Aria's POV
The sounds Jax made, still haunt me. Hours after the room filled with terrified people cleared out, hours after Ryker had gently steered my numb body to the room.
I couldn't sleep. The image of his mangled body kept plaguing my mind along with a suffocating amount of guilt.
It was my fault that this had happened to him. I might have not been in the best terms with him but he didn't deserve to die. He did nothing wrong.
My tears had since run dry. My throat was sore and scratchy from the sobs that had racked my body. My headache worsened but I couldn't bring myself to care about it.
I deserved every bit of pain I got. I deserved more but he hadn't, he didn't deserve what Kael did.
I felt disgusting, the fact that I was attracted to someone as vile as Kael made me want to claw at my skin till I bled out.
The vial Killian gave to me was beckoning to me, I craved the escape sleep would offer me. I was exhausted, weak and tired.
I reached for it, remembering the instructions Killian gave not to drink it all at once.
I downed the sweet smelling purple liquid in one go.
Less than a minute later, a wave of dizziness assaulted me. I didn't fight it, instead I welcomed the respite sleep offered.
......
I slept through the night and the next day till my growling stomach woke me. I turned burrying myself under my covers. I wasn't willing to stand up and face the day.
Not long after, I drifted into a restless slumber.
I awoke this time, to a full bladder. I groaned before finally mustering the energy to get up and relieve myself.
On my way back from the bathroom, I noticed the covered food that laid on the table. I ignored it, walking up to the bed instead.
Though I couldn't sleep, I closed my eyes and buried myself under the covers. I wasn't willing to face the day when a mountain of guilt weighed me down.
I wasn't sure how many hours I spent with my eyes closed before I dozed off.
Elara tapped me awake, my tired eyes met her worried ones.
"You've been sleeping for close to 5 days Aria. Please, you need to eat something" She said worriedly.
I hated that I made her worried, another thing to add to the list of things I hated myself for.
A lone tear slipped from my eyes before I quickly wiped it off. I didn't deserve the sympathy or care she was giving me.
"I'm not hungry," I mumbled, my voice hoarse and scratchy.
"This has gone on for too long Aria. You, starving yourself won't bring him back. You need to move on from Jax's death, everyone has." Elara said exasperatedly.
A part of me knew she was right but I just couldn't bring myself to care instead I turned away from her like the coward I was.
She let out a defeated sigh and walked out of the room.