I'm So Unbearable
Hikigaya had finished browsing the light novel section. As he was about to leave, Hiyori Shiina, who had been following him, looked a little puzzled.
"Hikigaya-kun, aren't you going to borrow any light novels?"
"No, I was just looking around."
"Huh? Why?"
Shiina tilted her head, clearly confused. "Didn't you come here because you like light novels?"
"I was just checking things out." Hikigaya let out a dry laugh. "When I was in junior high, I liked them. But I gradually lost interest. Now, I only read more stimulating works."
The implication was clear: nothing here caught his interest. Shiina probably didn't know much about light novels, so she wouldn't be able to tell if he was lying or not.
As expected, she didn't seem to mind. A literary girl like her probably preferred classics to light novels anyway.
"So, what do you want to do now, Hikigaya-kun?" Shiina asked.
"Well, I was just planning to browse elsewhere." Hikigaya nodded, subtly signaling that their interaction had run its course. He had already thanked her earlier, and now he was ready to be on his own.
But for some reason, she was still tagging along. Even if she was just helping him find books or showing him around, it felt like she was overstaying her welcome.
"Um..." Shiina looked slightly hurt. "I'm sorry. I guess I got a little carried away since it's the first time I met someone with similar interests. I may have been bothering you."
Now she looked like she was on the verge of tears, and that made him feel guilty.
"It's not like that," Hikigaya said quickly. "I just... prefer being alone. It helps me get absorbed in reading."
"I understand!" Shiina's eyes brightened, her voice excited. "I also prefer reading alone, but everyone around me is so noisy. They act like it's not okay to be alone and always try to take care of me. It's such a headache."
"Yeah..." Hikigaya nodded, feeling a strange sense of kinship. "Those people always think they're helping you out of kindness. It's like they're doing it for your own good, but it's really just meddling. Some even act like being alone is some sort of mental illness. It's just frustrating."
He spoke from experience. Society had this way of labeling people who preferred solitude as if something was wrong with them. It was nothing but majority rule disguised as kindness.
Hikigaya couldn't help but soften his gaze when he looked at Shiina. It was rare to meet someone who understood.
"Oh, right." He cleared his throat, feeling awkward. "What were we talking about again?"
"Oh!" Shiina snapped back to attention. "You were going to look for other books. Do you want me to recommend something for you—"
She cut herself off, realizing that Hikigaya would probably refuse if she phrased it that way. Instead, she tried a different approach.
"Have you read anything by Dorothy L. Sayers?"
"I have," Hikigaya replied flatly.
"What about Emily Bronte?"
"Yep. Read that too."
Shiina's excitement only grew. "Wow, your reading list is impressive! But have you read Raymond Chandler's Farewell, My Lovely?"
"Oh, uh... not that one." Hikigaya admitted, a little embarrassed to be caught off guard.
He had read a lot, but his dad's bookshelf never had Chandler's works. From the title alone, he assumed it was some romance or cheesy detective story, so he dismissed it as junk literature.
"Then please read it, Hikigaya-kun," Shiina said with sparkling eyes. "And tell me what you think afterward."
"Why?" Hikigaya asked, feeling annoyed. Why should he share his impressions with someone else?
"Well..." Shiina scratched her head awkwardly. "No one in Class C likes novels, so I don't have anyone to talk to about books."
The regret on her face was genuine, and Hikigaya couldn't help but feel a bit guilty.
"Fine. But my thoughts might not be pleasant to hear." Hikigaya sighed. "Since you recommended it, I guess I'll give it a try."
"It's okay." Shiina beamed. "Everyone sees things differently. I'd love to hear your perspective."
"Well, I guess it's just some thoughts after reading. No big deal."
"Then come with me! I think the book is over here."
Shiina led him through several bookshelves, handing him Farewell, My Lovely along with The Lady in the Lake and The Little Sister.
Hikigaya's head throbbed. This was way more than he intended to take on, but Shiina's enthusiasm made it hard to refuse.
As they left the library, Shiina was still walking beside him.
"Oh, by the way, can I have your contact information, Hikigaya-kun?"
What surprised him wasn't the question itself, but the way she said it. It wasn't even a question, more like a command that left him little choice but to comply.
"Uh, sure." Hikigaya fumbled with his phone, surprised by how easily she manipulated the conversation.
Once they exchanged contact information, Shiina looked at her phone with a happy smile.
"Where do you usually read, Hikigaya-kun?" she asked.
"In my room or at my club."
"Club?" Shiina looked surprised. "What kind of club?"
"The Wool Department."
"The... Wool Department?" Shiina echoed, clearly baffled. "Is that something you made yourself? I didn't know you were into crafts."
"Not really." Hikigaya looked embarrassed. "It's just a club made to scam the school out of funds."
"Eh? And the school allows that?"
"Don't be so surprised." Hikigaya shrugged. "Even regular schools have pointless clubs just to grab money. The only difference here is that we have to submit some kind of result each year."
Shiina giggled. "I guess that makes sense. Even the Tea Ceremony Club has to participate in competitions every year. The school can be surprisingly strict."
She nodded thoughtfully, her gentle personality making her seem like someone who would look perfect in a kimono.
"It really suits your look."
"Eh?" Shiina's cheeks flushed. "You... you didn't mean anything weird by that, did you?"
"Literally. What's the problem?"
"Nothing." She breathed a sigh of relief. "But boys shouldn't say things like that so easily. It can be easily misunderstood."
"Uh, okay. Sorry." Hikigaya scratched his cheek, feeling awkward.
As they walked back to the dorms, Hikigaya started feeling uneasy. She was following him all the way to the dorm building.
"Um, Shiina-san, are you heading back to the dorms?"
"Yes." Shiina smiled. "It's rare to meet someone I can chat with about books, so I wanted to talk a bit longer. Also, just call me Shiina."
"Oh. Okay." Hikigaya felt his suspicion rise. Why was she so friendly?
Finally, as they reached the elevator, Hikigaya couldn't help but speak up. "Look, it's good to meet someone with similar interests, but just because someone likes reading doesn't make them a good person."
Shiina looked a bit startled but then broke into a gentle smile. "Hikigaya-kun really is kind, isn't he?"
"Idiot. No." Hikigaya frowned. "I'm telling you to be wary of me, too."
"I know." Shiina giggled. "But that's what makes you so kind."
"Whatever. It's your choice." Hikigaya sighed as he walked away.
Shiina watched him go with a thoughtful expression. Maybe it was his awkward kindness, or maybe it was because she had finally found someone who truly understood.
Either way, she couldn't help but want to see him again.
___________________________________
Get membership in patreon to read more chapters
Extra chapters available in patreon
patreon.com/Dragonscribe31