I wake up. Eat. Go for a walk. Chat with friends. Watch TV. Sleep. Just the same old routine. Nothing special. Nothing more than an ordinary life—until today.
Today, something inside me is growing, aching deep down, like a shadow creeping in. It's cold. Empty. Lonely. I feel it pulling me under, as if I'm being swept away by darkness I can't fight. I need to do something. Something to end this unending void.I started feeling two emotions at once, confusing and conflicting. At birthday parties, I laughed and smiled, but inside I felt like crying. I was alone in my darkness, even when surrounded by people. On trips with my best friends, I felt distant, like I was watching from the outside, even though I was enjoying myself.
These feelings troubled me deeply as a teenager. Carrying both joy and sadness at the same time was exhausting and confusing. What were these feelings? Were they mine? Was someone else inside me too?My life used to be happy. I was the kind of girl who could light up a room just by existing. I had many friends, laughter came easily, and happiness was natural—like breathing. But as I grew older, something changed.But lately, the darkness has been growing darker—colder, heavier—like hanging on the edge of a cliff with no way down. It's a shadowy place, lonely and silent. No one can save me. I don't want to carry this anymore. I want it to end.
No—wait, this isn't what I want. I don't want to die. I want to live. I want to be happy.
What should I do? How do I fight these feelings?I couldn't explain it to anyone. How do you tell people you're both happy and sad at once? They'd think I'm crazy. So I hid it all, learned to live with these unknown, deep emotions, hoping one day I'd understand the truth.
I tried everything to fix it. Going out more. Trying new things. Learning and growing. Anything to find peace. But no day passed without this restless shadow lurking inside me.
Still, I held on to my fourth inner self—the part of me that survived the emotional rollercoaster. I thought maybe I'd live with this forever. That it was just part of who I am.I pack my essentials for the trip—sweets are a must. The journey is peaceful, except for that persistent dark feeling. I rest at the hotel and plan to visit the Sahana mountains tomorrow.
Sahana is famous for its natural mountains. They're green and flourishing in most seasons, but in summer, the colors fade, and people say they lose their beauty. I don't understand that. Even without colors, these mountains hold a quiet beauty, like they're changing their personalities—living, breathing, seeking freedom, soaking in the sun. I find that beautifulI decide to ignore them for now and focus on my new project: The Beauty of Sahana—the Art of Nature. As a photographer, I need to visit Sahana. Maybe the trip will help me feel better.
Photography has always been my way to express what words can't. Every living thing on Earth has a story, and I want to capture those stories in my pictures. It's my escape, my lightThe place is usually full of people, but it's summer, so only a few visitors are around. It's perfect for taking pictures without distractions.
As I move around, clicking photos, I notice someone standing silently, gazing at the mountains. His eyes are distant, lost in the landscape, as if he's part of it. I can't help but admire the way he looks—intense and calm at once.Tomorrow comes quickly. I wake up, eat a simple breakfast, and pack the important things. The breeze in Sahana is fresh—warm and cold at the same time, just like how I'm feeling.
I walk ahead, searching for the perfect spot to capture the mountains' beauty. I feel surprisingly fresh, even happy. For a moment, I forget the dark thoughts trying to pull me under. I want this joy to last forever.The place is usually full of people, but it's summer, so only a few visitors are around. It's perfect for taking pictures without distractions.
As I move around, clicking photos, I notice someone standing silently, gazing at the mountains. His eyes are distant, lost in the landscape, as if he's part of it. I can't help but admire the way he looks—intense and calm at once.I take a few candid shots of him, hoping to capture that quiet mystery. Suddenly, he turns and looks directly at me. Our eyes lock.
I can't look away. It's as if he's trying to say something I can't hear, and I'm desperate to understand.
The gloomy feeling inside me flares up—intense and overwhelming. Am I drowning? Is this the darkness returning? Was I lying to myself, thinking I could escape it?Tears well up and spill down my face. I don't understand why. Why now? Why him?
Words fail me. I want to say something—anything—but the feelings are too much.
Help.
Who are you?