His breath hitched as he caught how dark Hael's eyes had gotten.
Every fiber of his being told him he needed to pull away, to get out of there before it was too late. His avoidant nature was running rampant, wrestling between his bodily and emotional desires.
Silence stretched between them, the energy thick with tension and unspoken words. The flickering torchlight in the room cast shadows across Hael's face, making his already handsome features seem sharper than usual. Ceremus could see the hesitation in his eyes, as if he was afraid if he moved even an inch closer, or touched him any more than he already was, Ceremus would run away.
"H-Have you ever thought that maybe your infatuation towards me might be fabricated? Like no matter what would've happened to us, no matter who I turned out to be, you would come to love me…because our fate decreed it as such?" He asked, breaking the silence between them.
Hael furrowed his brows, unsure of what Ceremus was implying with those words. The thought had never crossed him. To him, it was never a matter of fate. He knew in his heart that whether it be the Ceremus sitting next to him or another version of Ceremus he never met, he would come to love him. It didn't matter what shape he took. But as he thought this, he could understand what Ceremus feared. That his love wasn't a fabric of his own will. And this upset him.
"I've seen you and your best, and I've seen you at your worst. Even though I've witnessed your bad side, my love for you has never waned nor withered. In fact, it's only grown stronger with each passing day. I firmly believe that even if fate had nothing to do with my feelings, I would still come to love you, perhaps even more than I do now." He said.
Ceremus bowed his head, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the devotion in Hael's eyes. "I've done a lot of bad things, Hael. I've hurt many people. I've been selfish, putting my own needs on everyone else. I've used my position of power to get what I wanted," he whispered. I don't deserve someone like you.
Hael's heart sank, and he suddenly felt a distance between them, one Ceremus had unconsciously established. Just when he was about to retort, Ceremus uttered words that nearly took his breath away.
"...Despite all of this. I don't want you to turn your back on me. I don't want you to belong to someone else, even if you deserve someone more worthy of your kind and selfless heart. I realize how selfish this may sound, but I promise this will be the last greedy act I will commit in this life. I promise to be better. To prove to others that I am worthy of being by your side," He said through gritted teeth.
Hael exhaled, a slow, measured breath. "You do not need to prove yourself, Ceremus. I have already seen how kind you can be." As he said this, he reached out and placed a gentle hand on his cheek.
Ceremus tensed but didn't move away. If anything, he leaned into it.
The air around them grew heavier, charged with an array of emotions. "I hope you don't come to regret those words one day…" Ceremus said.
A small chuckle escaped Hael's lips, his warm breath ghosting against Ceremus' now heated skin. "I wouldn't dare,"
The king looked up. They were now less than an inch away from each other. The hand on Ceremus' cheeks remanded as Hael extended his thumb, lightly tracing his jaw. His eyes fluttered shut as he felt Hael's breath brushing against his cheek.
Ceremus leaned into his touch, unconsciously nuzzling himself in his hold, making Hael's eyes darken at the sight. With his neck now exposed, the guard had an uncontrollable urge to sink his teeth into the tender skin.
The king's pulse pounded in his ears, drowning every thought but the weight of Hael's touch, the heat of his palm against his flesh. He wasn't new to these sensations as he had enacted these feelings upon the countless women he had touched. However, this was the first time he was on the other end, and he couldn't help feeling anxious under Hael's gaze—vulnerable and exposed. Unable to keep his restraint.
He let his eyes drift open, finding Hael already watching him, his expression unreadable. No, not unreadable—hungry. Like a starved lion feasting its eyes open to its prey. Ceremus trembled. Swallowing hard.
"Hael…" His voice was barely above a whisper.
As a man himself, he already knew what that look meant. But he had already prepared himself for this moment.
Hael's thumb brushed along his jaw once more, going down to his neck this time—tracing his Adam's apple. "We don't have to do anything," he murmured. "Not if you don't want to."
That was the problem. Ceremus did want to. He wanted to tell Hael to have his way with him, ravish him if he so pleased. But as manly pride would have it, he couldn't bring himself to utter such shameful words.
How could he?
The space between them was nothing now. A single movement, a single breath, and they would cross an irreversible threshold.
Ceremus' hands clenched at his sides in frustration.
Say the word. Tell him. He told himself.
Ceremus exhaled shakily, his forehead almost brushing against Hael's. Desire and fear trapped him.
"Fuck," he cursed underneath his breath. If words won't work, then I'll show him through actions.
And with that, he crashed his lips onto Hael's.