For some strange reason beyond his mortal understanding, Johnnny always managed to phase back into existence in the most ungraceful ways possible. This time was not an exception. His head pretty much spawned above the clouds, which meant that he immediately was sent plummeting through the air.
Then came his arms and legs. He flapped these newly formed body parts to try and stay suspended in the sky, yet gravity clearly had other plans, since he was still stuck literally falling to his death. As soon as his throat returned to him, Johnnny let out a high-pitched shriek that made even the nearby crows drop dead.
And then he hit the ground. And slowly stood up. And blinked.
"What the fuck...?" he whispered.
Okay, so perhaps the rules of physics didn't actually work here. As Johnnny looked down at himself, he noticed that his torso had also phased into existence as he ungracefully descended onto the earth.
"Good, at least I have all my body parts. Sheesh, that fall really freaked the shit out of me," he mumbled to himself, patting himself down to check if everything was alright.
Johnnny then turned his limited attention span to his surroundings. It was your average fantasy forest, with the greenest, brightest leaves that left your eyes burning into your skull, and bright, highlighter-colored magic crystals, and two weirdly yellow eyes that peered- Wait hang on, magic crystals? No... Eyes? A person?!
"Mister, are you okay? You just splat onto the ground," a young child slowly tilted his head, staring up at Johnnny with the most unnaturally yellow eyes the man had ever seen.
"Huh? Oh. Yeah, I'm fine. You speak English. Good, I don't have to learn another language or something," Johnnny sighed in relief.
"Why is your head so shiny, sir?" the boy's eyes opened as wide as plates, a pale hand trying to reach the top of Johnnny's head.
"What do you mean, shiny? Something wrong with my hair-" he froze, the hand that was meant to be touching hair only feeling a smooth surface instead, "What the actual fuck? What- My hair..."
He wilted onto the ground, having realized that his hair probably hadn't phased back yet, and probably wouldn't for a while. Of course this happened to him of all people.
The child giggled, further adding salt to his wound, "You look funny. Anyways, weird-looking sir, what are you doing in the forest? Are you from a nearby village?"
"Huh? Nah, I come from a different dimension altogether- Wait shit, was I meant to say that?"
"Di... dimension? I've never heard of a village called that," he frowned slightly, then tugged at Johnnny's shirt, "I guess it doesn't really matter where you're from. What's your name sir? My name is Fin and I just turned six!"
"Um... Well, I guess it won't hurt to tell you my name. I'm Johnnny, nice to meet you, Fin."
"Johno?"
"No, Johnnny."
"Johnie?"
"Nah, I'm Johnnny."
"John... Johnna?"
"Oh my god, it's not that hard of a name. Johnnny."
"Ah, so your name is Johnny!"
"I- close enough."
Fin nodded excitedly, then clasped Johnnny's wrist, "Funny-looking mister, I'll take you to my village! I'm sure the other children will love playing with you too."
"N-nah, I think I'm fine, kid- Woah!" He tried to resist, but was quickly dragged across the forest floor as the child exerted unhuman strength onto his wrist.
He groaned into the palm of his hand, "There's a reason I hate reincarnation anime."
- - -
The village marketplace was a bustling, lively area of simply the most NPC-looking characters to have graced the earth. All of them were chopped to some degree- probably to emphasize the otherworldly beauty the very obvious main characters held.
Johnnny walked side by side with Fin, dirt marks littered all over his tank top and khaki-colored shorts. Somewhere in the middle of their not-so-graceful sprint to the village, his hair had very thankfully finally appeared back onto his scalp.
"Johnny, so what do you think of this village so far? My mama says that it's the best place ever!" Fin excitedly chirped, continuing to point out the occasional shopkeeper that he personally knew.
He scratched his head, a yawn stretching his face, "It's alright, I suppose. Ain't got much eye candy though. Anyways, aren't we meant to be playing with the other children?"
Johnnny was right now on the lookout for the very obvious main character of the show. If he didn't start capturing important events as listed in the anime's Script™, a document that dictated the normal flow of each scenario inside the show he would be filming, Meryl would be immediately on his ass and deduct his oh-so-important salary.
As his train of thought went, wouldn't it be smart of him to check out the children here? After all, most reincarnation stories started from the main character's childhood. If he found a particularly oddly strong or beautiful young child, there was a highly likely chance that the child would be someone that Johnnny ought to follow.
Sigh, his job was so complicated.
Anyhow, by the time he had finished fraying his braincells from thinking so much, Fin had finally located the playground. A more apt description would be that it was basically a grass patch with crudely crafted balls littered about and an odd-looking structure that resembled a slide made out of decaying wood, with around ten or so children running about.
"FINNIE!" A child screeched, her pigtails flying in the wind as she barreled into the six-year-old boy who was now grimacing beside Johnnny.
Her high-pitched voice reached deep into the cameraman's ears, "Finnie~! Are you back from the forest? Did you even grab any berries like I told you to?"
The girl froze, finally registering the man who was awkwardly standing next to the man, "You brought a fat, middle-aged man? Again? Fin, ma told you to stop doing that! You're singlehandedly raising the amount of restraining orders that the court has to give out!"
Johnnnie raised his eyebrow at the extensive vocabulary the seemingly eight-year-old girl had, "I'm not that fat. Nor am I a molester. Incel, maybe. But not a molester. Get your insults sorted out-"
But then, something caught his eye. A certain, young someone.
"Wait, what's that boy's name?" He abruptly asked his two companions, pointing to the young boy who was flailing around with a scuffed wooden sword.
"I thought you just said that you're not a molester. Of course you're interested by a young boy," the girl deadpanned, and glared at Fin again.
"My reasons are just simply beyond you," Johnnny chuckled.
"You mean you like little kids," she rolled her eyes, but answered his prior question anyways, "That guy's a weird one. I think his name was Asher, but nobody really talks to him. Bit of a loose screw. I heard he's a bully, so none of the other children have approached him."
Johnnny knelt on the ground, rummaging through the backpack he'd brought that contained all his camera equipment. He sniffed and took out a thick white file.
Episode One: Fresh Beginnings
[Enter a black-haired boy, wielding a wooden sword in the village playground. Suddenly, he convulses, and his eye color changes. Memories come rushing back, and he screams. The other children run away. Asher Vanguard is back.]
Johnnny smiled widely, "Seems like I'm just in time."