—
They stood outside Columbia University, the late morning sun casting warm light over the campus.
Students milled about, carrying textbooks, coffee cups, and the weight of academic stress.
Matt exhaled through his nose, shaking his head.
"Would it kill you to warn me before teleporting us?" he muttered, adjusting his bag.
Lucifer grinned, entirely unrepentant.
"But where's the fun in that?" he purred.
Mazikeen rolled her shoulders, already bored.
"So," she said, glancing around at the students with mild disinterest, "we babysit the lawyer while he does his little paperwork, and then we go to Mexico?"
Lucifer sighed dramatically.
"Unfortunately, my dear Maze," he mused, "we must first handle the very mundane task of securing a place to stay."
Mazikeen groaned. "Oh, come on. We have Hell. Just pop back in whenever you want to sleep."
Lucifer arched a brow.
"And risk Amenadiel nagging me the second I step back in?" he asked dryly. "Absolutely not."
Matt smirked slightly. "I take it your brother doesn't approve of vacations?"
Lucifer scoffed. "Oh, he loathes them. Heaven forbid I actually enjoy myself."
Mazikeen snorted. "Heaven forbids a lot of things."
Lucifer chuckled. "Exactly."
Matt shook his head, adjusting his grip on his bag.
"Alright," he said, "You two figure out where you're staying while I deal with this. I'll meet you in Hell's Kitchen later."
Lucifer pouted.
"Oh, must you be responsible, Matt?" he sighed. "How tragically dull."
Matt arched a brow. "Some of us still have scholarships to keep."
Lucifer grinned.
"Ah, yes. The noble path of law and justice," he mused. "Tell me, does it feel strange? Walking into a school meant for mere mortals while you've had the Devil's lips on yours?"
Matt exhaled sharply, determinedly ignoring the heat creeping up his neck.
Mazikeen, thoroughly entertained, grinned.
Lucifer beamed.
"Oh, I do love flustering you, Matt."
Matt sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"I'll see you both later," he muttered before turning toward the campus building.
Lucifer watched him go, clearly pleased with himself.
Mazikeen smirked. "So, where to, boss?"
Lucifer sighed, stretching his arms.
"Let's find a penthouse," he purred. "Something extravagant."
Mazikeen rolled her eyes.
"You're such a snob," she muttered.
Lucifer grinned.
"My dear Maze," he mused, golden eyes gleaming, "if you're going to spend eternity on Earth, you might as well do it in style."
With that—
He snapped his fingers.
And the search for the perfect penthouse began.
Naturally, Lucifer was going to make a spectacle of it.
.
The first realtor—an overly enthusiastic woman in a perfectly pressed blazer—led them into a sleek, ultra-modern penthouse overlooking Central Park.
Lucifer lasted exactly fifteen seconds before he made a face of utter disgust.
"Oh, absolutely not," he muttered, stepping further inside with an expression like he'd just walked into a crime scene.
Mazikeen arched a brow. "What's wrong with it?"
Lucifer waved a hand dramatically.
"Darling, look at it! It's so… sterile."
The place was all white walls, glass furniture, and cold LED lighting. A modern marvel to some—an abomination to Lucifer.
"I refuse to live in a place that looks like an art gallery designed by someone with the personality of a wet tissue," he declared.
The realtor, trying very hard to remain professional, laughed nervously.
"It's a very sought-after property," she said.
"Well, let someone soulless have it," Lucifer huffed, turning on his heel. "Next!"
.
The Third place had promise—high ceilings, dark wood flooring, and a spacious rooftop terrace.
Lucifer wandered the space, considering.
"Hmm," he mused, golden eyes flicking around critically.
Mazikeen plopped onto the couch, arms crossed. "This one isn't bad."
Lucifer nodded slowly. "No, it's not bad—"
Then he stepped into the bathroom.
And immediately gasped in horror.
Mazikeen sighed. "Now what?"
Lucifer turned, expression aghast.
"Look at this! The tub is tiny! I could barely fit a wing in there, let alone properly soak in sinful indulgence!"
Mazikeen peered inside. "...It's normal size."
Lucifer scoffed. "Normal? I am not normal, Maze."
The realtor, sensing another lost sale, started to speak—
But Lucifer was already heading for the exit.
"Next!"
.
The Sixth penthouse?
Stunning.
Floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city, a massive open-concept space with a private bar, a proper luxurious bathroom with a deep soaking tub—
Lucifer was impressed.
Mazikeen leaned against the bar, eyeing the liquor selection. "This might be the one."
Lucifer smirked, running his fingers over the marble countertop.
"Hmm. It is rather exquisite," he admitted.
Then—
His golden eyes scanned the room one last time before his expression dropped.
Mazikeen noticed immediately.
"We've spent hours in this, what now?" she groaned.
Lucifer exhaled sharply.
"There's no piano," he said flatly.
Mazikeen blinked.
"...Are you serious?"
Lucifer turned to her, offended.
"Maze," he said, placing a hand over his chest, "I simply cannot exist in a home without a piano. It is essential to my well-being."
Mazikeen groaned. "Just buy a piano."
Lucifer narrowed his eyes.
"It's the principle of the thing," he muttered.
The realtor, desperate to salvage the sale, immediately blurted—
"We could have one moved in within the day!"
Lucifer paused.
Mazikeen smirked.
"Alright," he said slowly, golden eyes gleaming. "Now we're talking."
.
By the time they finalized the deal, the realtor had learned that Lucifer Morningstar was a man of very specific, non-negotiable standards:
✔ A massive, fully stocked bar.
✔ A bathroom worthy of indulgence and sin.
✔ Floor-to-ceiling windows for dramatic brooding.
✔ A penthouse high enough to look down on people (literally and figuratively).
✔ A grand piano, or the sale is off.
.
Mazikeen watched the paperwork get signed, amused.
"You do realize you could've just warped reality to give yourself the perfect place, right?" she asked.
Lucifer smirked, signing his name with a flourish.
"Yes," he said, "but where's the fun in that?"
Mazikeen just shook her head.
"Alright, then," she said, stretching. "Now that your royal ass has a place to sleep—"
Lucifer grinned.
"—Now can we go to Mexico?"
.
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Also, if you want to support me and read up to fifteen chapters ahead, go to my p@treon: JorieDS