Outside the Land of Fire, along a narrow country road…
"Hey! Senpai! There's a dango shop over there!" Tobi shouted to Deidara while dancing excitedly. "Let's take a break! I've been walking this whole time—I'm sooo tired!"
"Ahaha~~!" Tobi's obnoxious laughter echoed, followed by a puff of smoke and dust as he sprinted toward the shop.
Deidara: "…" Damn it. You didn't look tired at all a second ago.
"You've got way too much free time," Deidara muttered, watching Tobi comfortably seated in the shop, eagerly waiting for his plate of dango.
"Senpai, I know we were sent to capture a Tailed Beast," Tobi said in a teasing tone, "but we have no idea where it is anyway. Might as well take our time, right?"
Deidara's eye twitched.
"So which one are we after this time?" Tobi suddenly asked, turning to face Deidara with an exaggeratedly curious expression.
Deidara nearly exploded, veins bulging on his forehead. "Sanbi! The Three-Tails, you idiot! At least remember the mission!"
"Let's see—Ichibi… Nibi… I'm Tobi!" Tobi said, counting on his fingers like a jingle.
Deidara: "…What kind of karma led me to be partnered with this clown?!"
Suddenly, Tobi pointed at a hideous piggy bank on display in a roadside shop. "Senpai, senpai, look! That thing looks exactly like your art!"
His voice dropped to a mischievous whisper. "Could it be that your artistic style… got copied?"
A vein popped violently on Deidara's forehead.
"Ahaha!!" Tobi dashed away like a rocket, smoke trailing from his heels.
"Stop right there!" Deidara shouted, furiously throwing miniature clay bombs after him. "Let me kill you, you bastard!"
BOOM!
"Ahhh~~!" Tobi cried out as he was blasted into the air, tumbling far across the landscape…
"That little—!" Deidara growled, stomping forward.
Tobi had comically buried his head in the trunk of a tree, his butt sticking out and wiggling toward Deidara provocatively.
Deidara: "…"
He ignored the ridiculous pose and kept walking.
Da da da~ Tobi swaggered forward to cut him off again, popped out from behind a tree, and twisted his body flirtatiously. "Senpai~! I'm a high school girl who adores you~!"
Deidara didn't even flinch and walked past in silence.
"Hey! Senpai! Are you still mad?" Tobi called after him with a ridiculous grin. "Wait for me! Let's find the Three-Tails together in perfect harmony~!"
"Get lost!"
"Okay~!" Tobi waved and cheerfully turned down a fork in the road, parting ways with Deidara.
A short while later…
Tobi arrived at the edge of a wide, misty lake.
"Ohhh~" he muttered, staring at the water's surface. "I get this creepy feeling from the lake… like something terrifying's in there."
Suddenly, a massive air cannon burst out from the water— FWOOOM!
"Ahhh!" Tobi was blown back like a ragdoll.
BOOM! Just then, a giant clay bird swooped down from the sky, catching Tobi in its talons mid-air.
"As the newest member of Akatsuki, you're really making us look bad," Deidara said coldly, standing on the back of the bird and glaring down at him.
The giant bird glided low over the lake's surface, and from beneath the mist, the colossal form of the Three-Tails, Isobu, emerged slowly—its massive body rising like an island from the water.
"Whoa~ From up here, the Three-Tails really does look like a giant turtle!" Tobi exclaimed while dangling from the bird's claws. "It looks awesome~! Yup, definitely a job for you, Senpai!"
"Oi!" Deidara barked. "You're part of Akatsuki too!"
"Huh?" Tobi blinked at him.
"That's why I'm leaving this to you!" Deidara suddenly let go of the bird's grip.
"W-Wait, what?!"
SPLASH! Tobi crashed into the lake, right in front of the hulking Three-Tails, who stared at him with one ominous eye.
"Uhh…" Tobi scratched the back of his head nervously. "Would you believe me if I said I was just passing by?"
WHOOSH—BOOM!
A massive Water Release cannonball blasted toward him.
"AHHH!!" Tobi screamed, dashing across the water's surface, barely avoiding the crushing tide.
"Shouldn't water-based monsters be handled by Kisame?!" Tobi shouted as he fled. "This was a terrible assignment!!"
SPLASH! The Three-Tails lashed out with one of its tails and dragged Tobi beneath the surface.
From above, Deidara watched the chaos.
"What a disgrace," he muttered and pulled a clay fish from his pouch. He sent it swimming into the water.
Tobi, now underwater, saw the fish wriggling and shook his head frantically.
"Detonate," Deidara said calmly.
BOOOOM!! A massive explosion erupted beneath the lake.
"GYAAAH~!" The Three-Tails howled in pain and floated to the surface. Tobi was launched into the air, coughing water.
"Time to end this," Deidara said, pulling several scrolls from his pouch. "Release!"
Dozens of clay RPGs materialized on the bird. More Deidara clones emerged from the bird's body, each one armed with an RPG launcher.
"Art is… RPG!! HAH!!" The shells launched in unison, the fuses burning bright.
KA-BOOM!!
The explosions engulfed the Three-Tails—but as the smoke cleared, Deidara's eyes widened.
"NANI?!"
The Three-Tails had curled up, using its massive carapace to block the impact.
ROOOOAR!!
The beast let out a furious howl and began forming a Tailed Beast Bomb in its mouth.
At the same time, mist began rising from the lake, veiling everything in white.
"Senpai! I can't see you!" Tobi's voice called out from somewhere in the fog as he ran in circles.
"Tch!" Deidara ascended above the mist, pelting more clay into the lake, trying to flush the beast out.
"Senpai! I'm over here!" Tobi shouted again. "Be careful! You almost blew me up!"
"Stop whining and figure out how to knock this thing out!" Deidara shouted down.
Suddenly, the Three-Tails curled its entire body into a ball and began spinning like a living wheel, launching itself straight at Tobi across the lake's surface.
"AHHHHH!!" Tobi ran like a maniac, dodging left and right as the giant turtle bulldozed after him.
"Damn it!" Deidara snarled. "That shell's too tough!"
He pulled out a dummy-shaped clay bomb from his bag and dropped it. "Art is… Explosion!!"
"WAIT, SENPAI! I'M STILL DOWN HERE!!" Tobi yelled. But then, he suddenly stopped, clapped his hands, and slammed them onto the water's surface.
BOOOOM!!! A colossal wooden statue of a Senju Kannon erupted from the lake, towering over the battlefield.
"NANI?!" Deidara's jaw dropped.
"Wood Style: Wooden Golem Jutsu!" Tobi shouted, and the statue's massive arms pounded down on the spinning Three-Tails.
BOOM!!
The explosion from Deidara's clay and the slam of the Wooden Golem rocked the lake.
When the chaos finally settled, the Three-Tails floated on its back like an overturned turtle.
"Yahoo! That's it! We did it!" Tobi cheered, bouncing on the Three-Tails' stomach. "Senpai, did you see that? One hit KO with that jutsu!"
Deidara stood on his bird above, eyeing the new Akatsuki member seriously.
"As a member of Akatsuki, being entrusted with such an important task means I've proven my worth, right?" Tobi rambled cheerfully. "I'm pretty capable, huh? Right? Right? Haha!"
"No! It's because of my explosive clay art," Deidara retorted suddenly. "It's thanks to my art! Don't go getting all smug by yourself! If you're a member of Akatsuki, you need to act cooler. Remember—cool equals art! Listen well: art is *)%…"
"Senpai," Tobi said, eyes wide behind his mask. "So you're the real chatterbox after all, ahaha!"
Deidara froze.
"Eh?! Ahaha—just kidding!!"
"ART IS AN EXPLOSION!!!"
"WAAAAAAAHHH!!!"
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