"I visited an orphanage once. Tried to cheer them up by saying, 'Don't worry, one day you'll all grow up and abandon your kids too!'"
A woman is sitting at her recently deceased husband's funeral. A man leans in to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?".
"No, go right ahead", the woman replies.
The man stands, clears his throat, says, "Plethora", and sits back down.
"Thanks", the woman says, "that means a lot."
An army general is newly stationed in a desert post. On his first day, he calls for a soldier to show him around. While doing this, he notices a camel randomly tied to a tent.
He asks the soldier, "Soldier, why is that camel tied to the tent?"
The soldier looks awkward and answers, "Er, well Sir, as you know there are no women on the base so er, the camel is there for when the men get certain…um…urges"
The general nods in understanding And says, "Well I don't condone this behaviour, but I suppose I understand"
