Hello everyone! Sorry if I've been neglecting this story a bit lately. To be honest, I haven't had many ideas to keep it going. The ones I do get tend to get too serious for a series that's supposed to be mostly comedic.
Luckily, while goofing around, I came up with a few chapters, so here's one for you. Just a heads up: this novel won't be released as quickly as the others, mainly because it gets the least support on any platform. And I get it " after all, it's more like a collection of bizarre situations and Kara being a complete idiot.
With that said, here's the chapter, with a small time skip of a couple of days. Hope you enjoy it!
....
Zoro, the Infernal Nap, and Kara's Wrath
Zoro had accepted a mission from Kara, which could only mean one thing: getting into trouble in the New World. Right now, he was standing on an island completely engulfed in flames.
"Why does everyone disappear every time I close my eyes?" Zoro growled, looking around as if staring hard enough would magically summon his crew. He had just woken from a glorious nap on the shore of a burning island, and a suspicion was taking shape in his mind: those idiots had pulled another damn prank on him. Again.
And as always, he was going to beat them all up once he found them.
Buru buru buru.Click!
"Idiots! Your joke isn't funny! Come find me right now!" Zoro barked into the den den mushi, his tone unsure if it was more anger or nap-interruption frustration.
"Zoro? Where are you?" Uta's voice came through, urgent but trying to stay calm, breathing a little heavy.
"What do you mean 'where'? Where you left me, obviously!" Zoro answered with perfect logic.
"Do you have the magic camera Kara gave you? Please take a picture and send it now!"
Zoro sighed like someone asked him to read a book. He pulled from his pocket a strange square device with a round tear-shaped lens in the center. It was one of the magic cameras made by the old man Makarov " "thanks to the legal wonders of the 'Copyright-Free Multiverse,' I could build whatever I wanted without anyone suing me."
Zoro aimlessly snapped several photos and pressed a button. The images projected on the floating tear looked like vacation slides… in hell.
"How did you… get there?" Uta said, on the verge of a nervous breakdown. "Wait, I'm calling Kara's sister!"
Zoro crossed his arms, resigned. The den den mushi went silent for a moment, until suddenly...
"Hey, idiot! How the hell did you end up on a deserted island?! It's not even close to where you're supposed to be looking for that stupid Caesar Clown!" Kara yelled in fury, like a mother fed up with her rebellious son.
"I just… took a nap on the ship… and woke up here," Zoro replied calmly, scratching his ear as if nothing was wrong.
"A NAP?! How long can a damn nap last?! Uta and Chopper have been looking for you for A WEEK!" Kara shouted, on the brink of collapse. "You're a pain in the ass! I'm supposed to be the pain in the ass! What are you doing stealing my job?! Now I'm gonna have to take it out on someone!"
Click!
Kara hung up abruptly, leaving Zoro holding the den den mushi.
"She didn't tell me to come back… so I'm probably in the right place," he said with impeccable logic. And with no hurry at all, he started walking through the flames like it was Sunday.
...….
Meanwhile…
Kara stood trembling with frustration, a vein throbbing on her forehead like it might summon an earthquake. She turned to Chopper and Uta, who watched her with a mix of respect and fear.
"Go find that idiot. He's on the island where I punched Akainu years ago. Take Tashigi with you. And tell Smoker that if he complains, I'll handle him myself."
"Yes, ma'am!" they said in unison, shooting off like magical missiles.
Kara watched them leave… and sighed.
"I'm working way too hard."
.....
"Sir, we have an emergency," said a soldier as she rushed into Kuzan's office, where he was buried under paperwork. A few meters away, Garp and Sengoku were sipping tea with all the calm in the world.
"What happened?" Kuzan asked, frowning in resignation.
"The admiral was eaten by a Sea King," the soldier announced with concern.
Kuzan pinched the bridge of his nose, as if trying to stave off the headache that had just been triggered.
"What was she doing?" he asked, without much hope.
"Uh… according to witnesses, she was floating in the water… with several kilos of meat tied to her body," the soldier said, trying not to sound ridiculous.
"That idiot…" Kuzan muttered.
"Puahahaha!" Garp burst into laughter, nearly spitting out his tea. "Always so creative when it comes to dying!"
"Now it's your turn to suffer," Sengoku added with a satisfied smile.
"Aren't you two supposed to be retired? Why are you still loitering in my office?" Kuzan said, visibly annoyed.
"We just want to see how you handle this new generation of lunatics," Sengoku replied calmly. "Remember, you used to be one of them."
Another marine burst into the office, panting.
"Sir! I have a new urgent report!"
"What now?" Kuzan sighed, feeling his headache level up.
"The Fairy Tail guys destroyed one of our bases in the South Blue," the marine blurted.
"Why?" Kuzan asked, already expecting the worst.
"Apparently… the base captain was kidnapping children and selling them. The guild found out and… well, you know how they are."
Kuzan closed his eyes and nodded in resignation.
"Fine. Just send the bill to the guild's master."
"Y-yes sir," the soldier said before running off.
Kuzan turned his head toward Garp, who was still eating cookies like he was watching a play.
"Sensei, I need a favor."
"Pass," Garp replied instantly, not stopping his chewing.
"I was the one who took Kara to buy her rice crackers years ago… and I know where the shop is…"
"I'm in!" Garp shouted before he could finish, jumping at the chance before Sengoku could steal the mission.
...…
Meanwhile, on the other side of the same island Zoro was exploring, a ship with a lion's head on the bow slowly approached, sailing with caution.
"Is that… an island?" Usopp asked, squinting.
In front of them wasn't exactly an island, but rather a sort of natural puzzle: floating blocks of land separated by burning chasms, with fire spewing from every corner as if someone had decided to cook the place.
"Looks interesting! Let's go!" Luffy exclaimed excitedly, leaning on the railing with eyes sparkling like a kid in front of a new toy.
"Are you insane?! Why would you want to go to an island that's literally on fire?!" Nami yelled, arms crossed and frowning.
"Because it looks fun," Luffy replied with total seriousness… as if that explained everything.
Nami rolled her eyes.
The truth was, Luffy was starting to get bored. Fish-Man Island had been way too peaceful. Nothing exploded. No one wanted to fight. Not even a single dramatic scream!
As soon as they arrived, they were treated like celebrities once they found out he was Kara and Ace's brother. They met the queen, the princess, and Jimbei gave them a tourist tour. Not a single fight. Outrageous!
Jimbei had even half-agreed to join the crew, but still had to resolve some boring guild leader stuff on Fish-Man Island… bureaucracy and all that.
In the end, they did what they always did: flipped a coin (literally) to decide who would accompany Luffy. The chosen ones were Robin, Usopp, and Gin.
Nami, sighing in resignation, created a path of clouds over the fire so the small boat they carried could move forward without burning to death.
...…..
Meanwhile, on another ship speeding toward the island"one clearly different, powered by magic and the chaos of its occupants"a group of people with questionable self-control was arguing animatedly… or at least trying to.
"Ugh… I feel like throwing up…" complained a pink-haired young man, wobbling across the deck.
"That's what you get for not accepting what Kara offered you!" shouted a blonde girl with crossed arms.
"What that guy did… what was his name again?" he asked, frowning.
"Vegapunk," replied a blue-haired girl calmly while flipping through a book.
"That's it! Why didn't you go with Vegapunk like Gajeel and Laxus?" the blonde repeated, clearly offended.
"Because I had to travel by ship!" Natsu replied, as if that were a great excuse… while they were literally sailing on a ship.
"You're a complete idiot," Gray grunted, already shirtless for no apparent reason.
"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Erza shouted in a military tone while adjusting her armor. "We're approaching the spot marked by the paper."
"It's called a Vivre Card," corrected Happy, the small blue cat, floating beside her with his usual grin.
"That's what I said!" Erza roared… though she clearly hadn't.
And so, two groups of lunatics, each with their own style of destruction, were approaching an island that probably wouldn't survive the day.