The horror hit me like a cold shock. I screamed again in despair. My fury was just an empty echo against their strength. In the middle of the struggle, one of my shoes flew off.
I was dragged away as the man's impassive voice announced the next blow. A knot formed in my throat. I didn't know whether to feel grateful that I was being taken away or ashamed that I hadn't managed to save her. How many times had Karui protected me? How many times had she stopped me from being a disgrace, from being alone?
And now... now I was abandoning her.
Shouldn't a real friend do more than that?
- INO! - my scream cut through the air. - FORGIVE ME! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!
I cursed, I wailed, I screamed all the way back. The guards were holding me so tightly that I could already feel the bruises forming, but I didn't care.
I had to fight.
But in the end, I was thrown into my room like a sack of garbage. I hit the floor with a dry thud, pathetic.
And all that remained was the suffocating weight of defeat.
- This behavior is unacceptable. - said one of the guards.
- GET OUT OF MY FUCKING ROOM!
My maids cringed, their eyes watering with tears. Shizune approached to help me up, but I slapped her hands away. They knew. They knew and they didn't tell me.
- YOU TOO! YOU BASTARDS! YOU KNOW! I COULD HAVE SAVED HER, YOU BASTARDS!
Anger burned inside me. I grabbed the nearest glass and threw it against the wall. It whizzed past Samui, who ducked at the last second.
- "We're sorry, miss..." Shizune murmured, pulling the other two behind her, as if to protect them from me.
"They knew... they knew I loved her. And they wouldn't let me save her.
My legs went weak and I collapsed, overcome by sobs.
- Get out... please...
"Beautiful. Very handsome. With blood-colored hair that never stays in place."
I shouted.
I wouldn't know how to live without Ino. I couldn't imagine the last ten years without her smile or her tireless good humor. Just like my family, she loved me.
***
Several scenes began to make sense to me. Ino waiting under the sun on the day of King Mangetsu and Queen Ajisai's visit... She was waiting for Karui. It wasn't Naruto and Karui meeting at night. It was Ino and Karui. It was for her that Ino didn't want to leave the castle, stealing kisses here and there, waiting for the moment to be together for real.
How Ino must have loved her to have been so careless, to have risked so much...
My heart froze. It would have been so easy if Sasuke and I had been in their shoes. If someone had heard our conversations, seen our kisses when he was in my bed...
Would I ever see Ino again? Where would she be sent? Would she still be connected to her family? Deidara... Deidara wasn't there during the torture, where was he? Would Karui's father finally show up? Could they survive, no matter where they went? They were from Caste Two, they had never made any effort other than to look pretty. An Eight depended on handouts, lived in squalor, slept on the floor... If they went north, they would freeze to death before winter was over.
How long would it take for their wounds to heal? And Karui... Would she ever walk again after that?
I remembered her back, the strands of skin, and ran to the bathroom, throwing up all my breakfast.
It could have been Sasuke. It could have been me.
I felt ashamed that I was somehow relieved, and I started crying again. There was nothing I could do but cry.
I spent the morning and most of the afternoon curled up in bed. My maids brought lunch, but I didn't touch anything.
I just couldn't pull myself together. The more I thought, the worse it got. Every time I closed my eyes, the images of Karui's destroyed back and Ino's screams came flooding back. I wondered if I would ever be able to forget.
I heard hesitant knocks at my door. My maids weren't there to open it, and I didn't want to move. So I didn't open it. After a while, the visitor came in anyway.
- Sakura? - Darui called out in a low voice.
I didn't answer.
He opened the door and came over to my bed.
- Are you all right, my princess?
I remained silent, unable to speak.
- Sakura... I don't want to defend Naruto, but he had no choice. It was that or the death penalty. The cameras discovered everything in the early hours of the morning and broadcast it to everyone.
Darui touched my hair and I moved my head away.
- She had to do that. Naruto is upset in the throne room; he doesn't think you'll forgive him.
Could I? It wasn't my back that was torn. It wasn't me who was thrown into misery for loving.
- I'm leaving," I said simply, and stood up.
Darui rolled his eyes. Leaving the Squad would mean that I could visit him in the land of Lightning. He tried not to look happy about it.
- I think you should think it over...
- Think it over? Think it over? The Yamanaka have always helped my family. I never saw Mrs. Momi raise her voice, but I heard her scream today. I never saw Mr. Inochi lose his temper, but I saw him shaking today. And where is Deidara? Where is he? Did they flog him too? Naruto almost killed my best friend, and I'm not going to act as if everything can be solved with an "I love you", because it can't.
I was crying, my face lost in tears, my hands trembling. Darui tried to approach me, but he didn't. He was here when they called him.
- He was here when you called him, wasn't he?
I looked away from him, feeling my face burn.
- He was.
- If you like him, if you love him...
- I'm leaving! - I repeated, my voice shaking.
Darui grabbed my shoulders tightly, forcing me to face him, his deep eyes trying to reach me.
- He had no choice, Sakura. You don't understand the weight of a title like that. Naruto will be king, and your country is dealing with rebellious colonies. Not to act would be weakness, and a weak king ends up with his throat slit before dawn.
- You don't understand...
- YOU are the one who doesn't understand! Do you think he wanted to do that? Who in their right mind would want to do that?
I took a deep breath, trying to calm the turmoil inside me.
- Put on a cape, cover your hair. We're going somewhere.
***
The jails were a gloomy place, where the corridors were lost in darkness, guards armed to the teeth kept silent, ignoring our presence as we advanced.